I’m trying really hard to not make assumptions about what is wrong with my hand. Aside for understanding the basics (keep the wound clean and the splint in place), nothing good can come from google. 1 year ago
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So, I’m slowly reading The Four Agreements.
I’ve read it before and found a lot of wisdom in it. This time I’m reading one section every few weeks and letting the ideas linger for a while before moving on.
I read the chapter about assumptions yesterday. At the time, I was feeling pretty good about it. I learned a long time ago that I need to ask questions, especially in my work. So, I was reading and thinking that this one wasn’t going to change my life. Fast forward 5 hours and I totally misunderstand the boyfriend’s plan for dinner. We didn’t end up eating until 10 pm, which I would have known if I’d asked clarifying questions. But I ASSUMED that boyfriend knew I was hungry. And I ASSUMED that we were eating leftovers that could be reheated quickly. It’s so frustrating because I’m still sitting here mad about it the next day, trying to defend my position. Tempted to rant and write out all the reasons why my assumptions were valid and my idea of dinner planning is correct. But none of that matters anymore. I know how to avoid this. I can avoid this by not assuming my boyfriend can read my mind. I can avoid this by not assuming he has a plan for dinner. I can avoid this by asking clarifying questions about the shopping list he gives me.
So, now I’ve learned something and I know I have to think on it and dwell on it. But I’m still not satisfied. I’m still angry. I feel like now I’m just taking all the blame, leaving him with no responsibility to be considerate or clear with his words. I still feel like I need to say “I can’t wait until 10pm to eat dinner on days I work out, next time you plan dinner that late will you let me know so I can have a snack”. But that’s going to be silly to say now, the next day. I should have said it yesterday. 2 years ago