I don’t want to carry this anymore. I don’t want to get upset and remember what happened to me. I does hurt and sometimes I can’t stop myself from thinking about the past.
How to learn to forgive those who have hurt me
How I did it: I'm not a very resentful person in general. It takes a lot to make me upset for more than a day. Yet there were a few people who I thought I could never forgive. Or, even worse: I knew it would be a part of growing up to forgive them, but the sheer thought made me cringe and filled me with disgust. How could I ever do that?
In the meantime, I moved away to build up my very own life. I managed to fix myself, to heal the wounds, to overcome a variety of mental issues (at least partly caused by one person), to pursue my dreams and to become a basically happy person. I met many different people and learned a lot. One of my most important insights was that most people are weaker than they seem. That weakness lets us make mistakes, sometimes terrible ones. And that truly forgiving doesn't require foolishness, nor love, but most of all inner strength.
One day I realized that I'd become strong enough to forgive even the person I'd hated and feared and been terrorized by most in my life. All my anger and disgust had turned into genuine pity for a deeply frustrated person that would probably never be happy.
Being free of all those bad feelings made me many imaginary pounds lighter. I'm done with my past and responsible for my own life now.
Lessons & tips: Don't rush things. Take your time being hurt, take your time being angry. Forgiveness is not a rational decision, but a feeling. Find your own way, become a strong and independent person, and it will come to you.
Resources: Time and space. Writing and talking. Friends and self-improvement. Maybe 43things :)
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Entries
Slowly, I’m learing to forgive and forget. I know I won’t be able to completely erase the things that have really hurt me emotionally, but I know as time goes by, things do indeed start to hurt less. It’s funny though, because a lot of the things that have scarred me were things that happened years and years ago when I was much younger. I feel sort of pathetic in a way ..because I haven’t yet let these things go. I know the people who’ve hurt me have grown up and are honestly sorry for their mistakes. Some of them don’t even know they’ve hurt me.
It wasn’t but recently that I started to realize I need to move on. I need to stop dweling in the past and give people more chances.
Ian's♥Wife appreciating everything that I have...everyday.
the people who’ve hurt me I mean really hurt me…aren’t all in my life anymore. The few that are…have worked their way into my good graces. I can’t honestly sit & name a person within the last year or so who has hurt me that I felt I couldn’t forgive. Not anybody that matters anyway. I think I can truthfully say that right now Im really truly good. OK with life & the people I share mine with. I don’t have it in me to be angry or upset or hold a grudge anymore. Everything is alright. ♥
Ian's♥Wife appreciating everything that I have...everyday.
but I’ve yet to drop a recent grudge. :( I’m so angry inside still. I guess I still need time to let it out…I dunno. When I think about it I just see it as her doing the same thing as those around me and how she was so different from them. Now she’s just the same. I can count the people I can trust on one hand and it’s sad. I think my true friends can be counted on one hand too & that makes me even more sad. ahh who needs friends anyway right? I got my kids.
Ian's♥Wife appreciating everything that I have...everyday.
that I can do this. I can and I have. It takes a bit of time, but if that person means enough to you, eventually it can be done. The people that matter most are in my life and they are good. We are all good that’s whats important.



