enjoy myself

for sightseeing or anyhow ,just let it be.

BECAUSE LIFE IS SO STRESSFUL FOR ME RITE NOW ITS CRAZII.

Always inform that I need to enjoy myself. However, it is really difficult for me to do that. Every day, during my working time, my boss always can find some faults about my job which give me the feeling that: I am so badly,even a siple thing couldn’t do well.

Hope one day I can improve myself and try to enjoy myself.

Self love is the hardest love to accomplish.

But you can’t truly love others if you can’t love yourself.

So I’m going to learn to do so. :)

after a scary melt-down morning with the lad we went out to lunch to even out the blood sugar (in both of us), then back to our favorite place MOCHA: the oakland museum of children’s art, where they were having a mr. and ms. potato-head beauty pageant and we made a few gorgeous potato heads, then home to rest, then off to kirtan at my yoga studio. one of my yoga mates dana delong played music with her group jagadambe. she is an incredible musician, but the energy in the crowd was pretty low. it was good, not great. but still fun to be able to make art then go to kirtan all with my son and all in one day!

and its proximity to san francisco, and all there is to do here. this week alone:

• took my little pal to his first rock show – one of my faves, bonnie prince billy – at the great american music hall in sf

• halloween carnival and parade at school followed by a filled with electricity meet up at the farmers market with the farmers market guy, followed by dinner with friends, followed by fabulous trick or treating

• a visit to the oakland museum of children’s art for their “creative reuse” art workshop, made art with my son all afternoon, then later a dinner party with new friends

• took the bart to a huge, massive, dia de los muertos carnival in oakland, an awesome event with wonderful art, music, food, amazing altars, fun kids stuff… extremely crowded (they said 100,000 people!)... very very wonderful

• lots of yoga to balance it all out

i feel resonant here. no other way to put it. i can’t say yet that i feel happy. but i feel right here. this is fun!

a reminder of why it’s important to do those things that bring happiness and enjoyment…. went to an amazing flamenco show tonight. yaelisa and an incredible dancer from spain: juan ogalla, along with great gypsy guitarist pedro cortes and gypsy singers felix de lola and manuel malena. juan, while a great dancer, now takes top ranking on my most incredibly gorgeous man i have ever seen list. both of the dancers had such intensity, such passion. it was an incredible show, and it felt good to feel good like that, to enjoy life and have fun and appreciate art and stomp my feet and even dance a little.

enjoying myself listening to pandora… amazing today. sometimes it is absolutely magical when song after song that i love come floating out of the speakers.

??

I have a work, work, work attitude. If I’m not doing something useful or practical or something that NEEDS to be done, then I don’t feel happy.

How can I enjoy myself? Does enjoying yourself mean doing something relaxing? I don’t know. It’s odd.

When I’m working I can’t technically be “enjoying myself”. Although, it feels like my stress levels are down because I’m not worrying about having nothing useful to do.

Does that mean that although I work a lot I AM enjoying myself?

Don’t know. This is an odd one.