Post rants about what's on my mind today and invite comments from you all.

^{So I’m having this big Halloween party this year and loads of folk from school are coming. What really fucks me off about this is the idea of people who bitch and moan about me and tell everyone they hate me expecting to buy a ticket from me with not a problem. When I refuse to sell them a ticket they go and take a wee hissy fit.
Now why would anyone in their right mind want to attend something the person they loath is attending? It makes no sense.
It’s fucking stupid and gets me so ragin’!}

After reading this this I hope John Key grows some balls and tells Obama to get some one else for his war. If we don’t America won’t be our ally anymore.
I fail to see a downside. We signed on to international warcrimes court, so pretty much we’re fucked if amnesty international ever gets round to bringing a case against the invasion of either Iraq or Afghanistan. Plus given how the war in Iraq’s going and the Afghans natural tenacity to fight I think this war’s going make Vietnam look like a fairy tale.

The reason Obama needs us more than ever now is cos he’s stopped paying christian Crusaders and Sunni guerrillas to fight Al Queda for them.
The threats if we don’t send the SAS back in is that they may not protect us if we get attacked, like we were protected in
eightyfive or they won’t come help when we get caught in a natural disaster, after seeing what their government does for it’s own citizens in New Orleans I don’t really think that’s much of a threat either. The only real threat left is economic, same as the french used in ’85, and George Jnr used to get us to go into Iraq.

As yet the free trade every president since George senior promised us has yet to materialise, of course we don’t charge tariffs on their stuff coming here just the other way around. Guess that whole no nukes thing sticks in the craw a bit aye?

Until we can be sure that we won’t be party to the commission of war crimes, hiding nukes for them and restarting some other insane war that had ended five hundred years ago why would we want to be their allies, it’s not like the let us have any cheap oil.

I’m not coming here for a while, see I can’t kick people for saying dumb shit, they can’t kick me but maybe I should say things to peoples faces instead of over the net. Maybe we all should, actually talk to actual people, face to face. Cos I read some stuff you’d get bottled for saying about anybody where I grew up (bottled is like it sounds, a 750 glass beer bottle gets broken on your head, sometimes the broken bit is trust at your throat, it’s best to fall down and play dead when they first hit you).

This is really me talking to myself, No I”m talking to other people as well, angry people I know where you’re coming from, that’s why I don’t want read your shit.This siter should be about support not insults and picking fights. You want a fight I’m sure there’s a place a few blocks away that can help you go to a bar, insult the culture of some one in the room. Go have a real fight not with words but where you might die. Cos unless you’re prepared to die for what you say then shut the fuck up. Be men and women not children speak your mind to guy in the street see what fucking happens.

I’ve been avoiding this, but my own feelings are pretty toxic and what you hold inside corrodes you if don’t dump it. So he fucking pulled his cards and kicked the bucket with the aid of an electric cord around a garage rafter. His ex looks like a bus took her soul away and there’s just a zombie left but my eye sees her dialated pupils and sunken cheeks, she looks like a super model in her tight black dress. All the boys are noticing now funny about a smack habit it always gives before it takes away. She’s dead already, I know enough to leave her dead if by some random act of courage she asks for some help I’ll drag her down to outbuildings by Knox church and let the group welcome her to ranks of born again fuck ups.

My ex gives me a hug, she wants me to be a mess so she can patch me up and thus avoid what she’s actually feeling, I’d oblige but she’d shit kittens if she heard what I’m really thinking. My bro is drunk as an irishman on st pats so I miss the funeral, he’s got my back at least cos sitting there listening to his family piss on about how sad it all is would make me spew worse than him. The taxi driver threw us out but he’s lucky i didn’t smack his face in, not cos he deserves it, life ain’t designed to be fair. I get the boy in his door around the time they all decide the families too hostile so they’re coming to some pub opened six months ago in Roslyn. I start walking

It’s one of those wanky modern concrete and glass boxes with packed with middle class liberal wankers. “why the fuck are you here?” “nice to see you too vodka breath, hows your fucked up ex?” she’s laughing on the inside, trying and failing to stifle any sign least I think I’m actually hitting a nerve “yeah we even took bets on who’d die first” “was I leading?” “Col you weren’t even a runner, you’re already fucking dead, you died at fifteen been a walking corpse ever since” I don’t bother hiding my mirth at that, it’s too fucking funny for words. About now my ex figure me and her mate have been alone long enough and weighs in with some shit how the boy is, I could give a fuck. i go order eight shots of tequila and a flat white, I know they’ll buy me alcohol not coffee, it’s who they are.

