I finally finished this goal. It’s an eight week program that I’ve been working on since July. I didn’t do all of the exercises, but I did meditate every day for eight weeks. I didn’t count the weeks when I missed days so the full weeks are scattered across eight months. Now I have to establish a regular meditation routine that I can sustain for the long haul.

to get me into meditation. i did it abut 8 years ago, through kaiser, believe it or not. loved it. ironically, i now take yoga with his daughter, an amazing instructor.

Awareness

Bring yourself into the present moment by deliberately adopting an erect and dignified posture. If possible, close your eyes. Then ask:

“What is my experience right now …in thoughts…in feelings…and in bodily sensations?

Acknowledge and register your experience, even if it is unwanted.

Gathering

Then, gently redirect full attention to breathing, to each inbreath, and to each outbreath as they follow, one after the other.

Your breath can function as an anchor to bring you into the present and help you tune into a state of awareness and stillness.

Expanding

Expand the field of your awareness around your breathing, so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression.

The breathing space provides a way to step out of automatic pilot mode and reconnect with the present moment

The key skill in using MBCT is to maintain awareness in the moment. Nothing else.

from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)

The advantages of awareness, acceptance, and mindfully responding to situations rather than immediately running off preprogrammed, “automatic” reactions has been a recurring theme throughout this course.

Acceptance may often be the springboard to some form of skillful action directed at achieving change in participants’ inner or outer worlds. However, there are also situations and feelings that it may be very difficult, or actually impossible, to change. In this situation, there is the danger that, by carrying on, trying to solve an insoluble problem, or by refusing to accept the reality of the situation one is in, one may end up “banging one’s head on a brick wall,” exhausting oneself, and actually increasing one’s sense of helplessness and depression. In these situations, you can still retain some sense of dignity and control by making a conscious, mindful, decision not to attempt to exert control and to accept the situation as it is, if possible, with a kindly attitude to the situation and your reactions to it. Choosing not to act is much less likely to increase depression than being forced to give up attempts at control after repeated failures.

In the so-called “Serenity Prayer,” we ask for the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

Where do we find this grace, this courage, this wisdom? At some level, we already have all of these qualities – our task is to realize them (make them real), and our way is none other than moment-by-moment mindful awareness.

The Future

Remember Jon Kabat-Zinn’s advice to weave your parachute every day, rather than leave it to the time you have to jump from the plane!

Decide, right now, what your regular pattern of practice will be over the next weeks, until we meet again, and stick to it as best you can throughout this period. Note any difficulties that you have, so that we can discuss them next time.

Also, remember that the regular breathing space practice provides a way of “checking in with yourself” a few times a day. Let it also be your first response in times of difficulty, stress, or unhappiness—KEEP BREATHING!

^{from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)}

1. Practice mindfulness of the breath, as described earlier, for 10-15 minutes.
   
   
2. When you feel reasonably settled on awareness of the breath, intentionally allow the awareness to expand around the breath to include, as well, a sense of physical sensations throughout the whole body. While still aware, in the background, of the movements of the breath in the lower abdomen, change your primary focus, so that you become aware of a sense of the body as a whole and of the changing patterns of sensation throughout the body. You may find that you get a sense of the movements of the breath throughout the body, as if the whole body were breathing.
   
   
3. If you choose, together with this wider sense of the body as a whole, and of the breath moving to and fro, include awareness of the more local, particular patterns of physical sensations that arise where the body makes contact with the floor, chair, cushion, or stool – the sensations of touch, pressure, or contact of the feet or knees with the floor; the buttocks with whatever supports them; the hands where they rest on the thighs, or on each other. As best you can, hold all these sensations, together with the sense of the breath and of the body as a whole, in a wider space of awareness of physical sensations.
   
