Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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stop worrying all the time


 

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SUBTITLESUntitled

what helped me was a psychologist! seriously!
until my family graciously offered to pay for help (i would never have initiated this on my own and am far too stubborn and ‘sensible’), i was able to see how fear was really just fucking up my life.

i’ve been seeing a psychologist for about 2 or 3 months and i can’t even begin to describe the incredible freedom that i experience. i always thought people were weak, unintelligent and silly for ‘letting someone else handle/deal with their problems’.
didn’t realize that sometimes you’ve done all you can do and you need help to do the rest. i just didn’t get it.
but now looking at my list of 43 things, after having the same goals for about a year and a half and seriously thinking i was working toward them before, i’ve noticed that in less than three months i know how to actually go about doing something about them. by the world’s standards i’m an intelligent, successful, attractive, ambitious person and was still not able to do this on my own!

so i can proudly say that i’m on the path to stop from worrying all the time. 4 years ago


missfrugalityIt's never going to happen

I should just face facts.No matter how much I want to do this – it’s beyond my capabilities to change what basically am…a worrier.So from now on I’ll try to stop worrying about worrying all the time. 6 years ago


meliflowerno sooner do I cross this off my list...

than I’m up with insomnia for the first time in months at 4:00 in the morning.

My main worries:
-the $210 I had to spend today on that towing/ticket.
-the arbitrary floortime assignments at the RE office that’s just not working out for me lately and knowing I need to bring it to my broker as an issue
-the fact that my daughter’s going away for a few weeks
-the expense of my Sebago vacation coming up and the worry of that whole trip
-the worry that my daughter is moving onto a different phase in life and so I need to too (empty nest setting in)
-the worry of aging and feeling that my time is limited. I want to live forever and I no longer have that illusion at all.
-the need to get laid and the recent aversion to dating..bad combo. It’s still been since Robert. That’s getting quite lengthy.
-a to-do list that’s just completely overwhelming.
-the fact that my daughter’s spending 2 extra weeks on the east coast with her dad’s family. Worried for her well-being like I always do and worried for my own loneliness while she’s gone. I’m just so used to her being here..it’s hard for me…I always have a rule that if my only reason for denying her an opportunity to do something is that I will be here alone…then I must keep that to myself and let her go. Little does she know how many times in her life I’ve been inclined to tell her “no” to something for selfish reasons but I stifle that.

These things are all bothering me and I can’t sleep. My heart feels a little crushed at the moment with all this worry.

Yet at least I can put a finger on some of the causes…instead of my head just spinning with anxiety and not being able to figure it out. That alone makes me feel like I have a better handle on worry than I used to.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me and wish me luck.

HUGS, Melissa 7 years ago


meliflowerI have made enough progress

to where I don’t have to “worry” about this right now. ;0) melissa

Frankly, I’m a deep thinker and am very worried about the life cycle right now, and where I stand in it. I’m also worried that I seem to be such a loner when it comes to romance. I don’t seen to know how to stay bonded to someone…I have chosen to be by myself too much….without a partner. It may cause me to lead a lonely life after my baby girl moves on with hers…at some point I will not draw the male attention I now do and the options may not be there.

Those are my two deepest concerns at this time.

I don’t know if I can ever take worry off the list of my main personality traits. I was trained from a very young age to be full of anxiety and fear…my mind requires rewiring to get rid of this and truthfully, that’s a tiring endeavor and I don’t know if it’s worth it to me to expend so much energy on it.

So, I’m at the point that I sleep 8 hours on most nights…..that’s how I guage my worry..if it’s not enough to keep me up at night, I can remove this goal from the list for now. 7 years ago


meliflowerI have improved very much in this area....

Worry is still an intregal part of my personality…but improvement noted.

I have a friend who has recently inspired me. She claims that we create our reality through our thoughts, which I can agree with. I believe our thoughts dictate how we perceive the world…and what you look for is what you find…and so our thoughts preempt our experience of the world. We have a lot more control than appears on the surface.

