is a song I will forever associate with my mom. During a very bleak time, she would listen to it over and over. I can’t say for certain what was happening in mom’s head but I can tell you that when I went through a period of listening to the same songs over and over, it was the blackest of depressions and those songs were keeping me alive. If that’s what this song was doing for mom, I’m grateful to Alannah Myles. 7 months ago
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I remember always shopping at the mall with my mom. She loved to shop. Me, I hated the mall. Anyways, my favorite store as a teen was the bookstore which my mom hated to go into at the time. She was blind and this was before audio books were really popular, so she thought a book store for her was a waste of time. So, being the brat that I was (and still am) I tried to trick her into going into the quiet bookstore with me and not telling her which store we were going into.
“I smell print, I smell print” she started shouting in the store like a damn alarm clock until I turned around and took her out of the store. I was so embarrassed at the time (not much was needed to embarrass me back then) when everyone there just stared. Years later, mom and I would always laugh about this, with her telling me that it takes a lot to fool an old blind lady. 9 months ago
:D This cracked me up immensely. I think English accents are super charming and sexy and I love several British actors and a ton of British things (I believe the term is Anglophile), but whenever I would try to get mom to watch a movie with British stars, she couldn’t understand what they were saying and was constantly asking me to translate. 10 months ago
I thought long and hard to write about my mom’s death and what it meant to me but I don’t think it will make any difference about how I feel towards her. I wasn’t there and we weren’t on speaking terms at the time so I guess I took it harder because of the guilt I went thru. It was doubly hard because I didn’t speak to most of my family so they didn’t hear my side of what happened between us and blamed me without ever hearing me out. When she died, it didn’t matter anymore but I still don’t talk with 2 of my brothers because of it.
I loved my Mom but there were so many obstacles that got in our way for us to be truly close. She wanted to dominate and decide the course our mother/daughter relationship would go. It would have been nice to open up to her about stuff good or bad that was going on in my life except she often set up mental roadblocks making it difficult. She was judgemental but I think it was due to her own upbringing. Her sister Mary once told her that their mother’s husband wasn’t my Mom father and that was why Helen was divorced from him. I know that really isn’t important in today’s society but in the era my Mom grew up in, being born out of wedlock still had social repercussions. She kept her birth mother at arms length not wanting a close relationship with her and never spoke about what kind of relationship she had with her adopted mother. I knew it had an impact, however, because she said she often had dreams about her Mom when we lived in California which suddenly stopped after her death.
I know that my relationship with my Mom shaped my own with my own daughter. I refuse to allow narrowmindedness to be a factor. I have made mistakes and will probably make more but won’t deny them like my Mom did. I don’t like criticism anymore then the next person but if it has value, I’ll use it to better myself rather then ignore it. When someone would tell me I’m just like my Mom I use to cringe. Not anymore. She had so many more good qualities then bad. I hope people see her good qualities in me as well.
This is my final post for this goal. I’m marking it done. 12 months ago
She started having circulatory issues while in her early 40s and her doctor took her off the birth control pill which she had been on since the early 1960s. She had been on same high dosage she had started out on. It nearly wrecked her life, making her a high risk candidate for stroke along with her smoking and not getting enough exercise. I probably never picked up smoking as a habit because of her problems although I will smoke an occassional menthol cigarette.
She was put on an extreme diet at the time (she was tipping the scales at around 200 lbs). She ate no butter or margarine, quit cooking fried foods and ate little or no animal fat. She lost a significant amount of weight and probably weighed less then 140 when finished. She continued to smoke, not quitting until she became a grandparent. During all this, I suggested she get a bicycle and we started riding together. She never did, unfortunately. She wasn’t one to walk for her health, either.
Once she overcame this crisis in her health, she acted as if it never happened. She went back to her usual diet although she probably ate more fruits and vegetables then previously and leaner meats. Years later, after her death, it was revealed by my brother that she continued to suffer from a blood circulatory problem that she kept hidden from all of us. After conferring with me, it turned out I probably knew more of her health issues then he did because he didn’t remember her ever going to a specialist and having tests done. I told him I took her several times because she needed a driver after some of the tests.
