become a hermit

But twice? It gets old FAST. I had my time to be alone all the time, but Im ready for a party or two and some crazy adventures.

Be isolated from people is how I like to live. I do feel like I should be out and about all the time, I feel like a loser since I don’t want to. I enjoy staying home and doing what I like to do. Being social is like a job most of the time.
Living far from people would be great for me, as long as I could share my thoughts with someone, I’d be very happy.

Grandma: disgusted “Don’t you like having friends?”
Me: “No. I don’t.”

Never have liked having a lot of friends, probably never will.

I forced myself to socialize until I wasn’t as awkaward. My grandma lecures me to go out and do something, so I go out by myself. I really enjoy watching movies by myself. Actually, I think I’ll go thursday to see that new chrocials of narnia one. Yes, I will. I try to do things with people and call my friends more often, but I hate doing it.
I want to go somewhere where I won’t see any people for two weeks, just to start out. Like it the woods or something, where I can atleast get outside or go for a swim.
I agree with that one girl, our culture tells us to socialize all the time. I want to live by myself. I want a small, crappy but clean apt all to myself. Maybe with a dog or a cat or something.
So Im done trying to force myself to be social. Forget that! I go though social moods though. so whatever I feel like, I’ll do.
Nobody’s running my social life anymore >=[

to me that i am a hermit. living in seclusion and isolation from society is… me

sooo uncomfortable around people…even people i like…i just want to be alone all the time…and then i get so lonely…yeah i guess im nucking futs!

I’m on the 21st day of my hiatus and I feel replenished. I’m visiting my mom and brother in a small city on the outskirts of Toronto and I think this is going to be my retreat from now on. It’s quiet and calm. And best of all, I only know two people in the whole city which is liberating, I don’t feel bound to the superficial agenda by which we live when we know that we might cross someone we know on our way to the mall, school, work, gym etc.

I haven’t worn makeup or done my hair since I’ve been here. I don’t need to look “presentable”, I’m not saying that I’m not taking care of myself and neglecting personal hygiene or anything like that lol but when I go out, I’m not self-conscious about how I look or act as a matter of fact.

I want to bring this state of mind back with me to Montreal. And I will :)

This has been a goal of mine for about three years now. People are great and all, but there are so many issues that come along with knowing them! I’d like to cut myself off from this tangle of madness and just live how I want to live, never having to involve myself with anyone. My dream would be my own island, but as that’s not really feasible, I’ll settle for my own ranch in a place like Texas or Arizona (it has to be warm). As soon as I finish college, I intend to fulfill this dream.

After hearing “Don’t worry, you’ll find a partner some day” for the ten thousandth time, I’ve decided the concept that “there’s someone for everyone” is flawed. I don’t believe this is true. I believe it’s possible for some people to never find a decent person who truly loves them, no matter how hard they look or even if they stop looking and get on with life.

I feel I may be one of these people. It used to really bother me. “What’s wrong with me? I’m a decent person. Why doesn’t somebody love me?”, I would ask myself. But it no longer bothers me. In fact there are many advantages to being on your own. You can do whatever you like and no-one will nag. No-one to get upset if the house is untidy, etc, etc.

I would move to the country and live on a small property, maybe 5-10 acres. I don’t know if I could become “completely” separated from society. I’d still have to go into town to buy groceries and such, but that doesn’t mean I need have anything to do with them. I don’t have to watch TV or listen to radio. I have plenty of DVDs and music. This way I can remain ignorant of world events. They only bring you down. What do I care if a plane crashes in Uzbekistan or a typhoon ravages Bangladesh? It’s selfish, yes, and it’s a shame these things happened, but they have nothing to do with me and I can’t do anything about them, so why should I give them my energy? I don’t ask anyone to devote their energy to me. I would simply have regard for some family members and my dogs. I love dogs, small ones especially. They are wonderful friends who never let you down.

Is this self-centred? Sure, it is. But this is my life, and no-one elses.

I like the people in my life. I kinda an a hermit in winter, but don’t think I’d fair well on a grander scale. Never gonna happen.

I’m kinda there already…. just not on the mountain yet, and that’s so far off. Can’t afford it. But this weekend I’m holed up in my condo away from ALL humanity – and want to be left alone.