I really do switch between feeling healthily confident and feeling like I’m garbage. I don’t know if it’s cycles, but one week or a few days I’ll be feeling the lowest of the low like I can’t do anything and I’m worthless. However – usually with the help of my boyfriend and by trying new things or getting a new perspective – I can turn things around eventually. I feel like my low cycles are getting shorter. I know I can do things and I know I’m good at some things, I just need to keep reinforcing them and not letting the frequent failures in my life get the better of me. 2 months ago

My life is a roller coaster. I have no control over my emotions nor do I feel happy at all. I feel awful, tired, stressed and not happy. How did this happen to me? I just need this weekend to collect myself and find the happiness again and get my motivation back. 3 months ago

I think it just happened. I know I’m worth happiness, love etc. Sometimes if I’m not happy or I don’t feel love, I’ll feel bad about it, but I know I’m worth it. Also, if anyone did make me feel bad about myself if I know in myself that I’m worth being happy then it doesn’t matter what they think! I hope I can stick at this way of thinking, but at least I do feel my self-esteem has improved, as I said! 5 years ago

It has been very hard for me to concentrate on this goals, because I am always super busy. . But I need to do this. My lack of self-esteem is ruining my relationship with people I love and care about. 4 months ago

- Start taking risks. Make goals and push yourself twice as hard to accomplish them.
— Work hard, so that you can defeat the inner critic. If it is your writing that you are worried about sharing, take the risk of sharing it. Realize that you’re not trying to please others, you are doing it because it makes you happy.
— People will criticize you whether you’re doing something wrong or right. The fear of their criticism should not hold you back. It should not transfer to your mind and become your inner critic. If anything, it should make you stronger. Let it be the reason that you try extra hard to do what you do.
—- The inner critic was created by those around you. Everyone has their own perception of what is perfect and what is right. That does not necessarily mean that it is correct, or that you should adhere to their beliefs.
— Do what you want to, because you might not have the chance to do it in the future. You never know when your last breath will be. While you have all these breaths to take, take them while you’re following your goals and aspirations. You’re not doing them to please those around you, you’re doing it to please your heart and soul.
—- The inner critic can be silenced, but only if you truly believe in yourself. 

FROM: TUMBLR. 4 months ago

This has become my new year rev. to 2014. I really want to focus on this and do my best. I am ready for a new start and now perspective of my life. . 4 months ago

I often beat myself up for the smallest things. I never see the good in myself and I always put myself lower than everybody else . Why? ... I don’t get it. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy, because I need to work for it, if not then it doesn’t matter. I need to do something with this! 4 months ago

As a child I had been judged along side with my sister. I was the fat one and she was the pretty skinny one. On top of that I had ezcema on my face, particularly around my lips, nose and ears. My mother would take my face in her hands while applying the medicine to my face and said, “You poor thing.” So, at that age, I am thinking that I am ugly. Relatives can be so cruel and called me chubby or fat right in front of my face, so I hated going to family functions because I knew I was going to get hurt. Being antisocial seemed like the easier road. So, now as an adult I have low self esteem even if most of the eczema has cleared up and I’m losing weight. Last night I had an epiphany. Yesterday, I went out with friends and came to terms with my emotional deep seated inner thoughts about myself. I was overly guilty and overly self conscious. But I made a mental decision to try and counter those feelings. I came to the idea that if I forgave my mother and the rest of the relatives and anyone who has every called me fat or made fun of my ezcema, then I can begin to rebuild my self esteem. Starting with my mom. My grandma, her mom was extremely judgemental and strict on her and actually beat her in front of my mom’s friends when she was younger. So, this was a learned behavior that was passed down the generations. Also English is my mom’s second language so her use of the wrong words made in impact on me. She could have said, “You are perfect just the way you are, but let me moisturize your face.” Choice of words can make a huge impact on a child’s life. As far as the relatives go, I understand that it’s the Filipino culture, wrongly so, that will point out and tell someone they are fat. This is very commonly done in the Philippines, maybe because you can seldomly see a fat Filipino there, so this fat person draws attention, and must point them out. I don’t know why the culture is so focused on outward appearance: weight, hair, clothes, brand names. It’s disgusting. I have to consciously distance myself from those types of people so they would not affect me. Anyway, in my adult life, this low self esteem is not going to be helpful for me to be my best in my line of work. How can my patients believe in me, if I don’t believe in myself. So, this low self-esteem has to stop now. 4 months ago

I am also gonna start doing this, because loving yourself and self-esteem are related to each other :) ... any tips to how I should start? 5 months ago

in this area now. I don’t beat up on myself so much anymore, and people I meet describe me as confident. This is always a work in progress though so I will keep it on the list. 5 months ago

We have tapes rolling in our heads that we are often unaware of. One I discovered about two months ago ? “I am a failure”!! What?? I didn’t even know I was repeating this in my head or feeling this way! Crazy to think! Because while I had been feeling quite down about myself, I didn’t realize I was was helping to cement these feelings by reiterating the false point to myself over and over again.

I’m creating some new “I am” statements to replace any old yucky ones I discover replaying themselves- those are OLD TAPES. I need some current MP3s to get cranking in my brain!!

So…..

“I am gentle and loving, kind and compassionate”
and
“I am only like myself, unique in my own rite”
and
“I am whatever I say I am”
(Thank you Eminem although I am not a fan of your harsh lyrics, this is a great sentiment)
and finally…
“I am enough”
“I am deserving” 5 months ago

... Entry to follow… 6 months ago

Yesterday my MIL visited. Unfortunately she and I don’t really get along. She is a bit mean spirited. My husband is very funny. He said “You have to go into this thinking that she os going to say 5 mean things and then make a game out of it and keep track!” And I said, “And what if she says more?” and he said “Bonus Round!” lol : ) He is very funny. In any event. In true form she said a few passive aggressive things that would put blame on me for doing something wrong in her eyes. I actually felt anxious, a pit in my stomach, but I also felt a little force field around myself… and this sense of “I’m not going there. It’s not true. And I’m not going to apply her statements to my being. Her opinions do not create a picture of my self worth.”

It felt good to find a force field. To not let others’ opinions penetrate! 6 months ago

Sometimes when we don’t feel good about ourselves, we collect evidence to prove whatever we are thinking is true… often times it’s in the way someone else treats us or what others say about us. I’ve even noticed at times that I can take a comment that is relatively benign and if I’m not feeling good about myself, turn that remark into some piece of evidence proving the false belief about myself. Yucky stuff! And a terrible way to treat yourself.

So what I’m trying to do is put those investigative skills to use in a more positive way. Instead of collecting evidence to prove I am “bad” (or whatever I’m feeling). I am going to collect evidence that proves I am a beautiful, worthy, kind and compassionate loving being!

Instead of being so worried about what others think of me and how they perceive me, I need to just realize the truth and worry about what I think about me….

So here I start:

...crickets chirping… thinking…. thinking…

1) I am a fiercely loyal and true friend.

Whenever one of my girlfriend’s needs me, I am there to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, offer advice. I am ALWAYS loyally in their corners and I will kick some butt if I need to!

Ok… there’s a start! 6 months ago