don't take things personally

Since i was very young i had a weird way of reading what people were saying,and i really should learn to just let comments go. And no care so much.

I have discovered that when I give to much weight to the thoughts or the actions of someone else, I am neglecting myself in some area. Usually the fault,( If I should even call it that) lies in the fact that I am focusing my energies in the wrong place and it’s time to go within. Truth is in the stillness and I often have the tendency to distract myself with the mindless busywork of worrying. So I am focusing my energies on Lovin the Skin I’m In. This leaves no room for worrying because loving yourself takes alot of work. You really don’t have the time or the energy to worry about the other stuff. I am not talking about the superfical stuff. Bur the unconditional stuff that breeds truth and healing.

I have always been a sensitive person. When I was little I would cry when I heard a fire engine because I knew someone somewhere was hurting. Since that time I have learned that I am empathic. I have also learned that I don’t have to accept other people’s opinions just because I understand their feelings and their energy.
Since making this goal I have learned that life is far too valuable to clutter with someone’s expectations of you. Everyone else is just doing the best they can with what they have and that has absolutely nothing to do with who I am. I have also learned that I am or was a terrible enabler. No one can save anyone else, especially from themself. When I was younger my mother used to tell me to consider the source when I was internalizing someone’s misconception of me or my intentions. It has taken decades but I have finally internalized that statement. I am the one true source I need to consider. Spending time connecting with my true self keeps me from misinterpreting the actions of the outside world. In order for me to stop taking things personally, I have to do what’s needed to take care of me, the complete triad: spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I now see that when I am too concerned with what’s going on outside, it’s time for me to go within.

this is one of those goals that is never-ending. it is an attitude and a decision rather than a “do it and be done with it” goal.

i’ll consider this goal met when i’ve had and documented 10 instances of not taking something personally that i normally would.

if anyone has any recommendations for articles or books that have helped them with this goal, would you let me know? i’ll also post anything i find. i know this is one of the toltec “four agreements,” and it’s certainly the most difficult one for me to internalize.

Nor the worse OFFENSE.

Nor the worse SNUB.

Nor most serious HURT.

In the measurement that somebody wants to hurt you, in that measurement that somebody is hurting himself.

But the problem belongs to Him, not to you.

But I very seldom take shit personally…well, unless it’s MEANT personally…or I’m on my period…tired…or pouty for some reason…or early in the morning when I’m not awake yet…or unless it comes from my soontobeexwife…or a muslim…or some other whacked out religious asshole, like christians telling me how to live my life…and what to believe and not believe…and whom I can love and have sex with and not…

Otherwise, what’s to take personally?

It is very hard not to wonder what I said to upset somebody to make them unsubscribe from me. I know that people close accounts, they move on, they adjust subscribers, it may not be that I did anything at all. It could be that what I say just doesn’t interest them. It could be they hate my foul language. But in the end, really, I shouldn’t take it personally.

I am certainly confused as to why I have as many subscribers as I do. And yet, I lost 6 subscribers this week and I have to say that it does bother me. I think it’s the not knowing who or why that makes me sad. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my subscriber count so’s as to not know. Ignorance… bliss? Maybe not.

So, goodbye you mystery 6. I hope you fare well. You’re welcome back anytime you like, but you’re free to go any time.

Those of you still around and interested in the verbose ramblings of an aging programmer, you’re crazy, but I love you.

I tend to do this a lot, even though I know I shouldn’t. So I had a look for some resources to help me, maybe they will help you too.

Read Taking it personally – do let me know if you find it useful.

Kx

I take everything personally. Its probably my biggest flaw, when people dont like what Im doing or dont agree I get offended. I try so hard not to take it personally just kick back and love me for who I am. But for some damn reason I take alot of things to the heart . Like work I work in tech support sp everybody that calls me will have some sort of technical issue and sometimes yell and talk down about the company. I dont exactly take passion in what I do and I get offended whe they down the company.

and I have to give the fridge door an extra little tug, which, not thinking, I do. I’m guessing now, since I couldn’t see through the door, that a bottle got wedged under one of the shelves. In any case, the railing of one of the door shelves, the railing that keeps everything on that shelf, pops off. Without said railing that keeps everything on that door shelf being present, the everything that was formerly kept on that shelf by the railing now has no motivation for staying on the shelf. So, it all jumps off.

Here’s the part where I should mention we have hard tile floors. I think, actually, that it’s exterior tile. It’s really lovely. But, in this case, the relevant feature of this tile is its hardness.

The everything that jumps off the shelf is, to the last count, all bottles. Two break, including a full bottle of wine. The wine is nicely chilled and had a bouquet of wild strawberries, hint of field grass. A large shard of glass stuck into my finger. My blood, the wine, some shitake mushroom sauce, it mingles on the sponge and rag. Takes me a fair amount of time to clean up, and make sure all the glass is gone.

I do not believe that I was personally being punished. I don’t think it was God’s will to break my 2000 Zaca Mesa. I don’t blame the company who made the refrigerator for the really easy to pop off shelf railing. I don’t think Zaca Mesa made their bottle too thin resulting in this painful finger poke.

This was not personal. It just was.