improve my relationship with my mother

I’m just not ready, nor is she. She called me a couple of days and I tried to let things go. Here is what I got:

She badmouthed my grandmother (my dad’s mom) and said some pretty mean things. I don’t even want to repeat what she said.

She badmouthed my brothers

She was drunk

There was more, but I don’t really want to go on. O love her, but it is easier to love her from a distance. I just wish I could have my mom back – not the mean, rude and drunk person I have now.

I need my mother to forgive me for what I have done.

She has done some pretty bad things in her life and in my childhood too but we’re trying to get through that. Therapy is hell but at least we’re talking to each other. But a couple months ago I did something very stupid and very sad. And from that time on I felt a horrible guilt in my conscience. I tried to repent it by being nice to everyone around me and being as diplomatic as I can. But my friends are tired of me saying ‘Sorry’ to everyone but the right person.

My mom called. i got my hopes up.

She didn’t want to discuss my feelings or her addiction. She simply wanted to talk as if everything was fine, happy and normal. It’s not. She cannot call me when she is solber. She can’t stay solber when I visit and she is an angry and bitter person. I got upset when she asked me what I wanter her to say so I told her…BIG MISTAKE! I was angry and was a little hard on her (I will fully admit that).

She inturn said that she didn’t realize that this conversation would be so “deep” and that she couldn’t do this and then hung up on me.

I called back and left a message for her. It basically said that It is because i love her, that I care and cannot tolerate her behavior and that when she is ready to talk i will be too and that I wont be so angry. I guess we’ll see what happens.

I am trying so hard, but it is difficult to have a relationship with an alcoholic…She is pissed at me because I told my grandmother about her problem. The total now stands at 7 phone calls and 2 letters that have not been returned. She is mad at me for telling someone the truth about her out of love, yet I can forgive her for her mean and hateful lies about me. Atleast I know that it is not my fault!

I dont know how to improve the relationship between me and my mother. I am a 29 year old woman, who wants to love her mother but cannot get over the BS that happened when I was younger. How do I leave the past in the past and move forward with the future? My mother sometimes just really tries to force me to hang with her when i dont want to. I really love her, I am scared she is going to die and I will never have a chance to make things right between us. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide to stop being such a horrible person, my mother makes me feel as if i am worthless and I always thought I was doing alright…I work full time, go to graduate school full time and am just trying to survive.

i am a 17 year old girl who doesnt currently have much of a relationship with my mother. i have an older sister and the relationship between her and i is very strained too…i hope to improve that

to say I managed to complete this goal. I know I put it aside 4 months ago, but what a difference such a short time can make! It’s all thanks to me moving out, I think the fact that we used to see each other every day strained our relationship too much. Now that it’s just occasional, we get along very well. :) I now have the kind of relationship I always wanted with my mother – I can talk to her about daily things, laugh with her, ask for her help when I need it. I can’t talk to her about ‘deeper’ things but I never wanted that, I’m too much of a reserved person, I can’t bear to talk about my deepest pains to the people closest to me.

Still, I’m glad to have gotten this far, considering what the situation was a couple of months ago. :)

... she’s simply unbearable!

Have to get through the rough period and basically start all over.

DEPRESSING.

She’s showing signs of ageing – she clings to the bannister of the steps and huffs and puffs – and that makes me feel sorry for her and very sad.

At the same time she’s becoming more and more impossible, and, dare I say, quite crazy…

Tried to call her and calm her down – maybe even succeeded.

I think the trip to Iceland did it. Days and days of undemanding time made us realize the value of each other. What a good feeling.