have confidence in myself

What do i have to lose, right? i just want to walk up to a cute guy and flirt a little you know? how many more friends would i have if i were more confident? Well we shall see!

I just really want to have more confidence in myself. I’m always, always, always self-conscious and there’s never been a day when I haven’t been this way as far as I know. I want to be able to go to the school and not worry about people judging me, or thinking things about me, or looking at me weird. I just want to be comfortable with myself and not worry about what everyone else thinks and wants me to be. I want to be able to act like myself and not put on a show for everyone just so that I don’t come off as a freak. I want to not care. I just want to be able to be me.

I have made huge step forward with this. It is an adapted version of something Tony Robbins said. I heard it a while ago but it has worked well for me on this goal. He mentioned something along the lines of not thinking any negative thoughts. What have tried not think any negative thoughts about myself. It is quite hard to monitor your self talk at first for any negative thoughts but then becomes easier. I haven’t blogged about it yet because I want to wait to see the full effects.

http://www.facefear.co.uk

‘Confidence in myself’. I am the only person who can truly control this . I may gain confidence from external forces but this means that external forces can also take my confidence away. What would I need to get confidence in myself? And if this was taken away would I still have confidence? I want it to be something internal so that no one can take it away. Then I will be truly self confident.

http://www.facefear.co.uk

I have a list of things to do by the end of 2008. I figured that if i can do at least half of the things on the list, then it proves I have at least some confidence in myself. There are 100 things on the list. So far I’ve done 56. I’m getting somewhere.

I have some psychological problems that I don´t trust that I can handle myself…

i want to be more happier

and when I told a friend she said “That was a bold move.” After thinking about it I realized it had been. My old self would have shrunk down and not even have considered what I did. Now that I can look at the situation I realize that if it weren’t for my bold move a new opportunity that’s beginning to open up in my life would not have had a chance to take hold. I may not ever be the person that throws themselves out in the world. But I have enough confidence that I can make things happen.

I went out with a friend I haven’t seen for a while and she commented on how I seem to have a new confidence and charisma. I do think I’ve gotten alot more comfortable with myself and I think that’s where the confidence is coming from there. I still don’t think I have confidence in my abilities though. I’m on my way but I still have a long way to go.

I am totally lost. I don’t understand all this terrible things that keep happening to me. Is it because I’m not brave enough? Is it because I always think myself first? I need to find out.