beat my depression & eating disorder and LIVE LIFE!

I NEED help…anorexic, bulimic…alcoholic…

I think I’m getting this one happening for real these days :) definitely not there but I’m on my way. Just got a better perspective on things, doing things smarter, more positive.. Trying harder? And all in a good, healthy way. I feel like I can see it but I cant quite touch it. I know where I can/will hopefully be in a month or so’s time, but I can’t quite believe it’ll happen just yet.. But i know that it can. :)

I have had the whole array of eating disorders.I have been able to control being restrictive and purging and even excessive working out. for a long time now and I even allow myself to have candy when I want with success sometimes, but im still struggling with the bingeing part. The only way I can describe it is like a very strong addiction and once I get the urge I want to silence it by feeding it. It sounds disgusting but I somehow seem to like the excess every once in a while even though I know it makes me feel out of control and like I cant trust myself afterwards and I will hate myself for it the next day or two. Sometimes it feels like these binges are unavoidable I feel addicted: it’s a trance like compulsion.

I hope im prepared to fight this thing off for good. i have formulated a new and totally comprehinsive battle plan, something i have never had b4.

Wearing an elastic band on one's wrist and snapping it hard to remind oneself not to begin the out of control bingeing process when the urges and temptations present themselves

Go for a walk or leave the environment that is tempting you to binge

If you prevent a binge from occurring, calculate how much that binge would have cost. Put the money in a jar each time you succeed in not bingeing and use that money to do something special for yourself like getting a massage, buying a new outfit, etc.

Flush the food you are planning to binge on down the toilet

Pamper yourself (i.e. polish your nails, get your hair done, get a massage, etc.)

Take a yoga or a stress relieving class

do some mild exercising like pushups and sit ups (but only moderate amounts)

here goes nothing wish me luck!

hi all, is been a long time since i wrote. its been hard really hard, way up and down – but i think i am getting on top of things….. WOW. I think i found the solution to LEAVING THE BULIMIA LIFE BEHIND – i’ve found something i like better than food. it sounds so simple, and i guess it is, but its really, truly a big breakthrough. um, dont know how healthy it will turn out to be, but for now its a reason not to binge and purge and GOD thats something miraculous. ARGH i just want to be through this!!!
i put this one under the “beat my depression & eating disorder and live life” banner because for the first time in a long time, thats where i feel like i’m headed… HOORAY! i am finally wanting not JUST to stop throwing up so that i’m , well, not throwing up, but because i want to LIVE LIFE. getting back to being somebody i enjoy, who makes me happy and that actually particpates in life at last feels achievable.. and it feels SO good to think that.
to put things simply – i want life to be crazy, wild, non-stop, busy, fun, satisfying, enjoyable and meaningful. and AT LAST, thats exactly where i see myself headed.

how is everybody else going?? hope you’re somewhat closer to beating your demons, whatever they might be..

I know this is possible. Its out there, all i gotta do is go grab it. well ladies, watch me go do exactly that – i want life and i want it now!!! i will be strong. i will be smart. i will be concrete-focussed until i am somewhere i actually want to be. wish me luck…