   
4. The mind will wander repeatedly away from the breath and body sensations – this is natural, to be expected, and in no way a mistake or a failure. Whenever you notice that your awareness has drifted away from sensations in the body, you might want to congratulate yourself; you have “woken up.” Gently note where your mind was (“thinking”), and kindly focus your attention back to your breathing and to a sense of your body as a whole.
   
   
5. As best you can, keep things simple, gently attending to the actuality of sensations throughout your body from one moment to the next.
   
   
6. As you sit, some sensations may be particularly intense, such as pains in the back or knees or shoulders, and you may find that awareness is repeatedly drawn to these sensations, and away from your intended focus on the breath or body as a whole. You may want to use these times to experiment with intentionally bringing the focus of awareness into the region of intensity and, as best you can, explore with gentle and wise attention the detailed pattern of sensations there: What, precisely, do the sensations feel like? Where exactly are they? Do they vary over time or from one part of the region of intensity to another? Not so much thinking about it, as just feeling it, you may want to use the breath as a vehicle to carry awareness into such regions of intensity, “breathing in” to them, just as in the body scan.
   
   
7. Whenever you find yourself “carried away” from awareness in the moment by the intensity of physical sensations, or in any other way, reconnect with the here and now by refocusing awareness on the movements of the breath or on a sense of the body as a whole. Once you have gathered yourself in this way, allow the awareness to expand once more, so it includes a sense of sensations throughout the body.

^{from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)}

1. Decide on a routine of meditation that I can stick to for the next five weeks. Do it this week.
   
   
2. Practice the Three Minute Breathing Space three times a day at times that I decide in advance. Record it in my journal
   
   
3. Practice the Three Minute Breathing Space whenever I notice unpleasant feelings. Record it in my journal.
   
   

What are your warning signals that depression might be trying to take hold again (e.g. becoming irritable; decreased social contact -just “not wanting to see people”; changes in sleeping habits; changing in eating habits; getting easily exhausted; giving up on exercise; not wanting to deal with business such as opening mail, paying bills, etc.; postponing deadlines)?

Set up an Early Warning System write down the changes that you should look out for (if it feels comfortable, include those with whom you share your life in a collaborative effort to notice and then to respond rather than to react to these signs).

Write down suggestions to yourself for an Action Plan that you can use as a framework for coping action, once you or your friends/family have noticed early warning signs (remember to address the frame of mind that you will be in at the time, e.g., “I know you probably will not be keen on this idea but I think that, nonetheless, it is very important that you …”). For example, you might put on a yoga, body scan, or mindfulness recording; remind yourself of what you learned during the class that was helpful then; take frequent breathing spaces leading into thought review or considered action; read something that will “reconnect” you with your “wiser” mind, and so on.

It may be helpful to remind yourself that what you need at times of difficulty is no different from what you have already practiced many times throughout this course.

from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)

Sometimes you may find that depression comes out of the blue. For example, you may wake up feeling tired and listless, with hopeless thoughts going through your mind.

When this happens, it may be useful for you to tell yourself, “Just because I am depressed now does not mean that I have to stay depressed.“

When things come out of the blue like this, they set off negative ways of thinking in everyone.

If you have been depressed in the past, it will tend to trigger old habits of thought that may be particularly damaging: full of overgeneralizations, predictions that this will go on forever; and “back to square one” thinking. All of these ways of making sense of what is happening to you will tend to undermine your taking any action.

Ask yourself, “What can I do to look after myself to get me through this low period?”

Take a breathing space to help gather yourself. This may help you see your situation from a wider perspective. This wider perspectivee allows you to become aware of both the pull of the old habits of thinking and what skillful action you might take.

What we actually do with our time from moment to moment, from hour to hour, from one year to the next, can be a very powerful influence affecting our general well-being and our ability to deal skillfully with depression.

You might like to try asking yourself these questions:

1. Of the things that I do, what nourishes me, what increases my sense of actually being alive and present rather than merely existing? ( up activities)
   
   
2. Of the things I do, what drains me, what decreases my sense of actually being alive and present, what makes me feel I am merely existing, or worse? (down activities)
   
   

By being actually present in more of our moments and making mindful decisions about what we really need in each of those moments, we can use activity to become more aware and alert, and to regulate mood.