He now tells me that his primary doctor who was also her primary while she was alive says that they suffer from the same blood disorder. He is worried his daughters will both have it. So far, I show no signs of it. At the moment. I cant remember what the disorder is called. All I know is if left untreated, it will significantly shorten your life. 12 months ago
I remember she was constantly going thru mood swings as well as having either hot flashes or cold sweats. In the winter, it was not uncommon for the thermostat to be set at 80 one minute and 60 the next depending on whether my mom was feeling cold or hot at the moment. In the summer, the ac in her bedroom couldn’t cool her down even when it was cranked up all the way. She sometimes went to Walmarts in the evenings to just walk around in their air conditioning and stayed until they closed. She would have liked the fact that they stay open now 24/7. 12 months ago
My mom did not attend the visitation or her furneral. I was the only one among my mom’s children who went. Neither my mom nor I ever talked about why she didn’t go or why I did. I didn’t tell her I had grown close to Helen while living on my parents’ farm not too far from where Helen lived and Helen had been helpful in making me understand the person who was my Mom. I never knew my Mom’s adopted Mom very well as she died when I was 8 years old and I’d only seen her a handful of times during our visits to Missouri. 12 months ago
My Mom had a serious boyfriend named Paul whom she dated all her Senior year and went to prom with. for some unknown reason they discontinued seeing each other after graduation. When telling me about herself at that age, she always spoke of him fondly. As far as I knew, she never ran into him or knew his whereabouts after we moved to Missouri or saw him while visiting her hometown. 12 months ago
My Mom once told me that spring cleaning was a serious thing they underwent every spring on their farm. For several years they heated the house with coal until her Dad had a propane gas furnace installed. The burning of coal in the winter left soot on the walls and furniture which had to be cleaned each spring. The upholstered furniture and rugs were brought outdoors and beatened or swept and aired out. The woodwork was scrubbed then freshley waxed. all other surfaces throughout house were cleaned with soap and water if possible. The walls were papered throughout the house and required special cleaning. My Mom said they used a kind of putty like substance on the wallpaper to take the old coal soot off. Every few years when money wasn’t so tight, they would put up new wallpaper. She remembered one year she was allowed to pick the wallpaper for the living room and dining room and she chose one with huge red roses. 12 months ago
And apparently wrote to her parents nearly twice a month while we lived in California. She received as many letters and cards from her folks as well. She and her parents never threw the letters, cards or postcards away. After her parents died, she found all the letters she sent them over the years as well as all the other correspondence they kept. When she and my Dad died, I’m the one who got most of the letters and cards from 2 generations of mail hoarders. 12 months ago
When she and my Dad first got married, she worked at the local hospital where they lived. Once she and my Dad started a family, she wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother. She waited til I was nearly 10 years old before she worked full time again. 12 months ago
The ceremony took place the day after my mom’s 19th birthday. I have no idea why they chose that day to get married. 12 months ago
She had several of his LP records which she bought while he was still very much alive and once told me she dreamed of visiting Graceland someday. By that time, my Dad had already had a heart bypass and travelling at that time was out of the question. She never got the chance to go. 12 months ago
She was fastidious about housework. The dishes were washed after every meal, the kitchen was spotless and the rest of the house was kept immaculate. All floors swept, mopped or vacuumed every weekday after we left for school. A comment was made once that you could eat off my Mom’s kitchen floor. I don’t even recall my dad ever lifting a finger back then to help with any housework unless my mom was gone.
However, the weekends were different. It was almost as if she considered housework a 40 hour week job and other then cooking meals and washing dishes, no housekeeping tasks were performed.
Of course, once my Mom entered the work force after we moved to Missouri and my Dad didn’t have a regular paycheck, things changed. 12 months ago
My mom would celebrate her birthday for a full week from the actual day. She loved birthdays and since her death, I’ve tried to appreciate my own birthday which I usually dread each year. 12 months ago
When the big ugly c word popped up in her life in mid November 1994, my mom took it in stride. Although she was diagnosed with breast cancer, it apparently took the form of a rarer type that attacked the ducts around the nipples called Paget disease. After having a biopsy and mammogram to insure it was isolated and hadn’t spread, she chose to have both a normal Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday that year and scheduled her surgury in January rather then disrupt her holidays. I thought it was ludicrous to wait but it was her body and her life. She was lucky and everything went well afterwards. She had radiation just in case and chose reconstruction surgury afterwards and basically went on with her life as always. It has made me aware of the importance of monthly self-exams and yearly mammograms especially if the is breast cancer in your family. 12 months ago
for my Girl Scout troup. At times, it was great to do stuff together with her like the camping but there were times when I wish I could be like the majority of other girls in our troup and she would just drop me off for my meetings and leave. 13 months ago
I remember when she got cannesters all in the gold color and then got everything else like them to match.
