find something to look forward to

after i lose another 30 pounds. i think it might be in 4 months…..

a while ago, when I was going through a bad patch and it was a particularly crap day at work, and wrote something terribly moany and not in the spirit of the goal at all! Right now though, things seem a lot better. The list currently includes:

• dinner tonight which I know will be fun
• the champagne tasting on Thursday, which should be great! G, my brother and my ace SiL are all going too
• seeing LA next weekend
• the trip up Big Ben
• seeing D and M again and hopefully being more relaxed this time
• other wine tastings including the brilliant Christmas one
• a Dark and Stormy evening with Moose at some point
• going home for Christmas and seeing the needy cats (might try to go home before then actually, as I haven’t been home since the end of August)
• going to Burgundy in the new year

Enough to be going on with :)

a big fat nothing.

... who says that we should live our every day having something to look forward to. He’s the most positive and optimistic person I know, and he seems to be permanently drenched in joie de vivre.
_{I’ve often wondered, HTF does he do it??? Is it a learned behavior or is it in the genes? His mom is also the same, but this doesn’t help very much, does it?}

Anyway, when I saw this goal I knew I had to adopt it. I’m sure I’ll mess it up along the way, but for now I’m soooo enthusiastic!

I’ve been a miserable cow and have a sense that nothing nice or fun is happening in my life and that I’m plodding from one dreary day to the next with nothing nice to look forward to ever again.

This is clearly not an accurate version of events, so this goal is about remembering the things I am looking forward to.

Happening soon

• seeing AM of sprog fame on Saturday. She’s one of my favourite people and I’m very happy that despite my non-sprogged-up state, we still manage to see each other occasionally
• seeing Moose and Cate on Monday. I am really looking forward to this, haven’t seen Cate since Moose’s picnic!
• going on the club crawl next week

Happening in a while

• holiday with family in Southwold at the end of September (beach huts!)
• going up Big Ben with family in November

Right now I can’t think of anything else to put on either list. I am doing other things, but am not all that excited about them. The wine-tasting this evening, for example, I don’t really know why I’m going, it’s a pain to get there and a pain to get back and there’ll be pressure to go for a curry afterwards and I’ll have to be anti-social and say I don’t want to because if I do then I’ll immediately put on 3 pounds.

Likewise my upcoming trip to Oxford – will be nice to see my friend and her cat and to go to the concert at the Sheldonian but again it’s quite an effort to get there and I can never think of anything to talk to her about and we always end up having the same conversations.

Then there’s the trip to the theatre I’m trying to organise. The mistake here was to include G on the invitation as he said he could only do weekends and then in the next sentence said he was going to be away pretty much every weekend between now and 12th Sept and guess when the bloody thing ends. My other friends have shown their typically-lacklustre response to my invitation along the lines of “why not” and the whole thing leaves me wondering why I bother.

Then, to top it off, I start feeling guilty that I’m not really looking forward to doing these things!

I don’t know what this equivocation and lack of enthusiasm says about my state of mind.

_{argh this was supposed to be a happy goal. maybe the joie de vivre will return one day}

surgery was yesterday. i am very sore today, so it’s all about resting.

green day next week, surgery a few days later, time off and sleep.

to the Green Day concert,
and then getting my surgery over with.
i am looking forward to resting. i need the rest.

GREEN DAY in july.

i need to find something to look forward to, other than quitting time, bed time, fridays.