This is true for dealing with both the regular pattern of our daily lives and periods of low mood that may lead to depression -we can use acivity to become more aware and alert, and to regulate mood.

This is true for dealing with both the regular pattern of our daily lives and periods of low mood that may lead to a depression -we can use our day-by-day experience to discover and cultivate activities that we can use as tools to cope with periods of worsening mood. Having these tools already available means that we will be more likely to persist with them in the face of negative thoughts such as “Why bother with anything?” that are simply part of the territory of depressed mood.

For example, one of the simplest ways to take care of your physical and mental well-being is to take daily physical exercise -as a minimum, aim for three brisk, 10-minute walks a day and also, if at all possible, other types of exercise, such as mindful stretching, yoga, swimming, jogging, and so on. Once exercise is in your daily routine, it is a readily available response to depressed moods as they arise.

The breathing space provides a way to remind us to use activity to deal with unpleasant feelings as they arise.

Using the Breathing Space: The Action Step

After reconnecting with an expanded awareness in the breathing space, it may feel appropriate to take some considered action. In dealing with depressed feelings, the following activities may be particularly helpful:

1. Do something pleasurable.
2. Do something that will give you a sense of satisfaction or mastery
3. Act mindfully

Ask yourself: What do I need for myself right now? How can I best take care of myself right now?

Try some of the following

1. Do something pleasurable

Be kind to your body: Have a nice hot bath; have a nap; treat yourself to your favorite food without feeling guilty; have your favorite hot drink; give yourself a facial or manicure.

Engage in enjoyable activities: Go for a walk (maybe with the dog or a friend); visit a friend; do your favorite hobby; do some gardening; take some exercise; phone a friend; spend time with someone you like; cook a meal; go shopping; watch something funny or uplifting on TV; read something that gives you pleasure; listen to music that makes you feel goo.

2 Do something that gives you a sense of mastery, satisfaction, achievement, or control.

Clean the house; clear out a cupboard or drawer; catch up with letter writing; do some work; pay a bill; do something that you have been putting off doing; take some exercise; (it’s especially important to congratulate yourself whenever you complete a task or part of a task and to break tasks down into smaller steps and only tackle one step at a time.)

3. Act Mindfully

Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now; keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present (e.g. “Now I am walking down the stairs…now I can feel the bannister beneath my my hand…now I’m walking into the kitchen…now I’m turning on the light…”); be aware of y our breathing as you do other things; be aware of the contact of your feet with the floor as you walk.

Remember

1. Try to perform your action as an experiment. Try not to prejudge how you will feel after it is completed. Keep an open mind about whether doing this will be helpful in any way.
   
   
2. Consider a range of activities and don’t limit yourself to a favorite few. Sometimes, trying new behaviors can be interesting in itself. “Exploring” and “inquiring” often work against “withdrawal” and “retreat.”
   
   
3. Don’t expect miracles. Try to carry out what you have planned as best you can. Putting extra pressure on yourself by expecting this to alter things dramatically may be unrealistic. Rather, activities are helpful in building your overall sense of control in the face of shifts in your mood.

from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)

I

It is remarkable how liberating it feels to be able to see that your thoughts are just thoughts and not “you” or “reality.” For instance, if you have the thought that you must get a certain number of things done today and you don’t recognize it as a thought, but act as if it’s “the truth,” then you have created in that moment a reality in which you really believe that those things must all be done today.

One patient, Peter, who’d had a heart attack and wanted to prevent another one, came to a dramatic realization of this one night, when he found himself washing his car at 10 o’clock at night with the floodlights on in the driveway. It struck him that he didn’t have to be doing this. It was just the inevitable result of a whole day spent trying to fit everything in that he thought needed doing today. As he saw what he was doing to himself, he also saw that he had been unable to question the truth of his original conviction that everything had to get done today, because he was already so completely caught up in believing it.

