Closing this goal as part of my “no ‘cause-related’ goals for now” spring, erm, fall cleaning… 5 years ago
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I want to keep my goals in my list to be more on the positiv eside. When I demand something, that often makes me feel angry and entitled. Figure there are better ways for me to redirect my energies.
This is a good goal, and I will treat myself as one to be respected. For those who choose not to want to respect me, then I can remove them from my life and just let them go on their merry destructive ways, while I gain momentum in my strengthening, empowering ways. 5 years ago
I wrote another post on this, but in a nutshell, this one guy IM’d me in Yahoo. He befriended me, being the nice person I am and gained my sympathy. He said I looked really nice and wanted to see me on cam and wanted me to send him pictures of myself, since he sent me pictures of himself.
I said his writing appeared similar to a creep I know and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He also wanted to see me on cam. I said no. Rarely will I ever let anyone see me on cam unless I know them fairly well.
Anyway, it turns out he was this creep posing as someone else
He thought that if he said nice things to me and gained my trust that I would be okay with revealing myself. What the hell did he think I would do that? And, what did he think I would do, strip? He’s out of his fricken mind.
I recognize that I’m no supermodel, but hell if I’m going to just cow tow (sp?) to any guy that gives me a compliment. I know who I am and I don’t have to put up with that crap. Especially if some guy is trying to manipulate me and gain my trust. That sure sucks.
Anyway, right now I’m really sensitive about this, so if you’re a guy, just go easy on the compliments. Heck, just be nice and don’t flirt with me. It’s going to take me a bit to mentally wash myself from that scumbag, as I had this nightmare last night about him.
This creep just won’t take NO for an answer and finds all sorts of ways to weasel his way back into my life, posing as other people and making up ficticious stories.
Oh, he sent me these 2 erotic pictures of a man and woman in B&W doing stuff. I never asked or implied I wanted photos like this and I don’t get off on artistic type photos. Okay, yeah, I may want to do my own erotic type photos, but it wasn’t for anything except an expression of myself and how I feel about life and my body.
Anyway, the NO means I’m not taking anymore crap for this guy or any guy that tries to manipulate me. 5 years ago
Mr. Toddie brought up how this goal is a bit confusing in light of some of my sensual type posts or just inclination as of late of wanting artistic photos of myself.
So, what is the healthy balance here? How do I express my sexuality in a healthy way that doesn’t demoralize me or other women?
I truly think the body is a beautiful work of art by God, but not everyone views it as that. So, if that’s the case, is my posting artistic pictures of myself a dis-service to others.
But, I wonder if in the back of my mind, subconscious or something that the rejection of my husband, am I really just wanting attention from men to acknowledge me or to be just acknowledged? Hmmmm…even I question my own motives sometimes.
A part of who I am is a sexual being, but there would be boundaries, too.
On another note, there are fears about my own body, and a part of this is working through some of those. Maybe this just isn’t the proper format.
So, for those of my subscribers, if it seems like I’m confusing, I’m confusing my own self. Admittedly, when adding this goal to my list, I almost felt like putting the sexy artistic avatar up. Yes, someone please slap me. I do like that avatar, though. 6 years ago