be more easy-going

I’ve recently found myself becoming more and more stressed, irritable, unhappy, and frustrated about every little thing imaginable. I’m not sure where this is coming from, but it’s definitely making my life NOT FUN!!! I’m pushing people away from me and not getting anything out of it.

So it’s time to focus on this again – could it be possible that this is my natural state? Cause this has happened to me before, but then I worked really hard at being less uptight and it worked! And then I stopped doing the things that I was doing, and…..here I am! Stressed and unhappy.

So I’m going to start relaxing again – I’m going to start reading my “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” books again and I’m going to invest in the book called “You Can Be Happy No Matter What.”

I’m going to start implementing techniques and strategies to get back on track to being a happier, more relaxed, fun, and easygoing person!!!

I know, actually, that I can mark this “done” now.
I don’t have that nervous perfectionist feel around me anymore. I often catch myself calming people down and trying to make them see that not everything is black and white, as opposed to being the one that needs calming down. I didn’t really work on this, but just having it on my list of goals reminded me constantly of how much I needed to let go.
I smile more, even though March and April were probably the toughest months ever for me.
Being on 43T helped me learn like nothing before that there are people struggling with really hard things daily and it gave me a totally new perspective. I preserve my energy differently now and always keep in mind you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I hope this will come in handy with all the troubles ahead!

in your life when you let it in (OK, and when you don’t suffer from depression any more).
When my bf and I get into a fight, he seems to every time want to do it all over again, even things we just resolved a few hours or days ago, and that ridiculous situation just makes me laugh…I don’t know why!
There’s nothing funny about sitting in a car with an extremely pissed driver who curses the day he met you, when it’s raining, it’s dark, the traffic is awful, and you’re going to work, but on that particular morning I just didn’t feel like fighting, quarreling, or staring through my window in silence-I just felt like laughing…and it felt so good!
There was that half-second when I paused to think if maybe I’m losing my mind, but even faced with that caption, I felt like shouting that life is too bloody short to be wasted like this, and I would have, if I knew just one word that could express it!

I’m ruining a lot of relationships by not being easy going. I think about everything, and overthink. i take everything seriously. Now I have a great guy who loves me and i’m afraid i may be pushing him away….i really need to Chillax!

It’s time to relax with petty things and make room for motion and achievement! It’s time to laugh things off and choose the battles…
Life is only so long, no room for being stuck up and look for perfection in every single detail!

I am sooo uptight about EVERYTHING!!!! I just want to let things roll off my back. Seriously!!! Why do I need to take everything so seriously?! There is no pointin it. Most of the time it just puts me in a bad mood, and then I ruin the rest of my day. Grr….Im going to start changing that today!!I want to be laid back and enjoy my life. Most of my stress is caused from worrying about things too much. If I could accomplish this goal….oh the possibilities!!!!

I could write a book listing all the petty little things that get me irrationally annoyed. Loud eating, gum-chewing, idle foot-tapping, pen-clicking, excessive sniffing, popcorn in cinemas (full stop_ the list goes on.

I know that other people are annoyed by these things too, but not to the extent that I am. I often completely avoid certain situations/people (e.g. full or even potentially half-full cinemas, my otherwise lovely Asian housemate (louuuuuud eating) because of these things. I don’t just get annoyed at the action – I associate it with the person and begin hating the person with a passion. Not too good for my social life.

I need to change! Perhaps I should tackle the eating thing first – I’m sick of waiting for week 4-5 of a movie’s run to see it. And I want to relax enough to be able to share a meal with my Asian housemate!

I’ve found humor to be very beneficial in this goal. I’ve been able to laugh at things when they normally would irritate me, and I think that’s really what I needed to learn. Some things are just beyond my control and out-of-the-ordinary, but really, what is ‘ordinary’ and since when does only the ordinary happen to anyone?

The other day at the grocery store, a rotund, toad-faced woman ran into me while I was stationary. She ran over my ankle, and it hurt. She scowled at me, told me I should watch where I was going and further muttered something derogatory under her breath as she shuffled off, zig-zagging down the aisle, messing with her cell phone.
Ten minutes later in the frozen foods section I had the freezer door open and was pulling out a bag of frozen vegetables and CRASH! someone runs into the door, which bangs into me. It’s her, and she says, “Are you going to take all day?”
Under normal circumstances, I might have been a little indignant about her attitude, considering the circumstances. Instead I smirked, and then I laughed. I could tell it wasn’t what she was expecting; she looked shocked. She called me a very uncouth name as she lumbered away.
A bystander sidled over and complimented me on my actions, saying she don’t know that she’d have been able to blow that off. I left the store feeling pretty good…well, except for my ankle.

As easygoing as I am, I have decided to become yet more easygoing. I get stressed sometimes when things don’t go according to plan, though I don’t get upset about it. Some may say that were I any more easygoing, I would fade away into nothingness, but this is not so…I have a leopard gecko who is living proof.

I’ve made a very unsettling discovery… I am a spaz. If things don’t go my way and oh so smoothly, I seem to have a fit, every single time. And everyone else sits back and chuckles at me and tells me that everything will be fine, until I do it so much that they get irritated with me and either yell at me or give up and go away.

I realized it because of this whole school thing… I started the enrollment process really late, thought it would be OK, saw the list of things I had to do and panicked. Immediately I started rattling off to my boyfriend all of the things that could go wrong… what if they wanted my tuition up front? What if I couldn’t get my transcript in time? What if I couldn’t get in for orientation before the registration date? What if the classes I wanted were full? What if I couldn’t afford my books when I needed them? What if I did poorly on the placement tests?????

I think he thought it was a little funny… he just told me to take a deep breath and calm down, that everything would be fine.

And then it was fine.

And I felt like a hyperactive freak.

I really need to learn to take a step back, look at things objectively and let them happen the way they should…. without spazzing about details. I don’t have the slightest idea where to start, though…