Let the little things go

I find I stress more about the little things and then I dont’ worry much about the big things. I dont’ know if this makes it easier for me to deal with the big things or if I am just ignoring them…

that i havent quite grasped how to let the little things in life that eat at me go. things like my friends not being there for me as i am them. people at work not picking up their slack. insignificant stuff that i shouldnt get upset about.
recently my boyfriend told me that if i dont start letting go of the little stuff and moving on he was going to leave me. we are currently apart because we both have things we need to get situated,but i need to know how to do this so we can get back to the relationship we had.

I’m terrible at this goal and it’s one of the more important ones on my list. I’m trying to do this, I’m just not doing a good job. I should focus more energy on this.

You can not control anyone but yourself. A very wise woman said this to me.
I’m not doing so well at remembering it. I try to control every little situation right down to being the worst backseat driver that has ever lived. Although, admittedly- he did crash the car when I was in it. I think I have a right to be at least a little scared.
However it was two days ago when he was driving me home after a snow storm (ew) because I get dropped off and picked up from work like a rich person ahaha. but seriously. the minivan in front of us hit a snowpile and bam out of control in both lanes of the road. we’re exiting the highway going 50 mph and while we aren’t tailgating- he’s in both damn lanes. and he somehow manages to miss this minvan careening towards us. it was completely out of my hands. and he should have hit that car. if i’d been driving i would have hit that minivan. and that’s just the thing i wasn’t and i can’t control what he does when he drives but i have to trust in him and my decision to let him drive me around and trust that something (God?) will get me where I need to be. Someone was on our side. and that minivan’s side too. We had a big ol’ truck. We would have flipped them all the hell over. and it would have been just absolutely terrible. Anyhow. Instead of being worried over little things like money—although when you really don’t have any it’s a little bigger at that time- because eating is important… but it’s silly to worry about those things that don’t… aren’t going to change your life in some dramatic way. Aren’t going to make you think of things in a different manner for the rest of your life. I’ve already started really working on this in my life as it was. Medning broken fences I suppose. But it just all laid out there in front of me at that moment. And why would I want to waste my time being upset about things when I’m with the person I love and could spend all that time being …in love. I want to be remembered as someone who had a lot of love for life and the world and not as someone who spent time being angry. I don’t want to be angry about anything silly anymore. Not that I won’t get mad when my paycheck is off 500 dollars- but I don’t want to stay mad. I don’t want to hold grudges. For anything less than… things that would really change my life.

Being in your thirties sort of automatically makes you realize this, I think, albeit gradually. :)

however, control my temper is more about holding it in and trying not to break things since i love to break things when i am mad. but letting the little things go, for me, is about learning to exhale and just LET IT GO. It is about not making a mountain out of a hill and not being so melo-dramatic all the time. I tend to do that a lot. I just want to be calm, relaxed, and learn to let the little things go.
Like this morning…and every morning at that. I absolutely detest having to wake Bri up in the morning. He is hard to wake up. When he finally does get up, I am already angry because I feel he contributes to us being late all the time and me missing my 1st class every single morning! It is rare I go to that class. It kinda makes me fume.
It makes me mad because I drop off Gabie and then I drop Bri off…finally I go to school. By the time I get to me, it is already too late.
I can’t find a solution. I mean, I can’t MAKE him get up early. Maybe this is one of those things I have to learn to let go. But how can I, when it bothers me so much?

“Don’t let other people’s sh-t get to you,” says my very wise male housie, when we discuss that there will be none of the “no parking on the driveway” rule when our female housie leaves us in 6 weeks.

He’s also the one who said after knowing me for all of about 2 weeks, “Geez, B-! You’re like a duck on a lake. Little legs kicking furiously underneath the water while all remains calm on the surface.”

I suspect he’s smarter than you’d think upon first glance – I need to start paying more attention methinks. It is mostly other people’s garbage (the little things, like the frowning and the stomping because we’re simply there) I take on board that ends up getting me down!!

Sometimes things tick me off and I feel like I get into a kinda “thought loop” where I keep thinking the same things over and over again.

I am pretty good at letting all those little things go nowadays but still have not achieved mastery of this goal…

totally sucking at this right now.

but it’s really hard. I just need to breathe. Let it all go.

I think I’m going to have to start rating things when I feel myself getting annoyed. Giving them a mark out of 10 and it’s an annoyance below a certain point, I’ll decide, calmly and logically, that it’s not worth getting worked up over.

Breathe. Let it all go.

So much rage lately. I am one angry young woman.