do whatever I want to do, when I want to do it.

doing whatever you want to do, when you want to do it can be a fun way to live, but it isn’t very responsible or mature. We all shouldn’t do everything little thing that pops in our head at the time just cause we want to, say, for example, not going to work some days, or being rude for the hell of it. Living a good life is about making choices… and sacrifices, and sometimes that includes denying yourself something you want at the moment for the bigger picture.

I lived like this for a while…gained lots of weight, hurt some people pretty bad and ended up feeling miserable. I found true joy comes from when I restrain my own petty desires, forget myself and passionately serve others and give of myself.

my mom was yelling, but i didn’t do anything wrong.

so i just got up and walked away, went right out the door and stood there to catch my breath for a minute.

it worked quite well, and i didn’t even get in trouble.

i’m trying to teach myself how to be assertive without being obnoxious. harder than it sounds. to stand up for myself, but also, resultingly, take RESPONSIBILITY for myself.

fear used to hold me back. and of course, THE ONLY THING TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF. if you understand the consequences of controlling every aspect of your own actions, and decide that it’s something worth those consequences, then go for it!

the only thing holding you back from a goal like this is YOURSELF. other “things” require stamina and indurance and skill and study. THIS REQUIRES CONFIDENCE. that’s all you need.

GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY <33
i hope you find this as…empowering (amy’s words) as i did.

=]

you see, you need SELF ESTEEM to do this. which…yea uhm i don’t have.

but, i’m trying. i’ve told people off when they try and putme down, i’ve laughed in peopel’s faces when they try to make me feel smaller, i’ve stomped on some people and gotten a few to stand down.

i could just…do it a little more.
let’s consider this half done??

I HAVE YELLED AT PEOPLE THAT TREAT ME BAD. AND I’VE EVEN SLAPPED MY BOYFRIEND. WHOOPEE. IM ON A ROLL… IM FREE!!!

NOW U GOTTA TAKE CHARGE. AND STOP LETTING PEOPLE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ALL THE TIME.

Fun way to live. Empowering.

A few days ago i stop talking to a friend because i got mad at him…. I just decided to do it…. Too bad for him, he loose a very good friend….
I have decided not to talk to him ever! ....

so what the hell is holding me back?