be more sensitive

Everyone is a work in progress and I could certainly be more sensitive, but I think I’m now on the right track. :)

I hate the way that I am told by people that I am too insensitive, a few important people is what mostly gets me. I have been told that I can cheer a person up with my jokes I am a funny guy, I am immature, but I am so insensitive, when people tell me their problems or issues i tend to make a stupid comment not even thinking about it. I see things like the unforgivable video on youtube that totally shoots women down and then stupidly make jokes bout it to women. i also tend to put this asshole costume on that makes me blow off things emotionally like i have a crush on a girl and i am in general mean to her somewhat intentional but alot of it is the insensitivity.

dont take people for granted.talking and communicating are important. listening is important. giving people time is important so value the time available to do these. all of these are needed to build and maintain relationships. dont read the paper when having breakfast with someone. same goes with television being on in the background at mealtimes. consider if reading a paper, magazine, book no matter how educational/ informative or watching tv are appropriate at ANY time while someone else is around.

discuss problems

discuss them now not later

sometimes how the problem is discussed and dealt with is more important than the problem

anger or discontent are not synonymous with personal attack, they sometimes just highlight the importance of an issue

listen! do not offer a solution too early. listening is more important than agreeing

agree to take a break at first sign of emotional flooding. at least 20 minutes

listening: empathy means hearing the feelings behind what is being said. this requires calm

if someone gives me their point of view, paraphrase it and ask if that is what they meant

Re-read what I have already learned. Take points from this and turn them into actions. Action and set reminders for these points creatively. I will not fail on this goal. This goal will continue after my deadline.

I just read a great goal there – “Demand respect for women’s healthy self-image everywhere and not accept mens’ oversexualization or womens’ demoralization of our bodies”
This is very well said and something I am going to read the entries for and have a think about.

Currently reading ‘Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman. Too early to give it the thumbs up or down yet. I borrowed this from my younger brother who reads voraciously. Considering this whole concept of sensitivity is something I only started to think about a very short time ago and he had already bought and read a book on it, he is is obviously a lot more switched on and aware about some things than I am.

I need to be more sensitive to my own needs and actually act on those feelings/needs. So often, I worry about what other people will think of my actions, will they accept that I need to sleep instead of do yet another load of laundry or clean yet another set of dishes that have wound up in the sink? In this respect, I need to be more sensitive to myself.

This is a fundamental change in my personality. I need to figure out how I am going to do this. If anyone has any ideas please dont hesitate to pass them on.

I’ve been learning how to hold my tongue lately.