learn how to fight with my husband

its getting better as we grow older. especially as he is doing most of the maturing. so i just sit back and relax and let him do the gaining of patience and tolerance. and the developing of a hearing impairment. mwahahahah.

this morning i attacked my husband.

he was doing his passive aggressive thing. and that really gets me like nothing else.

he did not buy the morning bread because i do not know why. all i know is that he is unhappy with something, most likely something i did or did not do. he has done this before.

he was cheerfully ignoring me the whole time. and so i went on and on and on.

i went at it. did not throw plates though. i love my present set of plates. and the baby was sleeping still and when i am angry i do not want to carry the baby because i do not want him to feel my anger through my skin.

and maybe husband is learning to fight too. because this morning i was sort of “nagging” him about how he was handling an impending tantrum from son#2. and he did not talk back, miracles of miracles. he was totally silent, a non-belligerent kind of silent that filled me with so much gladness of heart.

we have not argued, bickered, fought in a LOONG time.

is this progress?

can this lead to ticking this goal off as “done”?

a terrible fight this morning. husband does not listen! i talk and he talks. i talk and he watches tv. he tells me he is listening but i want him to look at me and do nothing else when i talk to him.

i actually am learning. heheh. my husband and i used to have these terrible fights involving the throwing of things and harsh words and we would not speak to each other (mostly me not talking to him) for up to three days. they were totally useless, leading to resentment rather than to a resolution of the issues at hand. looking back, its amazing how those fights did not result in a separation.

i am finding out that if i present my issues to him in a manner that is not whining and accusatory, he is more receptive to them. i also notice that he tries to do the same with me. he’s not succeeding all the time—but then, neither am i. so that’s okay.

i’ve also learned to choose my battles and not to get upset over every little thing. he is not doing so well in this, i am afraid. he’s even much more OC about things than i am. the decision to make right now is this: do i just accept this trait of his or do i ask him to stop sweating the small stuff?