What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more
Sorry, I couldn’t resist that Haddaway song.
I was having a conversation with someone I think highly of and she revealed to me that she was very concerned about a friend of hers who was going down a dangerous path that was only going to lead to trouble. I was thinking that it was drugs or alcohol or something equally dangerous. It wasn’t. It was that he was gay, which goes against her personal religious beliefs.
I was stunned. While I fully support her right to her own religious beliefs, I also fully support an individual’s right to live their own life without the interference of others. She was wanting to intervene in his life and let him know that he was going to hell for living this life of sin. That crosses the line for me.
You may be wondering what this has to do with gay marriage (or adoption or rights in general). The principle is the same as far as I’m concerned. Unless you plan on sleeping with someone yourself, it’s no business of yours what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom (or bathroom or kitchen or…)
People are arguing against gay rights based on their own personal religious beliefs or morality. I ask these people what business is it of theirs to impose their beliefs on others. Would they want the Taliban coming in and imposing their beliefs on them? Of course not. So what makes it right for the religious conservatives to want to impose their beliefs on the rest of the United States?
Marriage is a public recognition of a bond between two people who have chosen to live their life together. If two women want to live together in marriage, then more power to them. With divorce rates hitting record highs, obviously heterosexual couples are not doing something right. Why exclude people who want to be married to each other from having that possibility? The United States supposedly has a separation between Church and State, but not in practice when it comes to things of this nature. That’s sad.
People argue on financial impact of having to give benefits to people’s partners, and all those other perks that married couples get. That’s just a cover up for their own prejudices against homosexuals. Companies that have offered domestic partner benefits have not gone bankrupt. What they have done is retained key employees who feel their company recognizes them for their contributions. These employees will be more dedicated and work harder for the company.
In regards to gay adoption, people say stupid things like the gays are recruiting or will convert the kids. Some even say that they’re child molesters looking for victims. Statistics show that the vast majority of pedophiles are heterosexual, but you don’t see people picketing straight guys who want to adopt or be foster parents. More and more evidence is coming forth to show that sexuality has a genetic foundation. Just like you as a heterosexual cannot choose to change to being gay like flipping a switch, a homosexual cannot choose to be straight. Sure lots of them will live straight lifestyles out of fear or shame or just to fit in, but their true nature is always a part of them. There are so many children who need a good home, and if someone is willing to take them in, shouldn’t they be given a chance to make a difference in a child’s life? Isn’t love the most important thing anyway?
Back in the 90s, I was visiting a friend in DC and we went to see the AIDS Quilt which was being displayed on the Mall in it’s entirety. It was a very moving experience as we located the piece that was made by friends for the brother of a mutual friend. While we were there, there were people picketing. It really pissed me off that these people would want to inflict their beliefs on people who are trying to remember those who were lost. That wasn’t the worst part though. Among those picketing was a little girl. She couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. She was holding a sign that read “God Hates Fags” and she smiled as I took her picture. Of everything I experienced that day, that little girl is what made me the saddest because her mind has been so corrupted by her parents. It’s people like that who shouldn’t be permitted to have children, not loving homosexuals.
Back in the early part of this century, women didn’t have the right to vote. Eventually that changed as a few outspoken women stood up for their rights, and fought until they got them. Blacks were once slaves with no rights, and even after Lincoln freed them, they still were treated separately. That was until strong individuals like Rosa Parks stood their ground, and eventually things changed. Heck, the thought of a black man and white woman would have gotten people lynched even just a few years ago, yet that is now accepted by most. Now is the time that gay people are beginning to stand their ground, to fight for their rights. Yes, people are going to fight against them, but eventually they should get the same rights as heterosexuals, shouldn’t they? I mean weren’t we all created equal? Isn’t our nation based on that assumption? Isn’t it “We The People” not “we the majority” nor “we the select ones”?
So I started with the question of what is love. Love is not who or what you have intercourse with. Love is not imposing your beliefs on others. Love is compassion, and accepting people for who they are. And isn’t that all we should hope for in our lives? So if two people love each other (or love a child) then let’s not stand in their way. Let’s let that love blossom and grow openly, instead of behind closed doors. You never know, maybe that gay couple will teach the straight couple how to make a marriage work. 5 years ago