Find my home

so… i’ve been thinking about moving to vegas when i graduate. i’ve never been to the west coast and i have no clue what its like out there but a friend i have in new york is from there and he loved it. it’s not huge like new york yet there’s still a big enough seen and demand for photographers and LA is not too far away. hmm.. i need to visit, but when? i should graduate in may of 2009 so maybe new years this year????

I just want to land. I have been married 3 times. I have lost 3 houses. I am out of patience and out of time. I want to find home. Maybe its just me. I don’t know, but I need to find out.

I am living in a temporary situation – a 30 year old with a roommate – saving money and on my way out of this city. Now to figure out where I should go.

I was talking to one of the girls in my photo block who is from Maryland. Her and I both had (have)a hard time here and we seem to always be there when the other is struggling. it’s not like we cry on each other’s shoulder, but we see that the other one is having such a shitty time and that makes our time less shitty, if that makes sense. I like her. She’s a great photographer. But I mentioned that I wanted to go to D.C. and she offered to let me stay at her house. So… if things stay well between us, I may be going to D.C. for spring break. Maybe I’ll come one step closer to finding somewhere I belong.

what is “home”? i know i’m stealing this from garden state, but it makes me think. i dont feel at home anywhere. milwaukee is not home. new york is not home. chicago is not home. i dont feel like i belong anywhere. i felt like i belonged in mexico. it was inspiring. how could you not be moved to be creative in such a beautiful place?? i’m not sure if that is home either. i need to travel more, spend some more time in places before i can figure this out. i think i want to go to d.c. next. when? how?

It is where ever I am.

I can’t afford to live here anymore. It’s a constant struggle. I’m goin back home. All I need is internet! (and my dog) Okay I guess i dont need my dog.