Couple a days ago I found a story of 15 years old Finnish girl who was bullied so severely that she killed herself. Her parents have started a movement of trying to get their daughters story out and to help to prevent other suicides. It’s too late to save their girl, but maybe some other lives are still there to save. The story made me so sad. And it made me even sadder to find out that this is not ordinary story. There are severals. There are kids that are hurt so badly, no body listens them, and the only way they see is to kill themselves.
But suicide is NOT an option!
I was bullied 2 years, in 8th and 9th grade. It wasn’t physical. Just mental. I was left out. Sad. I didn’t tell anyone. I try to remember did my parents ever said anything or wondered cos I didn’t spend my time after school with friends like normal teens would? The reason was simple. I didn’t have friends. I do remember one time when my parents did ask me how I was, when my parents had met my teacher and she had asked why I am always so quiet. I don’t remember what I answered. I just remember that I was mad that my teacher didn’t realized the truth: how the classmate tormented me. And my teacher never asked me personally what’s going on. I hid behind a mask as so many does. It is hard to say what’s going on unless you tell or someone really asks.
I survived those years simply by thinking that just those 2 years left and I would be changing school and where most of my bullies wouldn’t come. I could start over and be myself. I just bite my tongue and I was right. Things got better in gymnasium (the school, not the sport building :P). I got real friends and I was some what popular. But I did thought that there was some nasty rumors about me, even thought none got into my ears. I guess I was a bit skeptic. And I was so shy, so I didn’t date anyone.
If I would have been bullied for all my school years, I don’t know how I could have survived. Would I have someday got enough and ended it somehow: saying something or suicide? I am thankful that I got over it and it wasn’t that horrible that some people have to take. But it did left me some scars. It was hard for me to trust people. I still sometimes question peoples’ friendship for me. Why they want to be my friends? What’s the catch? Not that often anymore. I am different person than then. And even back then, I didn’t do anything wrong and there wasn’t anything wrong with me. And I am quite glad that I wasn’t part of that “bullying team”.
When I was younger, I always wanted to stand up for the weak. I was trying to be everyone’s friend. I still can’t stand bullying and I wish that people would get along with each others. On the 1st or 2nd grade I actually hit one guy for bullying my friend. He got black eye and I felt really bad for doing it. Violence isn’t an answer. But he didn’t bully me or my friend anymore.
That’s actually one problem. People who are bullied, becomes bullies cos they can’t stand anymore and attack is sometimes better defense. It shouldn’t be that way.
Suicides. I understand how it feels that it hurts so bad that you don’t want to live anymore. I’ve been there. My reasons weren’t in bullying, but something else, but I have thought about killing myself. But I didn’t want to do that for people who care about me. And it helped me to read about stories of people who were in the same situation as me. That’s why I hope that people who are bullied and/or thinking about suicide would seek information. You are not alone. Even though it would feel that way, you are not. And it gets better. You might get surprised that when you talk about it to someone, you will find out that there is someone who cares. Your life is important. Mean people might have said that it isn’t, but it is.
To bullies I would like to say something: think about your actions. It might feel like nothing, but it could feel like everything to someone who you are bullying. What do you get from it? You might regret someday. Think about it now, before it’s too late.
If you see someone get bullied, don’t just watch by. Say something, do something. You might save someones life. Watching or turning your look away is as worse as being part of the bullying team. Be brave.
I dream of world where wouldn’t be bullies anymore. I dream of world where are everyday heroes who stand up for the weaker. And if your child or someone who you know tells you that they are bullied, take it seriously. You don’t want to regret later. 14 months ago