trust God more

yesterday I had a revelation about this. Through talking with a person I thought that I was trusting God because this person knows God so much and for much longer than I have known God. So whatever this person said, I believed because how couldn’t this person know? I thought this was trusting God, but in reality, I was depending on this person to trust God rather than trusting God myself.

Well…I told God I was sorry because I had to trust Him for me. Not just through this person. It is hard though…trusting God on my own. I gotta though because it has been a lonnnnng time coming. I gotta grow up and do it for myself.

Today God heard my prayers. I was praying for help financially, spiritually, physically (tryna lose this weight!)...and he blessed me financially. God said, “I will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

I got a call out of the blue asking me to work for three weeks teaching summer school, which leaves me open to go to Orlando, FL with my sis and family as well as Tulsa, OK to sing in the month of July! It will pay enough money for me to do these things! Trusting God seems so hard sometimes. I think it is the fact of not being able to see what or how He will work it out, but I am so glad that I trusted Him to do it!

It encourages me in the other things I have been praying about. I believe I will lose this weight. I believe I will have that special guy sooner than later in my life. I believe that I will please God with this life He’s given me. I believe that my musical journey will grow, and that God will bless many through my music.

I will trust God. I will trust God… I WILL trust God.

currently in the process of doing this. There was a situation that came up a little while ago. I have been a little weird about my life moving to another level. I keep hearing things on timing, God’s timing. People keep asking me what I’m going to do with my voice. They say it is no ordinary voice for just singing in church or weddings. Everytime I sing, someone says this, and I am convinced that God is doing something wonderful in me with my voice. I prayed and asked God to help me to sing to His glory. I want Him to be pleased because I sing for Him and to Him.

I guess I’m getting a little caught up in what people are saying about it. There is nothing that I can do to move myself into a record contract or even sing for more than my church family. I don’t know, but I feel a little lost. I’ve been praying for God’s guidance, and I know trusting God is what I must do. I can’t keep worrying about things that I cannot change. I’ll just keep singing to the honor and glory of God. He’s so worthy of it!

I’ve had a crappy time lately and I’m convinced that it has everything to do with this. I have to trust God more. I’ve been trying to do it alone. It’s funny because lately I’ve never felt more alone but it is all my fault. I push people away. I push God away. I go into my little shell and I try to figure it all out all by myself and then I wonder why my life is so crappy. Wow…

I think the answer has been there all the time. It is always in God’s words…”trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path” (Prov. 3)

I hope this will never be complete…I wanna trust God more and more. I wanna trust God right now…

I’m pretty much a driver. I set my mind to do something and I go for it. I’m learning to be more directed than driven now. When I take a step back and trust God to be God and do something on my behalf, I end up much further ahead than by sheer effort. Plus, it can be exhausting! Better to be still and trust!

I struggle with always wanting to be in control. It’s hard to let go and let God be in control. But at the same time when I’m feeling overwhemled and I don’t know what to do in difficult situations I find peace in giving it to God and allowing Him to speak to my heart. I may not get the answer right away, but in God’s perfect timing I will.

I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has this problem. When things start to get hectic I tend to shove everyone out and try to solve it myself. Obviously, this fails miserably.

Seriously, if He can keep the Earth tilted perfectly, maintain a gravitational pull, and keep oxygen in my lungs, how can he not help with something so simple as an upcoming exam or a minor illness? God always provides for our needs. It may not be in the way we want them nor as soon as we’d like them, but he provides nonetheless.

:)

so many times i think i know what gods will is and it turns out to be of my own making