stop seeking approval from others

I definitely care too much what other people think of me. I need to start living my life the way I want to, not the way I ‘think’ I should. One would think this would lead to having less friends if you just do your own thing, but I don’t have many around here to begin with so what’s the difference? I would be happier either way.
Also something tells me I’d be happier and happier people attract other happy people.
I need to stop living my life so make other people happy and by their rules. I need to take more responsibility for myself and grow up and become who I want to be.

does checking my cheers count? lol. regardless, i’m getting there, slowly but surely. things still come up and sometimes it’s appropriate to consider others’ feelings, but i guess there is a fine line between being considerate and seeking approval. this should be ticked off the list soon but not quite yet.

but i have noticed that itch every once in a while, whether it is with my family (esp my parents) or certain coworkers, or even friends. as far as my friends go, it manifests itself more in not sharing certain details of my life with some of them because i know they would be somewhat judgmental about my choices – but i am starting to believe that there is nothing wrong with that. in the past, my relationships were too much of an open book, and my friends perhaps knew too much. now, i have two friends who i feel won’t judge me so i can vent to them when i need to. the rest, i just choose what i want to share with them at the moment. my family is a bit more complex, since one sister will share everything with my parents while the other is more of a ‘black sheep’ and i feel would keep my info confidential. and for some reason i feel myself trying to fit in with a new, younger coworker whose style is quite a bit more outgoing and obnoxious than mine. it feels forced. i think it’s just a part of me wanting to be more outspoken (she says WHATEVER is on her mind) but it bothers me so i am going to stop.

I have learned that I need to be more confident in my own choices and opinions and not rely so much on what my family think. I went out with this guy once whom i thought was ‘the one’, and when i asked my cousin to speak to him on the phone, i could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn’t impressed by him. She also did not give me any feedback on him after the phonecall. I lost confidence in introducing him to the rest of my family in the end because i was so worried about what they would say. Eventually he terminated our relationship and i can’t help but wonder if he felt that I didn’t introduce him to my family because I didn’t value him.

Lesson learned: I loved him enough to see past his faults so i should have been more courageous and payed no attention to what my family thought.