get over my social phobia

..that I don’t actually have social phobia, but I’m just an arrogant bastard who really is selective when it comes to people to socialize.

There must be a reason why I prefer to go to a pub alone to read a book at Saturday night, and not join the party that I was invited to.

And you know what? I’m not annoyed of that actually. I don’t see anything that needs to be changed.

Because reading about African mythology is much more interesting than listening to conversations that includes where some people got their last sun tan, how much drunk they were in that last party, or where the nicest shoes are sold in town.

I’m thinking that, it is meaningless to try to change as long as I’m not complaining about it.

Why it is supposed to be necessarily bad?

It feels like, I’m a homosexual trying to change my sexual identity and force myself to like opposite sex. Just because it is supposed to be good and this is established as norm in the society, although I really really don’t feel like it.

I’m just born in this way, sorry.
I’m never ever gonna be enjoying the company of “normal” people who doesn’t have any idea about the things that I wanna talk about. 8 months ago

A lot to be said, a lot to be done.

If I was to try to sum up the whole thing, I’d probably have told my biography here, especially the last couple years of my life.

And I finally, at least admit it and dare to adopt this goal.
Although I don’t think I’ll ever be done with this deeply rooted thing, maybe I should just learn to live with that. 9 months ago