become a hermit

and live in my pjs with the fire place going and music in the background and a million of projects for me to dive into…without time constraints.
will come outside when there are plants to play with in sunny weather.

a book called HERMIT … tell the tales of the fathers of the desert. Hmmm … how can i become a hermit in such a huge city. I’m going to have to adjust the whole “getting away” philosophy a bit …

but only once I’ve finished all the above items, and then only so that I can finish the Bible in peace!

But twice? It gets old FAST. I had my time to be alone all the time, but Im ready for a party or two and some crazy adventures.

Be isolated from people is how I like to live. I do feel like I should be out and about all the time, I feel like a loser since I don’t want to. I enjoy staying home and doing what I like to do. Being social is like a job most of the time.
Living far from people would be great for me, as long as I could share my thoughts with someone, I’d be very happy.

Grandma: disgusted “Don’t you like having friends?”
Me: “No. I don’t.”

Never have liked having a lot of friends, probably never will.

I forced myself to socialize until I wasn’t as awkaward. My grandma lecures me to go out and do something, so I go out by myself. I really enjoy watching movies by myself. Actually, I think I’ll go thursday to see that new chrocials of narnia one. Yes, I will. I try to do things with people and call my friends more often, but I hate doing it.
I want to go somewhere where I won’t see any people for two weeks, just to start out. Like it the woods or something, where I can atleast get outside or go for a swim.
I agree with that one girl, our culture tells us to socialize all the time. I want to live by myself. I want a small, crappy but clean apt all to myself. Maybe with a dog or a cat or something.
So Im done trying to force myself to be social. Forget that! I go though social moods though. so whatever I feel like, I’ll do.
Nobody’s running my social life anymore >=[

to me that i am a hermit. living in seclusion and isolation from society is… me

sooo uncomfortable around people…even people i like…i just want to be alone all the time…and then i get so lonely…yeah i guess im nucking futs!

I’m on the 21st day of my hiatus and I feel replenished. I’m visiting my mom and brother in a small city on the outskirts of Toronto and I think this is going to be my retreat from now on. It’s quiet and calm. And best of all, I only know two people in the whole city which is liberating, I don’t feel bound to the superficial agenda by which we live when we know that we might cross someone we know on our way to the mall, school, work, gym etc.

I haven’t worn makeup or done my hair since I’ve been here. I don’t need to look “presentable”, I’m not saying that I’m not taking care of myself and neglecting personal hygiene or anything like that lol but when I go out, I’m not self-conscious about how I look or act as a matter of fact.

I want to bring this state of mind back with me to Montreal. And I will :)

This has been a goal of mine for about three years now. People are great and all, but there are so many issues that come along with knowing them! I’d like to cut myself off from this tangle of madness and just live how I want to live, never having to involve myself with anyone. My dream would be my own island, but as that’s not really feasible, I’ll settle for my own ranch in a place like Texas or Arizona (it has to be warm). As soon as I finish college, I intend to fulfill this dream.