Overcome perfectionism

I’m tired of feeling/thinking I’m never good enough.

I messed up big time in college b/c I couldn’t start a project and/or because it was not good enough. I barely graduated.

I can’t apply to jobs because I have trouble seeing myself as the BEST candidate.

Well not to get all big on myself, but I’m pretty damn good and if you want to tell me otherwise, up yours. That means you, my inner demons.

Perfectionism causes me to never be fully satisfied with anything I do. I spend ages on the tiniest details and in the end I decide it’s just not worth my time, it’ll never turn out the way I want it. So what I do is, I keep starting new projects without ever finishing what I started.

Things need to change, this is taking up way too much of my time.

I think that people need to realize that unique and different things are beautiful not the expected. I think that at the end of the day we need to give ourselfs a break and be happy for life in general, for the things that matter most. Not what you could have done better or somehting you will never live up too. Just be happy with who you are

I keep holding on to my perfect scenarios and when things are not going the way I expected, I get very dissapointed and freak out. So, this is an important thing to work on.

Perfectionism has kept me from doing so much. The cascading thoughts of how to get something perfect has brought a lot of anxiety and as a result I’ve shelved too many things. I know that I want my life to be about being happy with having a full life every day. I’m ok, it’s ok, and it’s all already perfect.

While it’s something to continuously strive toward reducing, I think this is just a part of who I am.

Sometimes I’m so worried about doing something well that I don’t do it at all. The higher the stakes, the worse it is. If I don’t do it, I can’t be lousy at it. If I don’t do it, I won’t struggle with myself and be frustrated because it’s not good enough. Somehow, failing to do it at all is better than doing it poorly. I think this is what is at the root of my problem tonight.

‘Overcome perfectionism’ sounds funny at first. It’s like ‘Oh I’m so perfect, I can’t handle it’. Seeking excellence is healthy; comparing yourself to vague standards of success is not. To accept the fact that I don’t have to be perfect, I can make mistakes and fail gives me comfort.

I get tied up in my need to keep everything in order, I like having control (or I need control…oy) and I have the most ridiculous standards for myself—which, as noted, holds me back. I need to work on doing the best I can without taking it to the perfectionist level.

I thought I had overcome perfectionism…
but now I feel like I try so hard not to be a perfectionist, that I am too mediocore compared to how I used to be.