encourage others to reach their potential

While going back home from the vigil on Friday, this man stopped me on the sidewalk to ask about my armband and my view. Then he asked if I liked poetry, and following my positive response, recited two of his own poems. I think his work was great, and it’s a shame that this talent had trouble for the very basics of life (struggling for food/shelter, recently out of jail, ... according to himself). The whole purpose of this post is to ask for input about possible ways to support him.

He gave me one of his autographed poems to “take back home.” :) I’m quoting him below.

_{Technically, I don’t have his consent to distribute this. All rights reserved by the poet.}

CHAOS

in my part
of town
we creep
among cockroaches rats
we creep
among cockroaches rats
brawling dogs
‘neath glutenous skies

soft human shadows
blending
into the chaos
that will be tomorrow

where we see
screaming blues
frayed hunting eyes
aching billyclubs
and patent-leathered shoes
the ones they used to pound
natty dreads into the underground
railroad tracks that no longer
leads to safety

leaving us scourged and slashed
wit’ tongues pulled out
like melons calling it justice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpJQqzJj534. The music adds a lot.

I once read a great quote,”Encouragement, is essentially a transference of feeling.”
This quote rang true for me. So I realized I could not encourage others effectively until I succeeded in overcoming at least most of my own fears.
Making that commitment to myself has allowed me to be an effortless encourager.

I have a coworker with very different values than mine. She also has a different work style. Yet, she is concretely working on a goal to make herself a better nurse. I admire that. I am seeing things at work that she does very well. It will benefit us both to recognize her great work.

So it will be an ongoing goal.

Just some thoughts…
To do this in a conscious way, I want to start by clarifying some types of encouragement for myself. For instance, there is “good job” encouragement, which is meaningful and energy giving, but may not be deeply personal. Then there is “I will work to pay your college tuition” encouragement, which involves deep self commitment. Another type might be, “I will stick with you while you solve your own problem” encouragement, which involves more listening than talking. There is “you can do it” encouragement to help build confidence. “Do your Algebra homework” encouragement might be to help overcome a difficulty that ultimately leads to a more whole person. There are so many different ways to encourage others. Ideas welcome!

Last week I got approached by 3 people to mentor them, 2 people who asked if they could shadow me at work, and 2 people who need help with professional studies.

And of course I said yes to all of them !!

Fabulous lady with so much passion for her job, but all gets a little lost when she tries to do stuff. Spent the last two days with her, talking, listening, suggesting, nudging etc etc.

End result got an email from another colleague last night which said … “Just had Bev on the phone, she is buzzing, dont know what you have done to her but its a job well done”.

I agreed to go back in 3 months so see how things have changed. Fingers crossed she manages to maintain he initial enthusiasm.

Been working with Alex most of the week and things been going very well but on the final day something happened and she was so so so disappointed. Not her fault but I can understand why she feels the way she does. So today I gonna send her a “your are fab” email and let her know that one of the ideas she showed me we will pick up and deliver to 65,000 people. She’s still learning but so important she focusses on all the good stuff rather than the one negative.

Sometimes Yin and Yan seem to get themselves a little muddled !!

I met Gillian this week on my travels. She’s only been working within my company for 2 weeks but stood out like a ray of sunshine amongst her peers. So much energy, so much passion, and above all an ability to challenge, to question in the most astute way. Later that day she sent me an email apologising for asking “contraversial” questions. I replied with the following …

“I remember you asking good questions, I remember you asking interesting questions, and I even remember you asking challenging questions, but i dont remember you asking any contraversial questions. “

It reminded me of a little story I wrote a few year back to illustrate a point to a few of my less open minded colleagues so i sent it to her …

“THE FARMER AND THE GRASSHOPPER”
A KOREAN FABLE

Mr Kim was a simple farmer who lived in a small village. Each year the village had an annual competition and the winner got to farm the best land for the next twelve months. The rules of the competition were very simple, each farmer had to find a grasshopper that could jump higher than any other. Mr Kim was determined to win this competition as he knew that if he got the best land his family would prosper for many years to come.

One day Mr Kim was working in his field when suddenly a grasshopper jumped onto the top of his plough, which stood almost one metre above the ground. Mr Kim had never seen a grasshopper jump so high, and he knew at once that he had found a very special talent. He spoke kindly to the young grasshopper and offered him the chance to perform better than any other, and in return, he would get food, shelter and protection. So the grasshopper left his field and went with the farmer who provided him with a grass filled box in which to live. The box was 25cm square and 25cm high, and every day the grasshopper practiced his jumping so that he would be ready to take his opportunity.

Eventually the day of the competition came and each farmer took his turn to show how high their grasshopper could go. Mr Kim was very confident knowing that he had the best young grasshopper in the village and that the highest jump so far had only been 50cm but sadly things didn’t go to plan. No matter how hard he tried Mr Kim’s grasshopper could only jump 25cm.

At first Mr Kim couldn’t understand what had gone wrong but eventually he realised that although he gave the grasshopper the best of everything, the grasshopper had forgotten how to jump higher than the restriction Mr Kim had placed around him. He promised himself that next time he found such a grasshopper he would ensure it was given the freedom to perform to it’s true ability.

I wonder how many of us in our role as Managers behave like the farmer and how many of our garduates turn into grasshoppers!!

• * * *

I suspect Gillian will go far. I hope so, and I will do everything I can to encourage and support her.