live for today

Tomorrow is not promised so why am I preoccupied with a day that may never come. I need to enjoy today. It’s ok to plan but it shouldn’t take over my life. I just realized today that I’m compulsive so now I can look at the things that I do and ask myself if they are rationale or just compulsive. I can do anything that I put my mind to with God’s help. I’m going to live for today. That means means that I better study today…for my exams tomorrow.

I have forgiven myself…I have let the past go. I no longer long for things I used to have, or people I used to know. I am not afraid of the future, and am building a solid foundation, daily, and just enjoying my time on earth! Sounds corny, but I am really happy. Since I started working out more, I find more enjoyment in the every day! It rocks!!

especially activity on the internet? so instead, i went out and bought myself sushi. i love food :)

while watching tv, i worked out. that’s balancing good things. yeah, baby. control.

i realized what a demon the t.v. and internet really are in my life. so… i opted for a better strategy. i listen to music while i’m on the net to monitor how much i’m on. my sister gave me this idea because she’ll shower to the radio and trust me, it works.

instead of watching tv and playing on the internet, i’ve found some time for a walk outside and to exercise. i guess there’s more to living for today than what i thought the phrase meant. it means to enjoy every day as it comes.

my new life in sf is new. but it isn’t necessarily bad. after all, i can’t take it with me. so i should just enjoy it, life, now.

smile on, america :)

I’m going with a friend of mine this weekend to Manchester in UK until Monday! I’m having a great time in my life now and wake up with a big smile in the morning to go to work. This is a great feeling, to be honest!

I made a decision to come see my dad this weekend. we stopped by my grandmother’s house and ate a good tuck-in lunch, and then we headed out. I don’t get to see my dad a lot, and I realized somehow I wanted to bond and learn with him. So I asked him if I could help him sail.

We spoke about small things- about being young and growing old. We talked about mom and her nagging. We talked about the brevity of life, and how in a flash- it’s all gone.

Then before I knew it, we were home. And I had to say good-bye to him, because his schedule drove him to relentlessly work.

I stayed to watch the sunset dip into the horizon’s pink flare- and disappear into a sea of pink, blue, and orange- into black space. And then the early stars shone through. That was a day to remember.

Today I turned the TV off. Cleaned my car out. Cleaned my room. Drove home. Mowed my parents’ lawn. Drove to the gas station with my dad and had one of those talks- the good kind. I drove back to my apartment. I feel good about nixing the TV. I made a day out of today!

This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I’m always thinking about the past, trying to perceive the future. But tonight at a wedding, I totally broke loose on the dance floor with my date- and man- did we tear it up! I realized that nobody cared how we danced; it was mostly my own inhibitions that prevented me from having a blast! And I did! It was awesome!!

I moan the past, worry about the future and miss Today!
Work is all-consuming – i need to live again!

I think about the past, and the future, far too much. I need to concentrate on this moment in time, and maybe the future to a managable degree.