have a better marriage

It’s no use in beating a dead horse (don’t like the expression, but can’t find a more appropriate one…). I tried very hard. I spent 10 years trying… I always said I liked a good challenge :) but this has pretty much exhausted me. I can’t do it anymore. We’re getting divorced.

My marriage is a joke and has been since day one. I know i made a mistake but i need to know how to make the best of it and being married to an empty shell. This is an empty marriage and i need help dealing with it. He is now affecting our children with his isolation. What makes a person be like this? He really could care less if we are here or not. I just don’t get it.

he is a manipulating idiot. So how do I react, by trying to kill myself. I totally lost the will to live trying to please him. What happened to me. That is what I need to be concerned about and not having a happy marriage. What happened to me? Thank God for good friends who knew how to help. So I give up on a marriage. No I don’t blame him for my depression but I do blame him for lying and using me to find himself. Still he is angry because I am stronger and don’t want him anymore.

Now that I have thrown in the towel and taken off the ring and am moving on…. wahat do I hear… he never stopped loving me but just stopped showing it. He was unhappy and thought I should be the one to make him happy and no matter what I did, he wasn’t happy but now he says he still loves me and even though I can’t trust him that he needs show me how he really feels…. I didn’t say that there was no chance so he is going to keep trying. next sentence What the hell. Now I’m suppose to back on that ride. I am glad that conversation took place over the phone so I kept my hands/fists off of him. I found out that when I am make to feel a certain way that I hit. Luckily I have no strength in my body to actually do any real damage but it makes me feel better. Have a better marriage… in my dreams… he said its all about taking baby steps to get us back. It was what I wanted and I do still love him like no other man I have ever know but right now I like my dishwasher better than him. It saves me time and work and is dependable and is there every day. Its warm at times and keeps the dishes very clean. I just don’t know. In a few weeks I will be loosing a huge financial burden and really won’t need him for anything anymore. Is he just a bad habit or is this marriage really worth saving??? The sex, I am afraid will never be as good with someone else, for me thats something to also take into account. I guess I don’t need to solve this today.

Maybe. He thinks we are getting closer and working some things out which I still don’t know what they are. He claims that the other woman is just a friend and all they do is talk… i think this feels wrong and she should not be having what seems to me as a high school infatuation. they text each other all the time and talk on the phone up to 10 times a day. this is wrong and he claims that she is on of his friends and why am I making it a problem and acting jelous. if I don’t trust him what do we have. Nothing. What reason do I have to trust in him. He is finding his happiness with another woman and not with me for some reason. We had a rough year and I’m trying to make amends in whatever way I think I can since he can’t tell me exactly what is wrong. i have to guess. I feel like she is his best friend and that I’m not. Is this a midlife crisis that lots of 45 year old people go through?? Would I be wise to stick it out since I do love him or should I take what little bit of respect that I have left for myself and move out in januaryl. I have to go and talk to someone who can help me see this a little clearer. Am I just being a jelous bitch and he is ok to be hanging out with a pretty 33 year old going throught a dovorce. She calls him her emotional infidelity. thats just wrong and sick. i hate her and am tired of thinking about her and him.

Both people have to be working on a better marriage. My husband is driving me crazy with the head games. I decided to get an apartment since he was so unwilling to let me try to make our marriage better, for well over a month it’s been like a roller coaster ride. Now he doesn’t think its the right thing to do and wants me to stay. The constant flipping is going to drive me crazy. We were just starting to have some calm and his no class girl friend decided that it was acceptable to call him at home. Even as I read this I think I am probably not very smart to even want to stay. He’ll ask me how I think we’re doing and I’ll say better. I ask his opinion and he’ll say that I don’t need to know. How is this not screwing with my head. Its so close to Christmas that its just cruel to be going through this garbage now. I didn’t have an afair as he thought and I never brought another person into our problems as he has. Says its not an afair, what would you call it! Says she’s not our problem but she has made them so much worse that I ever could have imagined. We have been married for only 3 years. We shouldn’t be thinking about separating. We should be happy and enjoying each others company. The only thing we have in common right now is good sex, how weird is that. Thats all I’m good for I guess. Thats the only time he’s even decent to be around cause everything else I do is just anoying to him. For example I couln’t sleep last night and he was awake and I stated this to him. So in the morning he yelled at me for not letting him sleep. Usually if I could’nt sleep he would say well why didn’t you wake me up. Everything I do is wrong. Feels like jumping through hoops to mean as much to him as Tammy does. So why do I want to stay in a marriage where i’m not wanted. I dont’ have the answer to that one yet. Either it works or I am gone on Jan. 1st to start a new life on my own. He said I have till them to get this right. Such pressure to act “normal” when I don’t even know what normal is anymoe. I can’t even think of anything else but how can I fix this when I don’t even know what went wrong. I am having a bad day and don’t see much hope today. I wonder how long before a person runs out of tears.

I’m glad yesterday after noon we talked about everything! I mean EVERYTHING today we are getting along sooo much better.

YAY

I have two kids under two and absolutly NO sex drive. When it’s night time I want to sleep. My husband, of course, wants sex. I really feel bad that I’m never in the mood but my daughter still wakes up 2 or 3 times in the night and then they are both up at 7. I’ve tried to make it so that thier nap time is together but it hardly ever is so I can’t take a nap during the day. Then I go to work at night a couple nights a week from 4 or 5 until 11 or 12. How am I to get my sex drive back?

I would like to have a better marriage. I also would like to have a better sex life. I am so tired of what I have now. I have to beg for the sex I get. Have thought about divorce I am 35 and he’s 39. Have been married almost 18 years come next month.

I used to give in to him a lot and have recently started not doing that and things are going wonderfully!!