My friend has recently reminded me that worry, although unconscious, preempts the very situations, conditions, etc. that I am afraid of. I draw the subject of my worry to myself with my focus.

It’s very vague, what I’ve written here…yet the examples in my own life are very specific. She has encouraged me to refocus my energy, time, and thoughts into more positive directions, and to consciously interrupt worries with positive thoughts and train my focus elsewhere.

She perceives our focus as a choice. She reminds me that our time on earth is limited and we must focus on only the best things. 7 years ago


Nathan CoppedgeWell, I'm employed and I've somehow learned how to relax (now and then)

I’m working part-time at the public library. The office (which I share with one or two co-workers, although not simultaneously most of the time) moved to the first floor so now I don’t have to climb three flights of stairs every time I get to work. It also has a ridiculously large window looking out on Yale University Press (a nice piece of property), which has my step-father jealous.

I’m a strong proponent of the theory that environment is a major factor in stress level and general health, so it makes sense to me that having a first floor office would reduce stress (especially since many of the books I search for are on the first floor and basement levels). But I have mixed feelings about my new environment, since my title is “library assistant” or “library aide”, so I can’t help thinking that I’m supposed to be over-awed with it (and partly I am, although my imagination has conceived of greater wonders), as though maybe this is that moment in every young adult’s life where they taste something better, for the last time.

But returning to the issue of relaxation, for many years I have taken some pains to turn my thoughts wherever they are flexible towards peace and happiness, but not always with success. Sometimes it simply results in a kind of bitter angst about the ugliness of things, and my failure to wish with sufficient mental strength.

Every now and then I find myself in a situation where I am reminded that there are far better things, things I am not always certain can be attained consistently, as though they might lose their promise. Gardens, a passing beauty, a conversation—much of my life they remain figments which inform my concept of the ideal, but whose value remains transient (not to be overwrought). I start to wonder if its only product is a wistful memoir, or nostalgia, or some sort of beauty engendered by bitterness.

Quietly I hope that my creative efforts will add up; that they will amount to a garden of happiness, or even not of happiness, but a garden in any case—even of machines, or stone terraces, or fountains, or towers, or clotheslines…

So much of my life is a search for a garden. 7 years ago


Nathan CoppedgeWhether or not I worry in words, I have all kinds of subconscious fears...

For as long as I can remember I haven’t been able to relax. Its a very rare day when I can do something that should be enjoyable, and feel satisfied.

This has led to sleeping in (no motivation to get up), staying too long at cafes without saying anything to anybody (no reason to leave or say anything), general listlessness etc.

The overall feeling is that I’m wasting time, and that’s my job. I call this kind of existence “filler”. Its like my whole life is filler, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Part of me says that my awareness of filler is proof that I deserve better. Another part of me says that the fact that I haven’t been able to do much about it is proof that someone has it in for me.

Whatever the case, maybe some of this has to do with worry. If I didn’t worry about looking immature if I enjoy myself (my father was always serious), if I don’t worry about the consequences of friendships, or about becoming a different person than I have been, or losing the potential for life that I have been carrying with me, it seems like life would be a lot easier. I’d even get more accomplished.

Yet there is so much grit and frustration in my life that when I calm down a bit I feel like I’m letting down my defenses. What would I do if someone insulted me when I was feeling vulnerable?

There’s so much abuse going on, so much loss of what might have been, that from a certain standpoint its unjustified to be anything other than a perfectionist.

Yet having lived one way for so long its clear that I can’t take many more steps in that direction without being more practical and proactive.

Its clear that my passive attitude, or at least the conditioning that led to a passive attitude, is a curse. I have freed myself to the extent that I have certain types of creative output, but I haven’t been able to make any sort of living off of the things I do that I consider valuable. That I am unable to do so in a capitalist society engraves in me constantly the impression of a bodily insult.

Against these sensations of deservedness it is difficult to see how I can relax without admitting defeat. The defeated who once deserved better seem very foolish indeed.