By the time I’ve finished my coffee there’s two of us not drinking, My ex is trying to set me on fire with a look, I’m looking as innocent as possible, straight back. Strange how no one really cares about dead, and we fucking loved that boy, No one will ever know how much each of us tried. I text my mate, she’s home got the living in hand, he wants me to come round, thing is I’m halfway into something be fucked if I’m coming alone.

By the time we raid a bottle store our number’s dropped a few, the pace on top of the death is catching up. We enter a house to discover the hosts are upstairs, “make yourselves at home and fuck’s sake stay down there!” I’m impressed, still a capacity for piss that kill lesser men is about his only really admirable attribute these days.

audience of one is on replay cos apparently he loved that song. herion girl is nodding again and the ex trying to keep her awake, back peddling trying to keep up appearances. I just realized she needs to be mad at something, to nut out and have good yell, maybe smash some one. My mate tumbles down the stairs, red faced with a massive shit eating grin. We take over the stereo and play ride the lightening cos we think he liked that better. We have become one, he is the noise I am the action, he makes decisions I make them happen, he fails to notice there’s no actual bourbon in his glass just coke, or if he does he’s a better actor than i give credit for. fade to black kicks in around the time I head for a leak, upstairs next to the spare room. She’s less than fifteen seconds behind me, mouth hot on mine the we taste like tobacco and stale wine

and finally I get to feel something.

See you can go along sucking up for the sake of every one else but the moment you let go it owns you. I can’t feel bad he’s dead, cos the moment all my respect for him ceased. I’ve survived two close mates killing themselves, also five went over a bridge while drunk driving and drowned in river, one ODed, and another kid I went to school slammed his car into a power pole while drunk, he’s now in a wheel chair. It means fuck all cos I have friend to get off hard drugs, another one who drinks way too much an ex who’s about thirty seconds away from exploding and doing fuck knows what, she also has a toddler to take care of on her own. I can’t save them if i can’t save myself and can’t save myself if I’m obsessed with a dead guy And what selfish little fuck he is pushing us all to this.

I was watching the news this morning and the business guy was banging on about how the US introducing new subsidies for farmers in retaliation for EU subsidies for their farmers and the commentator said “Yes this is certainly very bad news for us because as you know farming is our main export industry and we’re stern supporters of the free market” and I wanted to beat him over the head, one those moments I’m hard to go outside and smoke a cigarette just to swallow down the urge to throw the TV out the window.

The recent reaction to the “Bonnie and Clyde” pair who bolted with the bank’s money and the fact that both talk back and national radio (ie the right and the left) are supporting them, albeit tongue in cheek, shows the economic values of the population are most certainly not with the free market CEOs.

Mass revulsion at the undemocratic travesty of appointing a board of directors to run the Auckland ‘Supercity’ council and in the process disenfranchising the peripheral councils. All who are run by labor or Green allied councilors with National/Act allined ACR only holding the central city. Yet we all know these are the bastards who’re going run the city long term.

However the trade wars won’t be fought by us, the reason we export food and not much else is cos in the eighties and nineties the dirt was the only that couldn’t be shipped to a third world country so it was only industry that didn’t get sold off and exported. It’s only a matter of time before China throws out some tariffs and we’ll be fucked.

It amazes me that even after all this economists cling to Keynesian theories like a life raft despite the evidence that it’s become a weight drowning the working class as the EU and US regimes are now tactically admitting. The Nat’s are still surfing a public opinion high mainly cos we were sick of Auntie Helen and her school teachers nanny state social engineering. Now these traders and farmers in suits are about to deliver a budget based on a set of arcane academic principles that caused the last depression and took fifty years till the big economies got round to trying again.

