kick this "all or nothing" thinking to the curb

it’s true. im always like ‘i gotta have it all or i am worthless’

but how untrue is that?

...all around last week, which is part of the reason I didn’t post here much. I tend not to post here when I’m not too proud of how I’m doing. I procrastinated; I ate poorly; I did the bare minimum on my classwork; I withdrew socially; I even missed the first 2 sessions of my yoga class (to be fair, the first time was out of my hands, and the second sort of was, too). Yikes.

I think this has a LOT to do with the ALL OR NOTHING monster. I can’t remember where I slipped up first, but my sense is that slip-up #1 started a cascade effect in my brain, one I was only partially conscious of. When I do something I’m ashamed of, I tend to just throw up my hands and think “well, I messed THAT up, so why bother with THIS?”. Double-yikes.

Anyhoo…it’s a new week, a fresh start. I can’t just give in to that kind of thinking. It’s fine if I fail, but failing because I didn’t even try is just silly. So I’m picking myself up and trying again, darn it.

I know I am not getting any younger. Sometimes I will settle for a minor gain, rather than lose all my peace of mind striving for perfection.

...and in my struggles with many of these goals. I want a fully-formed good habit immediately. And when I fail, I feel like giving up. If I can’t do it 100% right away, what’s the point?

It’s so ingrained that I don’t even realize that I’m doing it most of the time.

It’s a totally unrealistic and destructive thought-habit. And I’m tired of it.