be a better drunk

im sick of drinkin like i always go out get drunk and can barely remember conversations da next day like i do have fun but then i feel guilty after.you see the only reason i do drink is because it gives me confidence i can speak and go mad in big groups but den the next day i feel people can see through this so i wont to stop and be a better drunk!i would never stop drinkin altogether its part of my culture-im irish ha!i would jst like to go out have fun and come home and not feel guilty.

If I can’t quit drinking, I should at least be able to conduct myself better.

The problem is, when I am plastered I think that I’m golden. I betcha nobody even had a clue I was THAT wasted. And then…I look at the drunk pictures. And I realize, I’m not fooling anybody! Seriously, you should see the pictures. Most of my friends are “okay” at keeping it together. But I am just flat out STUPID looking! Oh mother of all that is good and pure, I hate myself!

I choose to lock myself within the confines of my house and process my memories, my thoughts, my aspirations, my emotions. I am a relatively harmless drunk.
You think I shouldn’t get drunk? Well, where are you when I need to talk? What can you do for me? Except maybe, pray? Don’t judge me. Judge yourself.
See you on the other side.

So I went in and sat down, pulled out the hymnal, and sang along.

hahahaha oops.

last night i just chilled with my two good friends in their new apartment! And it was wonderful.

I was good.
And I only feel alittle bad today.

This weekend (weekend after finals) shall be the true test.

yesterday, a lovely tuesday night i decided i would go out because it was my girls birthday. But i wasn’t going to get drunk. nope …. 12 beers later I’m being carried home bc I can’t even walk. Sigh. I need to learn when to stop. Otherwise my college years are going to be one drunk blur. I’d like to remember the people i meet and maybe form some real relationships. Not just you’re drunk and i’m drunk so we’re best friends tonight! Also maybe I would actually make it to class occasionally.

So starting now. I’m going to work on being a better drunk. Learning when to stop and when to say no.

I have been a better drunk lately, and I feel rather want to get drunk. Having a lot of water and I think I am OK on this goal.

But I would be fooling myself. I am in Finland- you cannot avoid the occasional drink or five. Especially in the dark winter months. I am also a relatively lightweight Asian person. Although I’ve been known to utilize and even used to be somewhat proud of the amount of alcohol I could handle, as compared to the people I have been keeping company with here, my tolerance is pitiful. I should learn to face up to that fact and not try to keep up.