And like Roosevelt, Chamberlain and Stalin did in the thirties the big economies are shying away from disastrous Keynesian theories by shutting the borders and saving their own regimes with trade restrictions and subsidies aimed at protecting their own economies at the expense of imports. The third world will starve same as last week, same as next week, our only hope is second tier in Asia will keep buying our high food miles butter and selling us cheap plastic crap at bargain basement prices. Failing that we could start exporting drugs about only thing other than food we’re still good making.

This is gonna be pretty random, I had this whole thing about how now Obama is prez metal and punk loose some of their cohesion, become a bit schizoid cos it’s harder to attack a democrat from the left, while right stays the course of hating all governments. But i was pondering this while these people came up to talk to me, I love gigs full of die hard metal fans. We are tribal bunch I’m a part of the tribe, I forget that I can ramble about shit and even when they’re bored with my rambles they’ll “come hit the mosh pit with us” but getting ditched just doesn’t happen and when I say something profound they actually listen.

Amendment 92a is not looking like it’s going to be enforced. Much as a result of internet campaigns as from the fact that very few people actually support this legislation only a handful of big business copyright holders. The ISPs and these handful of business concerns can’t seem to get their shit and come up with a workable code of practice so Johnie boy just suspended the legislation indefinitely. You can guarantee that where ever we go from the creative freedom foundation, face book, bebo and where ever else people go on the net the new legislation will be aired and examined by the people before the government can implement it. They ignore the referendums on tougher laws, refuse one’s on prostitution, drug, or driving law reforms but this time we may’ve actually been heard. Who said democracy was dead it’s just hiding on the internet.

we all know it’s coming, like a huge ship sliding out of control it’s gonna swamp us. I watch them back peddle, kiss up, save their own arses and the arses of their sons. Save the company for the promised ones. While we take the only road we know, we work. Head down arse up mouth shut like good little lambs. The back peddlers point the finger at us, our fault, no one likes us anyways, the most unpopular crew out there. tried and convicted before our boss even woke up and saw the ship was out of control. He acted like head down arse up was save us, cos it’s how he was taught to be. It’s all he knows, work hard some one will notice, some one will care right? I know better, as I sit in the office the first of twenty five, they got me up there to be the very first. I take joy in being paid to not come to work anymore. In turning up every fucking day watching my boss take shit and eat it from every one. I take on as much as I can plus all the shit they throw at me, and I shut my mouth and work.

In the end they couldn’t break me the company paid me to go away, I tell the fuckhead in the suit this is how it is, that he’ll still be laying people off while I’m about to be off the planet with a head full of class A, that his company paid for. I look at him and wonder if the revolution ever actually comes one day could I put this man against a wall and shoot him?

He expects the class A drugs, but I’m far from chipping out today I just don’t care about a fucking wage slave enough to give up pieces of my soul for these bastards. I tell him I’ll be wasted cos it pisses him off. Try as he might he couldn’t fire me, I gave him plenty of reasons but none off them would stick. I feel bad for this man.

He’s a capitalist, trained to believe company’s should always grow and expand, take on new staff, get new contracts. Company’s are not meant to retract, lay off good staff so nepotists can save spaces for average staff. He’s worked hard to reach the top a few years in a top job and he has to turn around and lay off good staff shrink his company and be told by twenty five people what a fuckwit he is. I give a morally justifiable reason to hate just one those people, the first one he laid off, I hope it sustains him through his day.

As I stand watching my old crew, at least what’s left of it, me and my mate take assessment. They’re staying, we’re going, my boss is trying tell us he should be gone we should stay, we followed him and he losses his crew but gets shunted sideways while we take the hit. My mate is pissed, I’m in shock is that I forsaw this joke I made about five days ago, not such a smart arse now are you Colin? Or that my boss actually believed what he was doing was going to help.

They asked for suggestions, we were the ones the workers suggested should be laid off. I knew the pricks hated me they showed it often enough, I’m shocked the three guys who’re staying are surprised how how it went down. More so they have to come to work knowing the rest of the place wanted them punished and got their mate’s booted out. I get off easy, cos I can live of the smell of an oily rag, yet my mate . . . um . . . yeah he just lost his job we won’t fuck with him right now.

