calm the hell down

It seems to me that I’m running a little lower on the intesity thing recently. Still crazy, but not waving my arms about and shouting quite as much…heh.

Not sure what might be bringing it about, but it seems like about as much calm as I could ask for.

I still probably need to ‘calm down’ but I don’t think I need to ‘calm the hell down’ anymore.

I was getting worked up just showing my supervisor how cool flickr is.

Good and bad send me into a heightened manic state, so what am I meant to do? I can’t avoid everything.

Crap.

I need to not be driving. Anywhere. Ever. This is infuriation central for me. My blood boils behind the wheel at the sheer incompetence of those driving around me, or even pedestrians, hell, even the squirrels running across the street raise my blood pressure for fear of killing one…

But there are errands and tasks that must be done, and my motivation and compulsion is to perform them NOW, so I must drive. A sheet of plywood cannot be carried on a bike…

Someday, perhaps, another solution will present itself…

...still, I am essentially tensing most of the major muscle groups that I still control.

This needs to end, though I don’t know how. I’m very much flying the ship apart in some bizzare need for speed life. Which is funny, as I’m about as clean as they come. No caffiene since…since I don’t know when. Coffee drinkers could learn a thing or two from me.

psst. the coffee is actually slowing you down…

Too intense, too much, too fast.

Am I heading toward a ‘healthy cardiac arrest’?

What the hell.