get rid of my myofascial pain syndrome permanently

I woke up this morning all tight and in pain. When I started to tell my body to relax, I immediately noticed that my face was all tight and scrunched up. Also, way on the inside in my head there’s a muscle that gets all tight too…it’s hard to describe where it is but it seems like it’s up and behind my throat…wouldn’t that be my brain?! :\

I must have been dreaming something stressful and crazy. Maybe everything I’ve been thinking about and trying to change about myself is coming out in my dreams. I’m sure my body is going to fight me on this…but I’m going to fight back harder. I am strong! I can do this!

The whole time I was getting ready this morning I was saying my mantras over and over again…

“I am happy, positive, motivated and relaxed.”
“There is no need for physical pain.”
“No clenching, no tension, no pain, wash it down the drain.”
“It’s okay, you are okay, everything is okay right now.”

I think the irritation from my inconsiderately noisey neighbors is making my pain flare up. I did guided imagery and sound therapy today and I got my body to relax but it started tensing up again because my neighbors were being all slammy all day. I wish I could stop my irritation from even going into my muscles. I wish my neighbors’ actions didn’t even remotely bother me. :(

It’s trying to flare up right now…I can feel the tension and my tummy is upset too. Why? Because there’s so much going on right now?!? I leave for NYC in 5 days, I’m swamped at work, I’m worried about Monti being alone in the condo for the first time (someone will be checking on him though)...etc, etc.

There is no need for this physical pain. I’m stronger than it is. I don’t need it as a crutch. Breathe!

Every once in a while I notice that I’m still clenching my teeth. I don’t constantly do it like I use to and I always notice when I’m doing it. After I notice, I make those muscles relax and let go. I also say a few times, “no clenching, no tension, no pain”.

Breathing, guided imagery, exersice, better posture and a bunch of other stuff that I can’t remember what its called…has helped with my pain. It still comes and goes though, mostly from getting stressed or anxious.

One new thing I learned that I have to try and do as much as possible because it’s only suppose to take 6 seconds…
I take a deep breath in and imagine that warm air is coming up through holes in the bottom of my feet, traveling up my body to my head, bringing my shoulders up to my ears and saying to myself “relaxed body”. Then when I exhale imagine the air is going back down to my feet and out the holes, relaxing my shoulders and saying to myself “calm mind”.

We talked about what stresses me out. The biggest thing being my hostile work environment and how I feel trapped there, mostly because I completely suck at interviewing. During interviews, I get so anxious I freeze up and then I look like an idiot. He said he can help me with that.

I must go do my breathing exercises now. I do feel really good afterwards.

I went to my first therapist appt. last Saturday. I thought we would be talking about my feelings and working through all my issues that cause me stress…maybe we will be still, idk…but he wanted me to buy an audio CD on breathing techniques and he’ll be hooking me up to biofeedback that will tell us which muscles I tense up and will teach me how to relax them. Should be interesting…as long as it works. I go back in 2 weeks.