Let my soulmate find me. And focus on having a great life on my own in the meantime.

You’re not still married, right?
Or, you’re not really, really recently divorced?
Are you not on meds for a severe mental condition?
Are you employed?
Do you like to dance?
Do you not have visible earwax?

i’m wondering if my soul mate did find me…would i recognize her?
ponderous man,truly ponderous…

Just stop. Stop looking. Stop hoping. Stop wishing. Stop wanting. Focus on yourself and no one else. Be that cool, smart, witty, hot chick that you are. Improve what you can, and eff the rest.

There are nearly 7 billion people in this world. Back off, and let the universe do its thing.

I know how ridiculously new-agey that makes me sound, but it’s true.

I have to let go of past hurts, my stupid abandonment issues, and this lame Catholic guilt. (Ugh. I especially don’t need that, man.)

I want to be that confident chick who doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. I’ve BEEN that chick. Where the hell did that go? I’ve got to stop regretting so much.

Things happen for a reason. People come in your life, and sometimes they leave. That’s just how it rolls. It doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just human interaction and sometimes, incompatibility. Period.

But when I fall, I fall hard, dude. I can’t regret that. Go big or go home, right?

On one hand, I should keep my guard up, keep my distance, and avoid the inevitability of getting my heart broken. On the other hand, I can’t live my life in constant crisis mode. I can’t be afraid of something great, just because someone else effed it up before.

Moreover, I can’t sabotage my own happiness by clinging to my fears or my own negativity.

Yeah, so my childhood was kind of dysfunctional. Whose wasn’t? Christ, enough already.

I don’t want this anymore. I’m not nine years old anymore. It’s over. I’m better for it, but it’s done.

It’s nothing more than valuable lesson, that I don’t need to keep shoving into someone else’s face. Rather, it’s something that stays with me as a reminder to be understanding, patient, caring and loving. Flip that script and make it a positive attribute.

Yep. I’m gonna go with that from now on.

Onward.

I hear, all the time, two different perspectives:

1. It will happen when you least expect it.
2. It has to be a priority.

I’m willing to bet on the former, but understand the importance of the latter.

I know what I’m looking/hoping for:
- He effing knows what he wants – he wants to fall in love, develop a healthy relationship with someone, and someday (and I’m talking YEARS down the road, not next week), have a family.
- He’s not dictated by social convention. He doesn’t figure, “We’ll I’m not sure about this, but it’s what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.”
- He has his shit together – a career (or at least a job he enjoys,) his own place, a good relationship with his family, an education, goals, loves learning new things, etc.
- He has a sense of humor, doesn’t take himself too seriously, and is unafraid to laugh. Loud.
- He’s open-minded, easy-going and doesn’t rush to judgment.
- His idea of a good time ISN’T going out and getting trashed at a bar.
- He’s taller than me. (Hey, I’m just sayin.’)
- He loves rollercoasters.
- He loves to travel and expand his horizons.
- He has friendships over a decade old.
- He can talk. About anything.
- He’s honest and ethical.
- He cares about the world around him.
- He likes animals.
- He has good taste in music and movies. He’s got an appreciation for all things nerdy, but doesn’t live in his parents’ basement.
- He doesn’t harbor any anger or resentment toward any of his exes.
- He genuinely likes me for me. He wants the foundation of a good friendship as much as I do.
- He’s genuinely interested in me, and doesn’t play the “You’re like my sister” card.
- He’s realistic enough be practical, but idealistic enough to dream big.
- He doesn’t have hangups about religion, politics or sex. He’s spiritually open, but rational.
- He can cook.
- He has a life of his own, and respects that I do, too.
- He knows the difference between wanting and needing someone.

This seems like a lot, but fuck it. Why not? I don’t want someone settling for me. Why would I settle either?

Maybe by indicating what it is that I want in a partner, I’ve handed this off into the universe… and fate will take care of the rest.

i am, so there’s still time for my soulmate to find me, but to help him along im going to get out more whenever i can with friends and new friends that i shall seek to find.

I want him to be my soulmate not just anyone,but how will i know, ‘you’ll just know’, says my dad, who i believe. HANG ON THOUGH I THOUGHT i knew before with him and him, however there was always sonething that wasnt quite right something small something i could ignore, but i know that when i know everythig will be in place perfectly.

I did have a great time on my own, and now I feel that my soulmate has found me. I can´t wait for him to visit with me next month :)

with a guy from the dating site. Not quite sure what to think about it really. He was definitely very nice (and seems totally sane, nothing like the last creep!), we have lots of things in common. He even said he has been thinking about getting a dog, which, considering my life, is a good thing. My problem with him was that he did seem quite negative. He had a lot of negative things to say about how difficult his job is, that he finds the whole internet dating thing very difficult and quite a few other things. I´m not quite sure about that, I don´t think I´d like to be with someone who is very good at seeing the negative sides of things. On the other hand, that doesn´t have to be his personality in general. It could be a result of him being a bit shy or uncomfortable in the situation for instance. Or a result of circumstances right now. I consider myself a very positive person in general, but when life is really difficult as it is these days, it does get to me, and I do notice myself focusing on negative things a lot. Maybe he´s going through some difficulties too.
I think I will give him a second chance, if he gets in touch with me that is. He did say he would like to see me again, so hopefully he will.
I have come up with the idea of writing an article about how to do internet dating at work, so I´be been working on that a bit. It´s brilliant. I get to call different dating experts, like psychologists and people who run dating sites, asking them all sorts of questions about it. I ask all the questions in a “Some people I have interviewed told me they think….” sort of way, while in reality it is of course my own questions, things I´m not sure about. Love that. One of the things one expert said was that too many people write their dates off after one date if it´s not great, and that she thinks that is a mistake. There could be lots of reasons things don´t go all that well on the first date, nervousness for instance, or maybe the person just has a bad day or something. So I´ll take her advise and see him again if he asks. ;)

Again, I need to shift my focus away from romantic possibilities and simply focus on having a great life on my own. I forgot that for a little while and lost my center. Now I’m getting back on track.

This has been going well. I’ve focused on the things that are important to me and I’ve noticed a change. Now I just need to keep focusing on those things, because at the moment I’m thinking about ‘my soulmate’ way too much. I can’t get my hopes up. I’ve been let down too many times.