Do What Must Be Done

but there is a plan. I was looking over that Clean Sweep program and it truly incorporates everything that needs to be done in one list. There are a lot of intermediate steps, a primary steps invovled but I think that it encompassses everything that “needs” to be done, and maybe even a few things that I just want to do as it talks about Personal fulfillment as well. That goal has replaced this one.

I have to do it. I have known that I would have to for quite some time, since I left my husband really. He did right after I left him and the restaurant went under. He asked me if I wanted to do it with him as we were still married at the time. I said no thinking and expecting to finish up my BA in Accounting and thought that having bankruptcy on my record would not look good on the credentials.

Well, I was not able to finish school after I left him and it was hard enough supporting the girls by myself. Two and sometimes three jobs was more than I could handle. I am glad they were good kids as they raised themselves the last few years while I worked. The lack of child support didn;t help matters. My second husband made some deal with the first when we were tranfered overseas. Number One would not sign passport applications for the girls because he didn’t want the girls to be so far away from him. BUT his idea of not having to pay child support in return for the signature sure changed that worry. Deal was if anything happened in my second marriage, he would begin paying child support again. During that time he becams disabled and no longer works. There is no income to petition child support from.

My concern was for my children and not the credit card bills. After my husband claimed bankruptcy, his creditors came after me as well because we were still married. When it became evident that I had no other option than to claim bankruptcy, I was worried that I would have some large payment to make on a monthly basis and I am doing all that I can to make ends meet now, how will I take care of any kind of ememrgency? I was scared, very scared.

Well, the lawyers have been calling trying to collect, and now a lawyer in my town has sent me a letter trying to collect a very large portion of money that was partially mine and partially my husbands, it is not far short from my annual yearly income. I was working in the aviation business as was my husband making very good salaries before 9/11. I am not making alone anywhere near what we were making together. I feel overwhelmed with the idea of the amount of debt that I am in, that I took with me when I left my husband, the amount that he is now free of and ae now after me. I am in a little better shape now, four years down the road, only one kid left at home, less worried about feeding and clothing kids.

I think I now must do what must be done. Now I need to take care of this problem. I need to claim bankruptcy but I can;t say that I am any less afriad than I was before. I am not worried about having to pay soem lump sum for a long period of time, not the havoc it will play on credit, (can’t be worse than my record of non-payment right now.) I am afraid of getting in a jam and having no options. That is my biggest fear. I need a retainer and I need to see a lawyer. But most of all I need some courage because I have never been so afraid to do anything in my life as I am to do this.

the stupid garbage disposal will not run and there is food in there and the house is starting to smell like a sewer!! I don’t know what it wrong, I pressed the reset button, plunged and still nothing. I finally called the and put in a work repair order. Nothing left to do but wait. (and burn a lot of candles)

find a tire for the Honda

so good.

much work to do still.