Have more self discipline

I started reading, highlighting and taking notes on a five part self-improvement series/ blog on self discipline. It is very interesting… useful ideas. I figure that there must be more I am not understanding about it, since I suck in the self-discipline dept. So, I am trying to read other’s words of wisdom in hopes of becoming better at it. Two parts of the series down, three more to go.

I figure that with self discipline, I can achieve anything. And I have a huge list of what I need to achieve, and a fear that I am incapable of having any self discipline. So, I am going to make a conscious effort, every day to be disciplined. For the past month, I have written down all of my hours at work, and what I make in tips every day. I am amazed at myself that I have followed through in doing something consistantly on a daily basis… and i think improving my self confidence that I CAN have self discipline is the key to having more of it. Does that make any sense at all?

I’m alright at this, especially when I’m accountable to someone else, but I could still use plenty more.

I always say I’m going to do stuff and never follow through. I’ll start working on discipline by making a daily to-do list and focusing my mind every day.

I accidentally pushed myself a little too hard today. I stayed outside longer than I should’ve and ended up having a sunstroke.

In short, it was terrifying.

I really need to start finding my limits. I never want to push myself that much again.

I definitely feel out of this. And then I went on vacation. So…yeah…

I’m really mad at myself. I’m gonna have to work twice as hard this week to make up for my extremely stupid laziness…siiiigh.

I’m watching the Olympic trials right now on NBC. The male divers are pretty hot…BUT that’s beside the point. :P

It’s sooo inspiring to watch them. How dedicated they all are. Even when they feel sore or accidentally screw up, they still get back up and do it again and proceed to kick ass. They really believe in themselves.

These are definitely the people I look up to. I can’t wait till the actual Olympics start (8/8/08!). I really think watching them will help me focus.

So today I’ve decided I really need to back off the guy I’m “seeing” right now. It’s complicated and I’m not going into it, but I really need to stop thinking about him.

And, for today, I think I did pretty well. I kept myself occupied, even tanned a little (and I haven’t intentionally tanned in a longgg time).

I guess I just have to remember when I get discouraged that I need to take it one step at a time. I’m not going to magically have amazing self-discipline.

Just take it slow…and slowly let go of the stupid boy.

I’m still keeping up with my work out schedule as best as I can and am noticing a difference.

But I’m still getting noticeably lazier with each passing day. I hate it. I hate that I can still convince myself that staying in the house and doing nothing is more favorable than getting out there and living.

I felt so much better after meditating outside…my dad’s fixed my bike up so I can cruise around the neighbor…why do I not feel the need to do any of these things earlier on in the day like I use to?!

I’m guessing it may have something to do with the fact that I’ve been in the habit of being lazy and staying up late for many many years. It’s going to take a lot to break that nasty habit. Ugh…

I have pretty much done horrible as far as improving my self-discipline. I’ve been staying up way too late, getting up way too late. I got myself to work out again today, but the air conditioner has been installed in my room for the past couple days. I could’ve started back up on like Wednesday, but I didn’t. And I don’t know why. It’s just easier to stay in bed and dream I guess.

Just cause it’s easier…doesn’t mean that it’s better. Cause it’s not. It’s way crappier and makes me feel worthless.

I’m very disappointed in myself. But I’m not giving up.