Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I will
1 day ago
see her on 25 December, Christmas Day! smile
(“the good lord willin’ & the creek don’ rise”)
How to visit my grandma
It made me
desperate 
"Good and bad"
How I did it: When my grandmother dies, I won't come back here. It's odd to think that I won't come back here at all.
Prince Albert is filled with a quiet desparation. When I tell my mother that, she grew up here, she doesn't see it. She sees how much it's changed.
But I see it in the faces of the people who all seem trying to be happy. It's strange though how on the flip side, the people here are also very, very REAL.
There's a sense that there is a lot going on just under the surface. But it feels like a swamp: dark and boggy.
I have two reoccuring dreams. In one of them I find myself near a "dead lake" a lake with no incoming or outgoing water. But despite that, perhaps it is spring fed, the lake is clear. I can see down and there are trees, big trees under the water. There are snags, birch snags in the water but standing out of it. Like dead little Christmas trees. The sky is blue and it's very bright around. And I'm all alone.
It feels like somewhere I've been before and I wonder, looking at the birch trees outside my grandma's window, if it isn't something I've seen around here.
My grandma's room is in the wing of a nursing home that looks like every other wing. If you were trying to navigate by looks alone -- you'd never find your way back. Her room faces a little courtyard that has one skinny white birch tree. It's a bit unfair to people with dementia to make every common area look the same.
A few months after she moved into the nursing home, on a blustery fall day, a plastic bag got stuck in that tree.
It's too high to get out without a ladder. It drives me crazy. Who would have thought when they abandoned that bag, that for three years I'd stare at it and hate its very existence?
But last year some birds built a nest in the crook of that tree, right under the plastic bag. So my grandma stares at the nest all day and wonders if the birds will come back.
The bag, in her estimation, is good because when it rattles it tells the birds when someone is coming.
Lessons & tips: Do it now. Grandma's don't last forever -- no one does
Resources: Westjet flight!
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Entries
Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I will
1 month ago
next see my grandma (& other members of the family) in December, 2009; soon it’ll be time to start making plans for the trip.
Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I visited
8 months ago
my grandma (& other members of the family) in March of 2009; the visit went really well, I’m pleased to report. smile
Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I visited
8 months ago
my grandma (& other members of the family) in August of 2008; the visit actually went quite well, all things considered. smile
stephrn ready for the next adventure
Lunch
13 months ago
I had lunch with my grandma on Tuesday. I called her that morning and asked if she was free. It was nice to catch up with her.
DoctorTeeth says, "Oh Sky Cake, why are you so delicious?"
A bittersweet visit
14 months ago
My wife and I went out to visit my grandma because she couldn’t come out to our wedding last year, due to her poor health. So we decided to go out to visit her (and to be fair, the rest of my family), show her our wedding pictures, and just visit with her. Before we left, the family had decided that we’d have dinner at her apartment, because she doesn’t leave the apartment very often. (First sign that she might have been sicker than we’d anticipated.)
When we showed up she looked BAD. Her face was okay, but her body looked like a skeleton, no hyperbole. She was pretty lively and awake, though, and we all had a great dinner – and she even made a cake. She NEVER makes cake. So that was a nice way of showing that we were appreciated.
Two days later, we were going to just hang out with her for a few hours and show her the pictures, visit, and then leave her alone. That didn’t go very well. She had a headache, and didn’t want to look at the pictures because her eyes hurt, but tried to entertain us for a while, even when we insisted we should go. We left the pictures with her to look over at her leisure, and said we’d be back another day to pick them up and say goodbye.
But we never did. She never felt better enough to have us come out or even have us come visit. She got my aunt to pick up the photo album and deliver it to us, and gave me a quick, tepid goodbye over the phone. This trip was probably the last time I’ll ever see her, so it was a little disappointing that I never got to share the wedding with her, but I understand about her not feeling well. So I was disappointed, but I did have one good family dinner with her. Which I suppose will have to do.
Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I will
16 months ago
next see my grandma (& other members of the family) in August, 2008; I’m actually looking forward to it.
smile
Edited to Add:
Hmmm, “looking forward to it?” I guess this means that enough time has passed since my March trip for me to have forgotten? gotten over? the difficult moments of that visit. That’s a good thing, right?
wry grin
DoctorTeeth says, "Oh Sky Cake, why are you so delicious?"
Tickets = Booked!
17 months ago
When my wife and I got married last year, the biggest disappointment for me was that my Grandma (paternal) couldn’t make the trip out for it. Her health just wouldn’t permit it. It really affected my whole family, me and my dad in particular. So I promised her (and myself) that my wife and I would go out to Montreal to see her, show her pictures, and just visit in general. Plus, my wife hasn’t ever been to Montreal, so that’s another big reason to go.
We booked the tickets yesterday, and we’re set for four days in Montreal (bookended with a couple other stops, more on that later). Even though we do want to do some other things, visit other members of the family, this might be our last chance to see her. So it’s important to me to make the time count.
Anyhow, enough seriousness/sadness. We’re finally going to Montreal to see my grandma at the beginning of September, and I’m very happy about it.
teresita484 is trying to be a productive person
Nice Visit
20 months ago
Went to my grandma’s birthday party which was really nice. I spent the majority of time sitting with her and just visiting. I don’t know why I don’t do this more often.
Colleen_C_C is doing 43 things.
I had
20 months ago
mostly a very nice time visiting my grandmother—as well as a few difficult moments while I was there.
Perhaps as a result(?), in some ways it’s been good & in other ways it’s been hard to be “back to normal” here again this week.
Very often I’m finding myself thinking of little moments or images or comments—things that spring to mind unbidden….