13 months ago
Collectorofcats One of the biggest fights we had was about our going to Cincinatti to visit my stepdaughter
We had planned a week’s vaction to visit her then cut it short because my husband had to work. Then he told me and our daughter to go ahead and take a long weekend and make the drive which was 8 hours one way. Gas was cheaper back then and even if we were only going for 3 days, we would have a whole day to spend together.
My mom made a comment about our driving by ourselves and knowing the following weekend was her weekend off, I invited her to come with us. She declined. That was on a Wednesday. I went over Thursday evening to borrow a something for the trip and she exclaimed “You’re not still going, are you?”
“Yes. We are. I know what I’m doing. I’m not twelve years old anymore. We haven’t changed our plans. We’re leaving first thing in the morning. I’m going to time it so hopefully we miss the worst part of St. Louis morning traffic.”
That conversation ended in a hell of an argument. I think my mom really thought that I wouldn’t go without her. 13 months ago
Just a day or two before my birthday, my mom told me she had to do something important and I had to go with her. My dad had just gotten home from work so we took the car. we stopped at a house and went to the door and knocked. A lady answered ans asked if we were there about the kitten. My mom said yes and the lady said there was only one left. He was all black and the cutest little thing. I got to sit in the back of our station wagon and hold him all the way home. When my mom asked me what I wanted to name him, I said “Sugar”.
She said she thought that was the perfect name even if he was all black. 13 months ago
My mom ironed nearly everything anyone in our family wore. From my dad’s work shirts to my little dresses and my brothers’ jeans. She even ironed everyone’s socks and underwear. 13 months ago
and even used a prescription anti-persirant for awhile. When not using something prescribed by a doctor, she used Mitchum. I never noticed her having a bad body odor. 13 months ago
And I finally came home from the hospital after having to stay a couple extra days because of my c-section and not receiving a blood transfusion, my mom offered to stay the night to help us out. She bunked in the front bedroom with my 13 year old stepdaughter. It only lasted one night, however. She made some excuse to go home the next morning telling us it looked like we had everything under control.
At this time we were living in the old farmhouse that my mom grew up in and a few days later My stepdaughter told us the real reason for my mom’s departure. “She told me she kept seeing the ghost of her mother walking around.”
I didn’t disbelieve her because my mom had told me of some weird dreams and other strange experiences she had in the past. 13 months ago
even if she only had skimpy eyelashes to match, I envied her because I inherited my wild brows from my dad. She never had to pluck or shape her brows and could get by without filling in or coloring with an eyebrow pencil. I, on the other hand, couldn’t keep my brow hairs going in the same direction and often overplucked them and once even shaved them off in frustration. 13 months ago
They depended on their vegetable garden to provide food for the entire year. She and her mother canned fruits and vegetables all summer long while they were in season for the coming winter. My mom who could hardly boil water when she got married, was actually a competent canner and did a little canning by herself when we still lived in California. Mostly she canned beets and bread & butter pickles. A couple years after we moved to Missouri, we had a really nice size garden and my mom canned green beans each summer for a few years. They always tasted superior to commercially canned green beans. 13 months ago
was seldom in any of the photos taken on vacations or holidays. 13 months ago
Even when my mom wasn’t wearing her chunky costume jewelry, she often wore one of her turquoise rings. On her left hand she wore her wedding and engagement ring and on her right her mother’s ring which we all chipped in to give her for Christmas one year and at least one turquoise ring. sometimes she even wore another turquoise ring on her left hand on her little finger. She loved turquoise but would only wear real turquoise stones. I alway thought that was funny because of all the other cheap costume jewelry she wore. 13 months ago