decide what i want from life

I think I need to re-visit the lists that I wrote a while ago and maybe also write some new ones.

I’m feeling a bit at sea and have lost sight of some of the things I was after.

...I found myself thinking a lot about the things that I want. Which is an unusual thing altogether as (I think) I don’t usually let myself think about such things. As though I must be some sort of paragon who never wants or needs anything.

Anyway, the fact that this is unusual aside, I actually started writing them down. I didn’t think at first that I would be able to speed-write. But I could. I thought I would run out of ideas, but I haven’t. I think what I’m going to have to do is not censor any of it and then, as Mejaka said, go through and look for patterns, symbols and other such thing.

I already think I can see some emerging themes.

This is strange and unfamiliar. And I’m already worrying about the next step of how to get the things that I want. But I need to concentrate on the task in hand first.

...a beginning?

I met up with a friend last night who has given me an idea.

She’s had some difficult times lately and a friend gave her a notebook with the instruction to write in it things that she wants. She has made a start although apparently for ages she couldn’t write anything.

I think I might have to find myself a similar notebook.

I have noticed that a lot of my head-based goals and their possible solutions seem to involve notebooks of some description!