improve my relationship with my mother

I’m giving up on this goal, things are definitely beyond saving now, I just want to move the hell away from here and cut her out of my life (temporarily, at least). I just can’t do this.

what a great opportunity my recently-announced engagement will be for me to heal my relationship with my mother. My boyfriend and I just announced our intent to marry last week and already it’s bringing up a lot of feelings and issues in my relationship with my mother.

She’s always been somewhat controlling and critical, but I know I could be more grounded and just let it roll off my back instead of allowing every little thing to wound and victimize me. During a phone call with my mom this morning, I felt hurt and I tried to set some boundaries with her. But in hindsight I realize that she’s just going to think what she thinks and say what she says, and rather than trying to get her to change, I may do well to grow up a little more and let go of my desire for approval from my her.

Thank heavens for my partner, who sets the perfect tone by being supportive and sympathetic without taking it all too seriously.

As much as my mother is a complete lunatic in my eyes, I truly believe that she means well. I believe that what is holding us back primarily is the fact that I am still financially dependent on her and this gives her a way to have control over my actions and emotions. With the finality of graduating college this spring and getting a job this fall, I hope to be self-sufficient relatively soon. This will certainly help to develop an “adult relationship” with my mother.

i am 45 years old and my mother controls 90% of my life… she has made it her life’s work to “take care” of me but not in a nurturing, loving, compassionate way…. it’s mostly financial and she has made me almost completely dependent on her… it’s a nightmare… i can’t do anything without being criticized and/or belittled for 1) thinking about doing something that she doesn’t agree with or 2) doing something that doesn’t quite turn out right in her opinion….... i find myself looking forward to her funeral and then i feel horribly guilty about that. I feel so helpless and all I want is to have a normal relationship with my mother.

She emailed me in response to an email I sent her and so I bought her a card. When to send it, that’s what I’m working on.

and did some touring together.

It deffinetly improved the relationship.

At the very least – it created a basis to build on.

I have a terrible relationship with my mother. Actually – you can’t even call it a relationship, right now the only thing keeping us together is that we’re blood-related. I’m not sure could this situation get any worse, or have we already reached the bottom and the only way is up. What I know is that I can’t start repairing our relationship before I move away from home. Living here makes me anxious and when I get anxious I get ignorant and angry, which leads to fights with my mother. I have a bad temper and so does she, and this house just isn’t big enough for both of us.

I truly believe though that once I’m out of here, living on my own, building up my own life, our ‘relationship’ starts healing as well. It’s much easier for me to love my mother when we’re apart, being in the same house with her doesn’t work well anymore, I guess I’m growing up so fast these days. At least I’d like to have a relationship with my mother in which we can talk about ordinary stuff without fighting every two seconds.

During my teen years, my mom and I hated each other. We would fight constantly and she would torment me and drive me crazy. Our relationship has improved more than ever now that I have been away from home and realize how much I miss her voice, her cooking, her advise and her love… we talk on the phone and email each other everyday almost. I tell her to take her vitamins, wear her seatbelt and say her prayers… and she reminds me to get health insurance, save my money and take a fun class like yoga or art to be happy.

I called her this past week and did not try to fight, just ignored anything rude that I normally would have gotten defensive about. Asked her about herself more. Phone call went well actually!

I love my mother. I’ve been away at college and I missed her terribly. However, being back at home for a short period has made me realize why we argued so much. She tends to nag and worry..quite a bit too much. I take after my father—I’m arrogant, selfish, a terrible listener, and quite stubborn.

I need to work on some things.