If you find yourself behaving in similar ways, it is likely that you will also feel driven, tense, and anxious without even knowing why, just as Peter did. So if the thought of how much you have to get done today comes up while you are meditating, you will have to be very attentive to it as a thought or you may be up and doing things before you know it, without any awareness that you decided to stop sitting simply because a thought came through your mind.

On the other hand, when such a thought comes up, if you are able to step back from it and see it clearly, then you will be able to prioritize things and make sensible decisions about what really does need doing. You will know when to call it quits during the day. So the simple act of recognizing your thoughts as thoughts can free you from the distorted reality they often create and allow for more clear-sightedness and a greater sense of manageability in your life.

This liberation from the tyranny of the thinking mind comes directly out of the mediation practice itself. When we spend some time each day in a state of nondoing, observing the flow of the breath and the activity of our mind and body, without getting caught up in that activity, we are cultivating calmness and mindfulness hand in hand. As the mind develops stability and is less caught up in the content of thinking, we strengthen the mind’s ability to concentrate and to be calm. And if each time we recognize a thought as a thought when it arises and register its content and discern the strength of its hold on us and the accuracy of its content, then each time we let go of it and come back to our breathing and a sense of our body, we are strengthening mindfulness. We come to know ourselves better and become more accepting of ourselves, not as we would like to be, but as we actually are.

II

The thinking level of mind pervades our lives; consciously or unconsciously, we all spend much or most of our lives there. But meditation is a different process that does not involve discursive thought or reflection. Because meditation is not thought, through the continuous process of silent observation, new kinds of understanding emerge.

We do not need to fight with thoughts or struggle against them or judge them. Rather, we can simply choose not to follow the thoughts once we are aware that they have arisen.

When we lose ourselves in thought, identification is strong. Thought sweeps our mind and carries it away, and, in a very short time, we can be carried far indeed. We hop a train of association, not knowing that we hopped on, and certainly not knowing the destination. Somewhere down the line, we may wake up and realize that we have been thinking, that we have been taken for a ride. And when we step down from the train, it may be in a very different mental environment from where we jumped aboard.

Take a few moments right now to look directly at the thoughts arising in your mind. As an exercise, you might simply close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting in a cinema watching an empty screen. Simply wait for your thoughts to arise. Because you are not doing anything except waiting for thoughts to appear, you may become aware of them very quickly. What exactly are they? What happens to them? Thoughts are like magic displays that seem real when we are lost in them but then vanish upon inspection.

But what about the strong thoughts that affect us? We are watching, watching, watching, watching, then, all of a sudden—woosh!—We are gone, lost in a thought. What is that about? What are the mind states or the particular kinds of thoughts that catch us again and again, so that we forget that they are just empty phenomena passing on?

It is amazing to observe how much power we give unknowingly to uninvited thoughts: “Do this, say that, remember, plan, obsess, judge.” The have the potential to drive us quite crazy, and they often do!

The kinds of thoughts we have, and their impact on our lives, depend on our understanding of things. If we are in the clear, powerful space of just seeing thoughts arise and pass, then it does not really matter what kind of thinking appears in the mind; we can see our thoughts as the passing show that they are.

From thoughts come actions. From actions come all sorts of consequences. In which thoughts will we invest? Our great task is to see them clearly, so that we can choose which ones to act on and which to simply let be.

from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)

1. Meditate every day for an hour
   
   
2. Practice the Three Minute Breathing Space three times a day at times that I decide in advance. Record it in my journal
   
   
3. Practice the Three Minute Breathing Space whenever I notice unpleasant feelings. Record it in my journal.
   
   
4. Note situations in which you use the breath as an anchor to handle the situation as it is happening, and situations in which you use the mindfulness practice to deal with the issues later.

from Segal, Williams, and Teasdale Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression (2002)