relax more often

Well, I must say that I am a bit amazed that I have been able to be a bit more relaxed than normal during this vacation. I haven’t had all too much mental problems (my anxiety and fear neurosis), which means I have been quiet calm! Too bad that tomorrow is Sunday and the last day of holiday and that the day after tomorrow I’ll be sitting at work again. Already from yesterday I started to feel nerves and stress again, making me already freaking. I’m only 27 and already would like to be home all the time, doing whatever I want. Oh well… we’ll see how everything evolves. I definately have to try to get more calmth within myself. Maybe I can make that a new goal grins.

Relaxing is for me impossible, or as good as impossible. I have an anxiety / panic neurosis, because of which relaxation is as good as unexisting. When I try to relax, my anxiety kicks in, not wanting to allow me to relax.

But, I try because else my body will be ruined in no time. Being on holidays, I more or less relaxed this afternoon a bit. I had cut this branch of a hedge and peeled it clean of it’s bark and was waving it around like a kid. I must say, acting like a kid does relax some times, it makes you go back to those days when there were no worries.

The past two weekends in row we having left town!! Weekend before last we went and visited Joe’s sister and got to visit Downtown McKinney. Since I’m so involved with our local downtown I wanted to see what McKinney was doing that we could do also. It was a great weekend and I came home with some great ideas for the 4th of July weekend next year! :)
Then this past weekend we went to my brother’s in-law’s lake house. It was very relaxing, we went out on the boat and went swimming. Joe took me out on my first jet ski ride….I didn’t like it….but when he took me out a second time the water wasn’t as choppy and it was more fun than the first time! I still didn’t like it when we went over 30 mph but it was kinda fun. Then we drank some margaritas and sat around and played some games. All in all 2 pretty relaxing weekends!!! This weekend’s plan….work on the loft!!!

Well I was doing fine two days ago with the relaxing. We have an art showing on Saturday and I was doing really good…everything was coming together and I wasn’t stressed at all. But today…....not so much…The AC might not be hooked up for the show so it could potentially be very hot in the Gallery during the show. I’m really trying to not stress to much; which is why I’m on here…hoping typing it all out will help release some of the stress (might be working a little bit). It amazes me how relaxed Joe can be though this….I’m freaking out that we might not have AC and he is just like “would it be the end of the world?” That is when I will call this goal done…when I am more like my husband.

Relaxing more often is definitley a big goal for me. I’m constantly working on school work and if I’m not working on it I’m worrying about it!! ahh i just wanna be able to sit back and enjoy life as it passes by!

I went running today, pushing myself really hard, and I was wearing weights as well. But today Instead of just walking for rest, I laid down and looked at the clouds…

Just laid in the grass and relaxed, I don’t think this is what I mean by relax more often, but oh well.