speak up

I guess ‘giving up’ is the only option I have for that. It’s only because I do not have to deal with this kind of thing on a regular basis so it’s very difficult to keep tabs on it. It does not form a huge part of my identity as the frustration isn’t a daily occurance but when it happens, it’s annoying. So…HOLD.

God, I could have intervened here but I didn’t. I just overheard a conversation that annoyed the f~k out of me because it was littered with BS! I don’t know why I don’t say anything but sometimes I guess I think you have to be civilised. I think that if I am going to criticise attitudes when i’m with ‘friends’ or in my music, I should also take a proactive attitude towards challenging opinions when I come across them too. This is a very difficult goal!

but I chose this one because it is all ultimately about speaking up. I’m quite a good defender of myself actually but often if someone comments about something and I disagree with it (especially if they’re passionate about it or angry), I don’t really bother speaking up, primarily because I don’t need to. If I don’t need to do something, I will not do it. My thinking is usually ‘this person isn’t important to me and they won’t be a big part of my life so I don’t need to bother having any kind of discussion or debate with them’. I also tend to only speak when I am very angry about something. To make an effort, a situation needs to feel like it’s life or death. Expressing my views is better than experiencing the frustration of not having expressed myself properly, however. I actually have quite a great feeling of compulsiveness to open my mouth and express my views. It’s a big pushing feeling but I repress it.

I didn’t really expect to be thinking about things like relationships with people this year. It’s not my main goal – getting my album together, being more ‘professional’/grown up and speaking languages are my main goals but I guess 2/3rds of those express a desire for communication. Everything seems to be heading in that direction whether I like it or not. I am not an open person and I am not exactly looking to form close relationships but I think this kind of honesty is important in breaking barriers down between me and other people. I will be selective about what I choose to express, however, as I tend to disagree with everyone on almost everything. It’s odd how I am not a people person and yet everything I want to do is getting me closer to people. Maybe I fear honesty because it leads me closer to intimacy. If you give yourself a voice, people notice you. Being noticed/not being noticed is also an issue for me.

I guess I chose this goal because it’s getting to the point where I am becoming more and more confident and I have really ceased to put people up on pedestals. It’s always been the case where frustration has lead me to change direction or habit and it will probably be the thing that leads me to be honest.

Actually, I think i’ve found the one main reason for repressing my opinions: it’s that when people come to you to moan or complain
or even bitch, they are looking for support/a community. I really sense that and by listening or agreeing it does to some extent (in ‘social code’)say ‘I support you’. I either need to find a way of supporting the person without it affecting me speaking up or I need to not take on such a heavy social responsibility.

want to speak up rather than others to understand it by themselves.
i have faced a lot of problems cos of that. i have compromised with my career jus cos i wanted my dad to understand my silence wvch he didnt. but now i know that i need to speak up for my things…cant wait for them to understand wats in my heart…

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’ t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Here’s what I told my boundary-violating coworker:

“Your standing over me and shrieking ‘GET OUT!’ is inappropriate behavior. And somehow I cannot picture you treating anyone else on the team with such hostility and disrespect. It is not acceptable for you to talk to me that way either, so please kindly restrain yourself in the future.”

Sometimes I don’t say things because I don’t know how the other individual may feel about the topic or your opinions. But… in the end, you can’t please everyone. If they are truly your friend, they’ll respect your opinions, and no hard feelings.

Okay so sometimes I get really mad… Someone will be making fun of one of my friends, or doing something irritating/stupid, or be harassing me. And I keep my mouth shut, and hold it in… the adrenaline rush that comes with the thought of speaking up in those situations is too much for me. but I always really regret not saying anything.

i hate sitting around listening to everyone speak when i know that i have something to say but hardly ever if ever let it out…it would feel amazing to just blurt it out once in a while…when i don’t say anything it makes me feel like shit! and it makes me pissed off at the people that won’t shut up! not cool! :)

I NEED TO SPEAK MY MIND MORE OFTEN!! i’m tired of keeping my mouth shut because I fear what the reaction will be from someone.