get over my broken heart

I need to stop emailing him I need to stop all communication. All it does it make me feel worse. Every day that I don’t email, text message or call him means that I’m one day closer to living with out him and being ok. I need to remember this

Such a mixture of emotions. Some small part of me still loves my ex. Mostly, though, I feel such a great deal of anger, loneliness, and sadness. My feelings about the break up would not be so strong if other aspects of my life were better. I mean, if I had a job that I really liked, I wouldn’t think about my ex so often. I guess those other parts of my life are the things I really have to work on right now.

I told my ex that I wasn’t going to have any contact with him in the future for an indeterminate period of time. He says that he wants to be friends with me. However, whenever we get together, we just have sex, which seems to be the only time that he is really nice to me. Even worse, he has been seeing another girl, who he takes to parties and who he has introduced to his friends. He treats me like a mistress or his “dirty little secret.” But, I ended it today. This is a great step towards regaining my life and my self-esteem. Although I am not looking for anyone right now, the next guy that I am with will treat me with the respect that I deserve.

On Friday, I will move out of the apartment that my boyfriend and I shared for almost a year. I think that this is the best thing that I can do for myself right now. Even though my ex had moved out of the apartment, I still had daily contact with him. This has made it impossible to get over him. In my head, I know that he is not right for me. I also know that I need to start living and putting myself first. But, some part of me still loves him and is convinced that our relationship could work. Distance and time will help me to forget him.

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. I am still not over him. Unfortunately, we were living together in his apartment, so now I have to move. And, on to of it all, I was just laid off from my job. I feel like I have nothing. On the other hand, my boyfriend still has the lease on the apartment, his job, and I think that he has started seeing someone. He acts as if our three year relationship meant nothing. I don’t think that I will ever get over the relationship until I get out of this apartment and stop seeing my ex-boyfriend (who has been living elsewhere for the past month, but whom I see or talk to everyday). I just wish that I could move on.

Why does it too hurt so bad…How do you get this person out of your mind.I turn the radio on and songs remind me of him. He came off as a nice, sweet guy, very caring.And then he pulls disapering act – the excuse is is that hes been busy at work.

uh….it’s ossom!!

I am seeing this woman for almost a year now, and she without a doubt is the best woman for me. Few weeks back I proposed her to marry me, and she refused, and I respect her decision. Since than I can not stop thinking about her, even though I can see that this relationship is not going anywhere, and I dont know what to do. I tried to break up with her, but she did not let me go. We still hang out together and have real good time, but…. :-((( So, technically I am not heart broken but I still feel like totally devastated, worst part is that I can not show that to her. I want to get over this heart-break (?) and constantly thinking about her.

Funny how life is, now that I am over my ex I wonder if I was ever really in love. So perhaps I never really had a broken heart. And strangely we are friends, so maybe that was all it was supposed to be, and I am not even a little bitter. Hence the reason why I think maybe I didn’t really love him? Hmmmm… so perhaps I didn’t actually do this?

Regardless I am claiming victory anyway.

(Sitting in my room listening to Alexander O’Neal’s “A Broken Heart Can Mend”.)

I met him when I was 19; he had just turned 20. We were together for about four years—some off, some on, but mainly on. I’ll be 25 next month. He was my first love.

I was madly, deeply, SICKENINGLY in love with him. (That is a word, right? Oh well…) We met in, probably, unusual circumstances, but I’ll spare you the short, boring story and say that we instantly fell in love and made that connection.

We were, and are, total opposites: me, a good girl; he a bad boy. We were cool for a long time, till he started “needing” things. He was the type that grew up rough and wasn’t shown a lot of love, so there I was to give it to him. I was the type that grew up sheltered, but at the same time I never saw what a positive relationship should look like when I was growing up. I grew up in a dysfunctional environment, you could say. Anyhow…

I made the mistake one day of giving him $600 when he was in need. He wasn’t expecting it, he didn’t ask for it, and I just offered it to him. I remember wiring it to him, and when he got home from picking it up, he was so surprised that I’d given him that much money. That was my first mistake.

From then on, whenever he was in “need”, he came to me, and I found that he was always in need after that, and I always gave to him. Even when I didn’t have it, I found a way. It got to a point to where his needs were sneakers, clothes, cell phones, etc. I definitely became his fool, and I’ve found that people don’t respect fools—they use them. I sold things for him… I sold things so that he could pay his bills. I was a fool… All I cared about was him. I saved him sooooo many times, and all the time he was hurting me. Calling me names, making me cry when I couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything for him. He’d even ignore me and wouldn’t talk to me unless I did for him.

I single-handedly rescued him. I helped him get a car, and he joined a car club and stayed out into the wee hours of the morning and wouldn’t take my calls. This man really hurt me. The hurt was so bad that I wanted to die many times.

Anyhow, long-story a little bit shorter… I broke up with him when I couldn’t take it anymore. He’d apologize, and I’d go back. Finally I realized that things weren’t going to change. I dealt with the using, mental abuse, and the time that I found out about his cheating. I dealt with it all and stuck with him. Finally, I left and didn’t turn back for a good four months. Then, I started to miss him. See, I’m the type of person that when I break ties with someone, I change all methods of communication so that I can’t be contacted by that person anymore. I literally changed all of my phone numbers and e-mail… But when I started to miss him, I sought him out and it started again. He’d be really sorry, but he’d start again. He even promised that he’d be a good friend to me.

The second-to-last time, I contacted him on Myspace, and he was extremely happy to hear from me. We were cool till he started complaining about bills. I was scheduled to fly out of the state and even country, and he wouldn’t even talk to me before I left because I wouldn’t help him with something. It broke my heart, so I left him alone. Then, I started missing him. Grief…

I contacted him a few months ago, again, on myspace, and he was happy. Telling me how he’d changed and how he thought about me all the time. Well, he didn’t ask me for anything but to help him with some advice. Things were actually looking up for him. He was in school, had been granted $14,000, and he even bought a car and paid some bills. He started a new job and was enjoying himself—going to clubs and wherever else. His life was looking great, and he wants to remain friends with me. Again, my heart cracks… I went through hell and high-water for this man… I basically lost everything because of him and behind him. Literally, everything. I loved him and that’s all I cared about, but it hurts like hell that I’m stuck with all the hurt he caused and how positive things have turned out for me while I’m struggling. I’m an emotional wreck, stuck loving someone that hurt me, but as a friend I have to hear about how he has three prospective girlfriends to choose from… It kills me. I cry myself to sleep nearly every night. I know I need to move on, but it’s hard. I start missing the love. I think I miss the love more than I miss him. Just that feeling that’s gone now. That hurts. It just sucks how someone can treat you so bad and you’re fool enough to run back to them to treat you bad somemore, ‘cause you miss them. I ran back to forgive him and to be a friend, but he’s moved on and is enjoying his life, and he hates to even talk about how he hurt me. So, I’m stuck with it all myself, and not to mention being stuck with re-building my life and thinking about him every day. It hurts, but I was a fool. You’re not supposed to treat people so bad when they’re loving you and doing all they can for you. It’s not right… I was stupid… Stupid in love…

My goal is to leave him alone for good and to not worry about him or who he’s with or why he doesn’t care. I don’t want to worry about how someone else will be in his life, and he may love them more than me or treat them better. I don’t want to worry with these things. I guess if I loved myself more, his love wouldn’t even matter. I want to stop praying every night for him to miss me and love me forever… Aaaaaah… I’ve got 42 more goals to write, but for now, I’m gonna cry.