get better friends

My friends have decided they don’t like my boyfriend, and pretty much buggered off. What ever. I need better friends badly hahaha

yeah its pretty sad actually. Instead of killing myself to be a part of something that all my friends were doing, I decided to do something for myself. Now I feel like they are almost punishing me, its crazy. Shouldn’t they just understand that I’m just not into the same things as they are? And somehow I know that they would just turn things around on me… shift the blame onto me. So now I’m trying to adapt. its hard because they were basically my life. I don’t really know what the point of everything is. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I’m just creeping through my routine without really caring.

My friends are so abusive. They call me an idiot and, for a while, they actually made me beleive it. NO MORE!! I will get the guts to tell them to eff off and I will surround myself with people who actually have hearts. I’m finally taking a step in the right direction…

Im not giong to lie. they get on my nerves. They’re sometimes ok but… everytime i think of suggestions, or advice on something they’re ALWAYS putting me down. Its like, i have to be like them to fit in. And thats not cool. I need friends that i can be my self around.

To be fair i have a lot of good friends, i assume the reason they are such good friends is because i dont know them better. pessimistic, i know! OK, so i’ll share some examples of why they suck..
O, M, and S were my friends (whats worse is that i introduced them). B’s my best friend.

first S got mad because i drunkely hooked up with some guy who she apparently was in love with, but didnt care enough to ever tell me that she liked him.. and she knew i had a fat crush on him for like 2 years.

Then I secretly almost fell in love with M’s brother and one night kinda hooked up with him and never told, and denyed it to the end.. well eventually i came clean and she wasnt too mad, until the next day.. Well S and M bonded over this..

Then O joined in just to fit in with them like the loser that she is and so i was left with my ‘other’ friends… the one’s who seem soo dependable; once again because i dont know them better.
now me and my guy friend were going to parties and such, and ya i kissed him but seriously thats it. Well that got out, he hinted to O that we had sex, (who apparently was head over heels in love with him) and now they are all bonding over my alleged slut status. I’m so upset! these were all my close friends too!

Now, O, S and M are friends with this girl K,
who has only heard bad things about me from them and therefore hates me..

This leads us to my bff B,
who is friends with K.
I’ve known B since birth, we grew up together, and she has just moved out of state. I always had her there and now she’s sooo farway, and during all this!

Well, B has always ‘not taken sides’
between me and K,
and K sooo doesnt know me or have any reason (of her own) to dislike me but she does
and B stays completely out of it. I feel like she should be backing me up and being a good friend and she isn’t or wasn’t..

So B is in town,
screw O, S and M
(and K [i’m a hypocrete)]
but after taking B out and paying for everything not only does she not say thank you,
but she’s having a dinner-party.. just for her old school friends.. and all her other friends besides me. I’m devestated..
I didnt realize how completely upset i was until i broke down on the phone to my friend A

*B’s always been my bff, and there for me and all that good stuff, now what?
and should i tell O that i didnt have sex with that guy, or should i trust that we just werent meant to be friends if she’d throw it all away over a stupid man-whore friend of ours? Please tell me because i cant ask people here, it’d only make more drama!!

The people I’ve been hanging out with recently don’t really share my interests…the past 5 times I’ve hung out with them I’ve been bored out of my mind. Plus they always want to do things that spend money that I don’t have. I can’t wait until the weather gets better so I can go out and meet new people.

So I met a new guy whom I think would be a great new friend. Problem is he sees a date, I see a friend..

I want the kind of friends who I can depend on and trust just as they can me. I want the kind of friends who cheer you up when your down and in between our hectic lives we make time to meet for lunch. I want BEST friends. Two movies that can help me explain this better:
1. The seweetest thing
2. Waiting to exhale
In that order. Is that too much to ask for? Are there any real friends out there for me? I want to move to California like the L.A or Santa Monica area, is there anyone who has the same goal maby and needs a true friend to plan it with?????

i just need better pals! wine & beer are great, but i need more reliable & permanent ones….am an idealist or what?

i only know that i have
one
for sure
true
always there
friend
and i just met her this year
my old friends can fuck themselves
i mean
dont copy me
dont try and take my life
make up your fucking mind on our relationships
and dont
dont
say you know me
you dont
i want better friends
to hang with
party
laugh like hell till i fall to the ground
in the middle of the fucking street
go around at night
and scare people