simplify, simplify, simplify

simple pleasures for me:

holding my son’s hand while we walk to the car in the morning. buying the pretty stamps instead of the plain old stamps with the flag on them. watching the squirrels scamper across the lawn in the morning to chase the chipmunk that lives in the railroad tie lining my garden. black & while photos of my children as babies. sidewalk chalk pictures. patches sewn on to my backpack from junior high. the velveteen rabbit. ritz crackers with cheese slices. iced tea. a birthday card mailed to me from my grandparents- they always put confetti in the envelope for me. finding a penny heads up. mr. sketch scented markers. my favorite Gap blue jeans…they are a size 2 & that is amazingly blissful to me. james taylor songs. pepperoni pizza. going to the zoo & having a picnic. swings at the park. seeing a full moon.

lately i have a new found comfort in compiling lists of things that makeme happy or things that are important to me. i am not sur eif this is me taking stock in my life since the adoption or if i am just taking the opportunity to remind myself that life truly is simple & phenomenal all at once. i am so lucky to have all the people in mylife that I have, all the privileges that have come my way & most importantly each day that has been given and those yet to come…life itself is a simple pleasure.

I made 24 cards by hand this year, and bought another 15 but also “fiddled” with those to make them more personal. Grand stuff, and I’m really proud of how they’ve turned out and the effort I’ve put in, but there is no telling as to the amount of time which goes into this. Incredible. Finding a poem (‘cause I want something meaningful on there), finding ideas for a design, fiddling around with that for weeks, buying all the supplies I need, starting making them, then writing them, then finding all the addresses, putting stamps on, ... Seems like I’ve been doing nothing but this for the better part of a month. And some people really appreciate this, but I also know some who just chuck this in the bin come early January.
So next year: I buy the cards, I am allowed to add something simple (stamped, or glued) and can still add a poem, but will only make them from scratch for my parents, sister, grandparents and perhaps one friend who even frames them! That’s it. Promise :-)

I finally took down all the little post-it notes and such from my walls, stowed the extra never-going-to-use-it-but-i-have-to-keep-it-just-in-case junk in the closet out of sight. Feels better!

For years I have used things , having things as a way to insulate myself from feeling.
The casual amusement and distraction of shopping second hand was way beyond any personal need for economy. It was a drug, to get me out of feeling anxious, or to buy something that would make me more attractive to other people.
I ended up being all dressed up with no where to go, because I was afraid to reach out to others, and be a true friend… Lets do lunch some time…
Mouthing the idea of helping, and not showing up.
Now I am ready to unburden myself of things, and make room more room for people. Extend myself.
Care, love, empathise, support like never before.

And yet, people call for you being “complex” and “profound” and “meaningful” and whataver the standard is these days.

Quite another in practice.

Simplify, organize and prioritize.

How much smoother will my life become as I put this into practice?