I think my relationship will illmarinen may begin providing an excellent rebalancing for the habits I’ve developed. I’ve certainly made my own development a priority in my life, but it remains to be seen if I can make a compromise when it comes down to it. I’ve historically been good at making “sacrifices” by means of reinterpretation. Now I may get to see if I’m good at making actual sacrifices.
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I am slowly improving in reliability. I’m cultivating my own interests, goals, and dedication independent of other people. Yoga and reading seem to be the prominent ones. Once they become important parts of my life, I’ll reexamine myself to see what I’ve become, and what I can do to be better.
I don’t know what to do. I’m selfish in all the ways that come of choosing not to be selfish in other ways. After years of being selfish in one way, it’s really hard to shift to being selfish in another way. All signs point to my needing to become self-absorbed to the point where I can fit other people into my schedule only on my terms and as I see fit.
It’s not that I expect too much or too little from others. It’s not that I don’t give of myself. It’s that I’ll continue to pursue my own interests until someone reminds me of how selfish I’m acting.
I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I know cmt2779 deserves it.
