create a home

Today after like two hours of sleep, Matt and I drove 2 hrs away to look at two mobile homes(all we can afford right now). The first one was a dump, the second guy stood us up. Then we went to eat at a diner thinking we could eat for less than 30 dollars, since that was all the money we had left. My food cost ten dollars. It was called greek spinach pie and came out smelling like seaweed so bad I took one bite and I was done. In the end, all I ate was the cheese off my french onion soup and my chocolate milk(with whipped cream :D ). In the end, we didnt have enough to pay for this food, how I dont know. The lady started hasseling Matt and we were so embarassed. I came up with enough to just pay the bill and left my LAST dollar bill for the dude as a tip. It was the best I could do. Then, mad, tired, and frustrated, I started the two hour trip back home. Both my boys passed out.

When we got home I made Matt call this number for one more ad. It was a mobile home in a town I like, close by in the same county. It was a little more but the guy didnt mind MAtt calling on a sunday and even said we could come look at it tonight. We like the place. It needs some work but it has a nice big lot, the guy will work with us so we can buy the place, and Im very excited. So is Matt. So today sucked for the most part but I did get to laugh with Matt alot and we may have found our next home.

Im nervous to have to leave my baby and go out to get a job so we can afford this place… I havent worked in two years and my agoraphobia is at an all time high level. But I saw a quote today on the side of the road and it hit home for me. I think it was for the bible, Pslams to be exact( I THINK thats what the sign said) “Seek peace and persue it”.

Choose paint for our rooms
Buy throw pillows and a GOOD couch
Have white pretty celing fans
Wainscote a room
Have a year for our pups
Have a room for Gabriel and decorate it with the little nut brown hare
Have a fire pit
Have a deck or porch
Decorate with paper lanterns or pretty string lights
Have our own laundry room

I spent a rainy day teaching my three year old to play hide and seek instead of trying to avoid engaging with my family. It was such a light thing to do. I could feel good memories growing up around us. So often I forget that doing the right thing makes one happier than self indulgence.

My husband and I live in a beautiful home. We’ve been here for almost a year and have not hung a single piece of art. We’ve only painted my daughter’s room… We have talked about painting the rest of the house but have done absolutely nothing. I’m Black, my husband is White & English. I want inspiring abstract art, old family photos, folk art. He wants old world pieces. But the main problem isn’t our differences, it’s our fear. I don’t insinuate my ideas etc into our home because I think he won’t like them. I think he does the same. We don’t take risks and our home looks as if it hasn’t been lived in. We also don’t have endless resources financially. Still, I want to have the courage to create a REAL home. Cozy, loving…something that inspires me every day. I want to get rid of the clutter…But that’s another “thing”.

I beieve that women are the knitters of society. They almost always get what they work for. I intend to work toward a cozy home which gathers people to it in art and laughter. Everyone should be well fed. Couples should meet. Kids should yell and bake. Teenagers should lounge and play video games and eat junk while being exposed to the occasional adult or child. Minds should be challenged. Flowers and trees and animals should add their wild magic to the mix. I hope it can be achieved.

can be a tiny little apartment, doesn’t need to be fancy but a little haven for me.