wake up one morning, smile, stretch, and think to myself "this is a wonderful life" and really mean it.

one day…. wheres Clarence when you need him?!

this one makes me smile. I hope I can someday wake up one morning and just think this :)

It’s a beautiful morning. It is the morning. The rain is running its soothing fingers along the windows, tapping the roof with a dream-like rhythm. The coffee is black and heavy; the “fog-breaker” blend, which is perfect for rainy days. Wisps of diaphanous mist paint the Connecticut river valley a lazy grey, and everything seems just right. I get a big, square pillow from the floor, and exchange my coffee for the pen and journal from the nightstand. Half-way through the motion a yawn starts, and spreads throughout my body as I stretch luxuriantly in every direction. Life is good, after all. I smile.

Later I sit in the breakfast nook that I built out of the detritus of our previous life. The rain has stopped, but the feeling of peace and relaxation still permeates the house, keeping my shoulders loose. Breakfast makes the scene. It is Mexican-spiced pork with Rice and Beans from last night, topped with three eggs and some picante sauce. Perfect. And these aren’t just any eggs. At long last, these are eggs from our own hens again. Pepper, the lead hen, laid them this week, and they are small, but they are also rich and creamy and from my flock, which makes them special. The rooster crows and I smile again. Melissa Etheridge sings to me in my solitude, “I had the perfect cue to fade but I keep on walking….” I’m close to an epiphany, I can tell, but it slips away before I can write it down. It’ll come back, I know. Just relax, and breathe, and remember that this is a wonderful, wild and precious life. I could want nothing more. The rooster crows again, and I feel like I really know what he means.

ok, so now I’ve got the backlog, I’ve got the work, the business is flourishing, I’m writing again, and all is well.

.....

(dave looks at the sky.)

.....

(dave taps his foot, while studying a nail)

.....

(dave looks up and spreads his arms wide)

.....

(dave’s arms fall to his sides.)

Nothing. Ok, so I guess I’ll just have to wait for that magic moment a little longer…

I really do have a wonderful life. Let’s count some blessings:

Three brilliant, talented, successful children whom I adore. They are, truly, my best friends.

A brilliant, talented, successful wife who likes sex, likes to cook, and can earn as much money as I can or more.

A beautiful home in a beautiful town in a state with the best public schools in the country (or among them).

An international reputation in my field.

A budding new business, of which I am the boss.

Excellent health.

Improving habits.

Time and inclination to cultivate my art (writing).

It really is a wonderful life. It’s so wonderful, I’m willing to fight to keep it. I will build my business until it can support us, and I will build my writing until it provides me all the fulfillment I need. I will not give in, give up, and take another middle-management job with a long commute. I will not.

Today, I woke up, smiled, stretched, and thought to myself “well, what am I going to do today?” You see, it felt like Saturday. That’s because when you are self employed and work from home, every day feels like Saturday. So I got to thinking, “I’m living a life full of Saturdays! What could be better than that?”

_{then i got to thinking about the mortgage, and I downloaded the latest visa statement, and the day sort of went down hill}

But still, it’s close!

Yesterday I smiled, stretched, and thought to myself “this really is a wonderful life.” But I didn’t really mean it. Maybe if I just keep doing it, it will finally become real?

I’ve made great progress on this task. In the last few days I have really approached some serious, no fooling, epiphany to the point where I can taste it. I would guess that 3-4 hours of sitting somewhere quiet with my journal will push me over the top. If only I could find 3-4 hours…