rock steady

I want to think more about why I stay up past 11pm. I have some vague theories. Want to write more about them in my journal. When the night comes I get these anxieties and I want to do all sorts of things just to not go to bed. Going to bed late is my choice now. And by my own choice, I’m not rocking steady. Not the direction I intended to head in. Grrr. Feeling angry at myself. Also not constructive. Need to find better ways.

1. I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN! I’m human. It’s OK for me to take it slow and easy and soon I will find more success and “crash and burn” will be a thing of the past.
2. I need to eat, drink, sleep, keep warm etc. like every other human being and pay attention to all my human needs or else I get sick. That’s the deal, no exceptions for me.
3. Life is unfair. Absolutely and utterly. So I need to just get over it. It’s not gonna change. No matter how much I cry my eyes out over it. Just make the best of what the dice throws me each day.
4. My perfectionism will sabotage at every corner. But only if I let it.

I want to list all the things that help me to keep myself steady.

1. my flylady.net control journal
2. regular routines
3. a weekly schedule
4. regular income (money)
5. three regular meals per day (ideally at the same times)
6. reading & reflecting in the morning
7. balancing work and play
8. riding my bicycle
9. speaking regular to friends on the phone
10. Yoga
11. TaeBo
12. dancing
13. listening to music
14. going to bed at the same time at least 5x per week (ideally before 23:00)
15. gettin up right when the alarm goes off
16. getting up at the same time at least 5x per week (ideally before 06:00)
17. keeping in touch with friends
18. going out and being social regularily
19. taking time out for myself and reading, writing, drawing, crafting things I like
20. outdoor activities (like taking walks, cycling, ice skating, roller blading but also going to the flea market, farmers market etc – ideally with friends)
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