According to Myers-Briggs, I am an INFP and am prone to not taking criticism well. I think this is certainly true of me – I always seem to be perceiving things in a way that they weren’t intended. I’m not sure why – people ask me why I am inclined to think the worst from them, but I don’t see it that way at the time. For me, if I see even the faintest trace of a negative emotion, I start thinking I’ve done something wrong or I’ve really annoyed this person. I don’t blame them for thinking that (well, if it’s a stranger, I tend to get irritated if I think they’re judging on the tiny bit of me they’ve seen, but nothing major); I just feel bad for having caused it.
It’s not healthy, because it makes me feel guilty for things that the other person didn’t really have that big an issue with in the first place, if at all; and eventually, I end up being resentful of the fact that I can’t seem to make people happy.
This is completely ridiculous, because firstly, I’m expecting that if anyone is unhappy around me, I’m the cause; secondly, I’m assuming that when they are engaged in conversation with me, I can be the only cause of their unhappiness, when they may very well be thinking of something else or a number of things, of which I may be a tiny factor; thirdly, people’s happiness is to a large extent, their own responsibility, and there should be a balance between my intentions to do good, and being gracious enough to apologise for any damage done, even if I did have good intentions or feel that blame is not clearly one way or the other. Better this than being sullen or argumentative.
I sound like a real grouch now, but I feel that my personality is at best complex, and at worst, a mess! I tend to be a pendulum between different states, rather than equanimous. I wouldn’t say that I have extreme mood swings or anything; but I can change mood quite drastically with little stimulus, and I would really like to get this under control. Little mood swings will be fine – I don’t want to be the same all the time! :)
[I was trying to come up with an image for this goal, and just remembered Joe Pesci from Goodfellas, and how touchy he was! :) Don’t worry – I’m not that bad! But I did think it was amusing :)] 5 years ago