I have been struggling with the idea that I am discontent with my life being overall tragic, comic, or tragi-comic. Would it do any good to find a new kind of theatre? For clearly ideas are without inherent cash value in this world… at least when it comes to improving what matters—quality of life. 7 years ago


melifloweri have had a temporary set-back

At the end of the year. I was up for 2 nights just upset and worrying about any number of topics. I think it’s natural to worry at this time of year and I’m going to consider it an abberation. Last night I got mediocre sleep…better than the two previous. Tonight I will do whatever I can to relax and get a good night of zzzzzzs. 7 years ago


meliflowerI've actually been doing exceptionally well with this.

I have had a few exceptions…I’m a lifelong worrywort to the nth degree. But I’m very happy with my progress. It is no way to live, constantly upset about what could, may, might happen…never feeling a sense of well-being in the world. It sucks a lot of the enjoyment out of life and I’m very pleased that I am finally after 37 years getting a handle on it. This problem was deeply ingrained by the time I was about 5 years old…it is really a very old, deep problem, so there is a lot of magnitude in my progress. 7 years ago


meliflowerI'm gonna see how this gos through March 15

If I can make it into March with decreased worry that I have had recently, I’ll mark this as done! :0) I’m still having the same issues, just worrying less! 8 years ago


meliflowerSooobusy

I have been swamped for two weeks straight; I have not even had time to come to this website and relax a little bit. I am very unhappy at the moment as I see no break in sight. I’m sure I’ll get through it fine, it’s just that I’m not happy with it. Obligations and chores from 5:30am to 10:00pm every day. 8 years ago


meliflowerI don't have any goal that can incorporate jokes, so i'm putting them here...

They keep me from worrying.

Can I add a fart joke, or is that just too immature? Well, here it is:

A woman goes into the doctor’s office and says, ‘Doctor, you have to help me…I’ve got this problem: You see I can’t stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don’t stink. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted 20 times just now while talking to you.’

The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady, ‘here, take these and come back in a week’.

So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. ‘Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I’m still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?’

The doctor replied, ‘Oh don’t worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we’ll work on your hearing problem.’ 8 years ago


meliflowerlighten up Meliflower...this guy's about to die and he's not worried!!!!

Blind man walks into a bar and says “anyone wanna hear a blonde joke?” Woman behind the bar says “Hey! I’m blond, the girl over by the pool table is blonde and a body builder, theres a blond standing next to you who is a triple blackbelt in karate, taekwondo and jujitsu, over there is a champion kick-boxer and my sister is out the back with a shotgun. you really wanna tell a blonde joke?”
“nah” says the blind man. “Dont wanna have to explain it five times” 8 years ago


meliflowerI'm so damn worried!

I can’t sleep; I keep staying up tossing and turning for hours on end.

My job #1 stresses me
job #2 scares me and stresses me
A date on saturday stresses me…why???? he’s cute and nice.
My daughter’s teenage struggles worry me…
I can’t seem to relax….I need sleep….
My schedule stresses me…there’s just not enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to be done.

ughhh! I will try to relax myself. 8 years ago


meliflowerThis is a life-killer

I wake up in the morning and my mind starts ticking with anxiety. A lot of times I don’t even know why. During the day as I’m active, it’s no problem…it’s when I’m in my car, it’s when I’m relaxing in the evening, it’s when I try to go to sleep that the anxiety gets me.
I worry about my daughter.
I worry about my job.
I worry that nobody will ever love me.
I worry that I’m getting old (37).
I worry about bills.
That’s just the beginning of the list.
I worry for hours…sometimes I don’t even fall asleep. I just stay in bed all night with my eyes open, worrying incessantly. I go to work all bleary-eyed and feeling completely distressed.
It does no good. It adds nothing of value.

It’s difficult to rewire your own thought processes into new healthier ones, but it’s not impossible. It just takes hard work and patience.

That time I spend worrying could be better spent on more creative endeavors. It could be positive, good time instead of nerve-wracking. We only live once…we have only one life. I believe I can conquer this and I’m certainly going to keep up the good fight. 8 years ago


LynoureUntitled

This too was gone with depression. Or the depression was gone when I had learned this, maybe. 8 years ago


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