Three days on I remember a day, stinking hot like the weather is now, twenty sevens tonnes of hot sticky ashplat wheelbarrowed, laid, compacted. Five guys working like dogs heat, sweat, slipping over each other burning each with hot rakes or running over each other with wheel barrow wheels sometimes accidental some times on purpose just to fuck with each other. We’re standing at the end of one hell of a hard days work and seeing in front of us a completed footpath. That thing in the back of my throat, that’s fucking pride and they can take the rest the but that I’m keeping the pride son.

Those Born 1930-1979!

TO ALL THE KIDSWHO SURVIVED the
1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day.
We had no cellphones, PSPs, or Ipods, and the only blackberries we saw were the wild ones we picked and ate from bushes along the sides of the road.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the blackberry bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…....
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given air rifles or BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Rugby teams and school athletics had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
We played full contact bullrush and teachers didn’t suspend us for it. If we were bad we got the strap or the cane if we were real bad we got expelled not stood down. We didn’t have school counselors.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave(and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

You tell yourself you’ll never do it, cross that line again, till the day you get bored and snort the fucking thing off your new second hand strange days DVD cover cos it’s one of those hard plastic non-recyclable fossil fuel buggers. For years you tell yourself you’ll never do that! cos it’s been done to you, and no one deserves that esteem crushing sense of rejection and betrayal no matter how distant and selfish they’re acting ‘specially not her, in fact she’s the best ever, of the five people who’ve been silly enough to say they loved you she is the only who actually means it, cos she say’s it straight and sober and she doesn’t lie about that shit, sure it may not be epic but it’s comfortable it’s safe and the sex is good, you tell yourself you’ll never have to seduce anyone else cos this is it,your life, Till the day you wake up in a strange bed and realize it’s not anymore and the reason is lying right beside you. You tell yourself you’ll never lie to your family again, inspite of the disapproval and rejection till out of the blue you say “sure I’m gonna go back, finish ma degree, pay off ma debts by gettin a “real job” Buy a house wid a white pickit fence marry a smart pretty woman from a good family n pump out da requisite grand kids while never again doing anythin even remotely embarrassing to any of you cos you all tried so hard to make me normal it’s the least I can do” This lasts as long as a semester when you now have to decide just how bad to fuck up so they’ll know you failed and that degree’s still not finished!, or you tell the truth which they think is actually the lie cos they prefer failure to you rejecting their values in the first place. You know this job’s important, these guys like you in their crew, in fact your last sick day the crew fell apart, those little things no one ever sees didn’t get done, time wasted,the company lost money, your boss got reamed for his disorganization which he credits to your organization being absent, they give you a pay rise, inspite of the fact they call you a queer cunt behind your back and suggest on a regular basis that you must be on drugs and should get piss tested, the crew defend you against these attacks so you pay them back with “wha’da ya mean I kint drive da truck unda da influence’a class A, sounds like a fuckin challenge ta me” this job matters to you cos they gave a multiple fuck up yet another chance at fucking up, the family matters cos they spawned and raised you, SHE matters cos she said things no one else ever has, it all matters cos it’s your life . . . till one day it doesn’t, nothing matters to you, we’re all on the way out anyway so act accordingly and party up cos you’re living in the fall of Rome, cos after a long enough time period being you just go fuck it, so be it, I am a disappointment, I am unable to commit to a relationship, I am a flake who can’t hold a job, I am an addict, I am a fucking P-head, not recovering, not even pretending to be clean and sober just riding the rush all the way down the rabbit hole, I am a product of my environment, I am your shit and you should ashamed of what you have eaten.

You think this, then you don’t, you practice fucking up, till you don’t, tell yourself it’s how it is, till it isn’t anymore. Do these things, don’t do em, either way no one gives a shit anymore, what you do is wait one more day, cos that line’s still there sitting on the DVD cover waiting to be crossed, and you’re to lazy to get up and make a fuckin tube.