be less passive-aggressive.

Well I did some research, acknowledged the evils of passive aggression, recognized them in myself, pointed out to myself where specifically it was screwing up my life, determined where I learned this behavior and detatched myself from that source, talked to others about it like a recovering alcoholic talks to Church groups about it, and developed a strategy for overcoming it. This included journaling about it, surrounding myself with people who did not respond to passive aggression but instead only accepted upfront methods of communication, openly acknowledged my weakness to myself and others, and consciouly chose a different course of action when faced with a situation that made me want to act passive aggressively.

In a nutshell.

The less passive aggressive I became, the easier it got. The more I faced life situations in more responsible ways, the free-er I became to do so. It was liberating, strengthening, emboldening, wonderful. And since people tend to respond better to non passive aggressive behavior, I was rewarded, and healthy behavior was reinforced.
There have been retrogrades since I was forced into interaction with some of the same people who originally made me passive aggressive. It has been difficult to change my behavior around them. But I am taking steps to remove them from my life permanently, while remaining grounded in my newfound strength and continuing to journal my progress.

After much vaccilation… some stagnation, a step here or there, a setback or two, I find myself little improved upon this goal.
Well, untrue. Let me say that I find now, after some self analysis, that although I have generally succeeded in ridding myself of passive aggression, I have failed at finding something to replace it with.
I guess what this means is that I’ve become passive instead of passive aggressive. And occassionally I’m aggressive too. But these are not good replacements to passive aggression. Head and shoulders above passive aggression, I believe, but still not the best.

What I need now is to become assertive. Truly assertive. Assert my wants, my needs, my goals, my boundaries, and my standards. This is something to work on.

But as I said, I have already succeeded in becoming “less passive aggressive” – there’s really no way for me to become less so that I currently am because I am not passive aggressive anymore. Sometimes I may resort to that behavior but it can no longer be used to describe me.

It is time to check this goal off and replace it with the goal of becoming assertive. ch-ching!

ddddd

Arguments, fights, and conflict are inevitable.

Confrontation can lead to a win-win compromise.

God helps those who are too weak to help themselves; I can win when I oppose more powerful enemies.

I cannot and do not want to please people.

I speak the truth no matter what other people think.

Showing my anger openly allows others the information necessary to correct the situation.

It is not a sin to get angry; it is ok to get angry.

Everyone wants to know how I feel.

Someone will understand how I feel; it doesn’t matter if other do not understand.

My problems are reasonable and just like everyone else’s; I need to show them so others can understand.

I am successful and reasonable; therefore I should defend my position.

I will never “win’’ unless I try; I may fail, but there’s a 50-50 chance I will win.

I realize it is wrong to mislead and manipulate people by agreeing with them and then doing the opposite of what I agreed to do.

Lying is sinful and shameful; I want to live an honest life; I live honestly and openly.

I’d rather confront people right away to minimize the chances of misunderstanding; I tell people how I really feel about things so they will have the chance to understand.

It is ok and inevitable that I will disagree with people; I can be honest with people about how I feel even if what I feel is counter to what they want me to feel.

It does not matter whether or not people like or accept me; I refuse to say anything just so they will like me; people will like me more if I am honest.

Actions speak louder than words; what I do and how I act is even more important to people than what I say; using deceptive speech to mislead people will only complicate the situation.

People will know I’m angry and disagree with them even though I say the contrary.

I cannot and should not hide my feelings from others; it hurts me and confuses others.

My feelings are very important. It is better to stick by my feelings and upset someone than to hide my feelings to protect them.

I would rather die than be dishonest; I would rather get into an argument with someone than be dishonest; I would rather ruin my reputation than be dishonest.

If I lie about how I feel, others will still be able to figure out the truth anyway and resent my behavior.

I will not lie about my feelings because they are transparent anyway.