be less intimidating

I have heard MANY times that people find me very intimidating, because I tend to be blunt and honest from the frist time I meet you. I have been working veyr hard lately on watchig teh way that I speak in an effort to come across as less harsh.

As one of my other goals is to speak my true feelings, I am paying very close attention to my words. nI don’t want to be complacent about things, that is not my intention at all. I simply think that I have spent a long time speaking in a way that is not really how I want to come across, and not always the most productive and/or effective. I am know trying very hard to make sure that I do NOT interrupt, that I use a pleasant speaking tone, and that I present my thoughts ina way that is not over bearing or judgemental sounding.

I just don’t know how to do this. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out.

People are always telling me that I scared them when we first met and that they thought that I hated them. I don’t know what it is about me. Someone told me it was my glasses, but I just don’t know.

So I’ve realized that I’m pretty overwhelming.

Do I want to change? I don’t know. I feel like this is a pretty hollow goal because I like myself a lot—the only thing is that most folks don’t. Not that I’m dying for the approval of others, but there needs to be a common ground; I can’t be some psycho hermit for the rest of my life, you know?

Blaahhhh.

Yes, this is about The Boy. Sort of. I know he’s not that into me or if he is, his fear of me is overshadowing whatever interest he has, so I need to come to terms with that. I’m sure there are plenty of fishies in the deep blue sea we call the world that aren’t afraid of a little sass. And I’m sure they’re really adorable, affectionate, capable, artistically-inclined fishies, too. With healthy sexual appetites and lots of ambition.

Okay, I need to stop. I’m just frustrating myself.

So maybe I’ll win over somebody someday. Somehow.

I just like to be direct. It’s easier to communicate that way. I like to know what I’m talking about and I want the people giving me information and direction to know what they’re talking about. Anything else is a waste of time.